(I’m running the self-checkouts during a busy time and this man calls me over.)

Customer: “Do you think I can scan this, even though the clearance sticker is covering the barcode?”

(He holds up a big Santa plate.)

Me: “Yeah, shouldn’t be a problem. If it is, just remove the clearance sticker a little so the lines of the barcode are exposed.”

Customer: “Well, you should just do it for me, since you clearly know how.”

Me: “Uh…”

(I look around to make sure no other customers are having issues, quickly scan it, and hand it back to him so he can decide how he wants it bagged. It is quite fragile, and I’m not sure.)

Customer: *looks at the plate after taking it back* “So, you got anything to bag this in?”

Me: “We have plastic bags.” *points at the plastic bags on the self-checkout*

Customer: “Okay. You bag it, then!”

(I wonder if he wanted me to pay for him, as well.)

(I am manning the self-checkouts when this woman dressed in all camo calls me over.)

Customer: “These underwear are not ringing up right! All hunting clothing was supposed to be 50% off!”

Me: “Huh, maybe it didn’t include underwear. Let me call back to the department to find out.”

(The customer scoffs at me while I go over to the phone to call back to the hunting department.)

Me: *on phone with coworker* “Hey, do you know anything about all hunting clothing being 50% off? A customer of mine says they are, I can’t find them in the ad, and her camo men’s underwear is not ringing up that way. I was curious if maybe the underwear wasn’t included?”

Coworker: “Uh. I don’t know. I’ll walk over there.” *a moment later* “Yeah, I don’t see what she’s talking about, sorry.”

Me: “Some of her other hunting clothing rang up that way, so there’s got to be some sort of sale tag.”

Coworker: “Yeah, I don’t see anything, sorry.”

Me: “Uh… okay… thanks…”

(I hang up, knowing this isn’t going to be easy since the woman was already mad at me. So, I walk back over to her.)

Me: “I’m sorry, it looks like he couldn’t find the tag you were talking about.”

Customer: “SO. You’re saying that I have to walk over and take a picture of it myself for you?! IF I do, then you better fix it for me!”

(She leaves for about five minutes and comes back waving her phone at me.)

Customer: “HERE’S YOUR PICTURE.”

(I try reading it but the picture is so blurry that any information on the tag is illegible.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I cannot read the print on the tag. Any information as to what’s not included would be there, but the picture, unfortunately, is too blurry for me to read.”

Customer: “UGH. This is just a waste of my time! I need to be somewhere! You should just call a manager over and have them fix this! It would be much faster!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I would still have to find out what’s going on before I get a manager involved. They wouldn’t know, either, unless we call the department. I’ll call him back and try again.”

Customer: “This is a waste of time!”

(I quickly go back to my phone to call my coworker back and see if he can find it again.)

Me: “Hey again, so she took a picture of the tag, and it’s illegible due to blurriness. It’s [brand] of clothing.”

Coworker: “Oh, okay. Let me look. Oh. Well, the tag doesn’t say anything against underwear not being included. But, the underwear doesn’t have the 50% off tag on it. Just give it to her, though.”

(I quickly access her computer from mine and change the price.)

Me: *to customer* “He said he wasn’t sure why it wasn’t working, so he said just to give it to you.”

Customer: “WAS THAT SO HARD?”

(I’m currently working the self-checkouts when a woman calls me over.)

Customer: “Hey, I’m having a problem over here!”

Me: “What’s wrong?”

Customer: “These vitamins rang up wrong! They’re supposed to be buy one, get one free!”

Me: “Looks like they’re ringing up at buy one, get one half-off. Let me check the ad.”

(She has eight bottles of vitamins; two are a different brand from the rest. Her two brands, however, are clearly listed as buy one, get one half-off. The ones that would be free are an entirely different brand.)

Me: “Okay, here they are.” *shows her the ad* “The ones that you have are half-off; these other brands are the free ones.”

Customer: “Well, your signs say differently! The ad must be wrong! I’m going to go back to look at them!”

(She storms over there, leaving her three sons with me. After a few minutes, she comes back with two vitamins from the brands that were free.)

Customer: “I need you to take all those vitamins off; I’m getting these, instead.”

(I work in the mobile phone department that sells services for various carriers. An older couple catches me while I am putting product away.)

