His Heart Just Wasn’t In It

, , , , , | Right | June 9, 2010

(A customer looks like he is in a huge hurry. After five minutes of looking at the menu, he orders a grilled sandwich.)

Me: “It will take a little longer for the grilling.”

Customer: “I only have five minutes.”

Me: “Well, I suggest you not get it grilled because it will take about eight minutes.”

Customer: “I want it grilled and I want it in five minutes!”

(After five minutes of the customer pacing up and down, he comes up to the counter.)

Customer: “I need the sandwich now!”

Me: “Okay, it’s being wrapped up for you sir.”

Customer: “I am a heart surgeon, and I have a critical patient that I’m supposed to be operating on right now! I was supposed to be there a half-hour ago!”

(I give him his sandwich and he hurries out the door. Five minutes later, he rushes back through the door.)

Customer: “I need extra Russian dressing!”


This story is part of the American States roundup!

Want to read the next story? Click here!

Want to read the roundup? Click here!

1 Thumbs
3,174

Cinnamon Never Tasted So Bitter

, , , | Right | May 22, 2010

(I work at a grocery store where our policy is to take a customer to the aisle of the item they are looking for instead of just telling them the aisle number.)

Customer: “Um, excuse me! Where do you keep your cinnamon?”

Me: “It’s in the baking aisle. If you follow me, I can take you over to the right aisle.”

Customer: “No. Can’t you just tell me where it is? I’m sick of you people. All I want to do is buy my groceries and you all keep saying hello to me and smiling at me! Where’s the d*** aisle?”

Me: “Well, ma’am, cinnamon is located in aisle eight.”

Customer: “I want to speak to your manager. You people are too f****** cheerful. I can’t stand it!”


This story is part of the complaining customer roundup!

Read the next complaining customer roundup story!

Read the complaining customer roundup!


This story is part of the American States roundup!

Want to read the next story? Click here!

Want to read the roundup? Click here!

1 Thumbs
3,948

The Point Of No Return

, , , , | Right | May 6, 2010

Me: “Thank you for calling. How can I help you?”

Customer: “You charged my credit card forty-five dollars. Can I get a refund?”

(I pull up his account.)

Me: “Okay. I see that you rented two movies that were never returned and you were charged the sale price of the movies.”

Customer: “Well, I was on vacation and I forgot to return them on time.”

Me: “Let me go check the shelves for them; it’s possible that they didn’t get checked in properly. If I find them I can put a credit on your account that you can use whenever you’re in the store next.”

Customer: “I didn’t return them.”

(It’s been over two months since the movies were originally due.)

Me: “You didn’t return them?”

Customer: “Nope.”

Me: “Sir, you would like me to pay you for renting movies and never bringing them back?”

Customer: “Uh-huh.”

Me: “I’m not going to do that.”

Customer: “Okay… I just thought I’d ask.”

1 Thumbs
2,789

Smelly Cat, Smelly Cat, What Are They Feeding You

, , , , | Right | March 10, 2010

Customer: “Oh, I needed help putting in this cat food, and the young man put in the wrong brand!”

Me: “Okay, let’s go over there and get the right one.”

(We walk over, and she looks at about five different bags of cat food, then goes to a bag of litter.)

Customer: “I think it was this one I wanted.”

Me: “Wait, did you want cat food or litter?”

Customer: “What’s the difference?”


This story is part of our Stupid Pet Owners roundup!

Read the next Stupid Pet Owners roundup story!

Read the Stupid Pet Owners roundup!

1 Thumbs
2,640

Drives You Round The U-Bend

, , , | Right | March 6, 2010

Customer: “The fish tank I have is really dirty and starting to smell, so I want to clean it but someone told me that I can’t use tap water in a fish tank.”

Me: “Yeah, you either have to get spring water or buy a bottle of water conditioner, and just add that to the tap water.”

Customer: “Oh. What if I use toilet water instead of tap water?”

1 Thumbs
1,915