Wife: “Hello, would you know what sales you have going on for [Phone]?”

Me: “Sure, who is your service provider? Do you have [Carrier #1], [Carrier #2], or [Carrier #3]?” *sales and promotions vary from carrier to carrier*

Husband: “Why don’t you give us [Carrier #1] and [Carrier #2]?”

Me: *goes through the promotions for both their chosen carriers*

Husband: “Oh, we don’t use [Carrier #2]! They don’t have good service where we live!”

Wife: “Well, thank you, anyway! We’ll try again later.”

Me: “…”

(I work audit at a well-known hotel chain. We usually mostly have business travelers, but during the summer we get various other guests, too. On this particular night, I have a bachelor party on the third floor. They’re down the hall from one of our business travelers, and they haven’t been particularly noisy that I’ve heard. Most of the louder people in the group have stayed in the lobby. A few minutes later, I get a phone call.)

Me: “Front Desk, this is [My Name].”

Guest: “THIS IS COMPLETELY UNACCEPTABLE! IT’S LIKE A HERD OF ELEPHANTS IN THE STAIRWELL! I JUST GOT IN FROM ENGLAND; I NEED MY SLEEP! WHAT IS GOING ON? WHY IS THERE SO MUCH NOISE?!”

Me: “I’m so sorry, sir, I know a larger group did just come in, but some of them are still in the lobby, and the rest were quiet when they went upstairs—”

Guest: “THEY WERE NOT QUIET! I COULD HEAR THEM ALL THE WAY UP THE STAIRS AND DOWN THE HALL. YOU HAVE TO MAKE THEM BE QUIET, NOW!”

Me: *flustered* “I’m so sorry! I didn’t realize they were being so loud. Usually if a bachelor party is loud in the lobby, I’ll warn them before—”

Guest: “BACHELOR PARTY?! YOU LET A BACHELOR PARTY STAY AT A [BRAND]?!”

Me: “Well, yes, sir, we can’t really discriminate based on type of—”

Guest: “THIS IS COMPLETELY UNACCEPTABLE. I’M A [HIGHEST TIER REWARDS MEMBER], AND I WON’T STAY HERE AT ALL IF [BRAND] LETS BACHELOR PARTIES STAY HERE, TOO. I’M TRYING TO SLEEP! I JUST GOT IN FROM ENGLAND!”

Me: “Let me run up and see what’s going on. If they’re still making noise in a few minutes, let me know.”

(I run upstairs and knock on both rooms with the bachelor party and let them know there’s a guest in a nearby room who has complained about them. As it turns out, he also yelled at them as they came up the stairs. Both rooms promise to be quiet, and I wait a little way down the hall to make sure. They aren’t being overly loud, just talking in normal voices, which is audible from right outside the door, but not down the hall. A few minutes later, my phone rings again.)

Me: “Front Desk, this is [My Name].”

Guest: “YOU SAID YOU WOULD MAKE THEM BE QUIET. WELL, THEY AREN’T QUIET. I’M A [HIGHEST TIER REWARD MEMBER]! I JUST GOT IN FROM ENGLAND! I NEED MY SLEEP! I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU WOULD LET A BACHELOR PARTY STAY AT A [BRAND]! *continues to rant at me about how unacceptable this is*

Me: “Yes, sir, I agree that it’s unacceptable for other guests to be making noise, but when I left they were quiet. I can go up and talk to them again, though?”

Guest: “YOU SHOULD KICK THEM OUT. I’M A [HIGHEST LEVEL REWARD MEMBER]!”

(I go upstairs again and talk to the rooms, and we mutually work out that the people who want to stay up and talk longer will hang around outside the hotel, since some of them want to smoke, too, and that they will be extra careful coming back in. I then go back down to see if I can comp the night for the complaining guest for the inconvenience. I see that he’s already been here for five days, and hasn’t just gotten in from England, like he loudly insisted to me. In the end, I leave a note for a manager to see if he’d prefer a comped night or more reward points. I find out the next day that he demanded to see me in the morning and was furious when he was told I wasn’t there.)

Me: “What did he want to do, yell at me some more?”

Supervisor: “Probably. Maybe don’t tell people when we have bachelor parties in house anymore?”

Me: “I guess not.”