Me: “Guest number 142!”

Guest #1: “I’m very upset. I don’t like being harassed while I’m in your store. I give these people a dollar every time they ask me at the bus station and now this man just asked me to buy him a burger.”

Me: “I’m sorry about that, ma’am, but unless we are told that someone is begging you for money, we don’t know it is going on. We don’t allow panhandling on our property.”

Guest #1: *interrupting me* “I just don’t understand why you can’t give him a burger. Why do I have to buy it?”

Me: “Ma’am, we’re a business, not—“

Guest #1: “You’re [Multi-Million-Dollar Restaurant Chain]; you have enough money to feed the homeless.”

Me: “Ma’am, I—“

Guest #2: “They’re a multi-million-dollar company because they charge people for burgers, not give them away. Now, get your crazy a** out the way. The rest of us want our food.”

(I work at a clothing store and we occasionally need to undress a mannequin for various reasons. If we are busy, sometimes the mannequin will be undressed for an evening. It should be noted that our mannequins are solid white from head to toe and don’t even have details like nipples or belly buttons. With the exception of their faces, they’re smooth. We regularly get people commenting on our naked mannequins, and occasionally people are actually upset by it, but this one takes the cake.)

Customer: “That mannequin is naked!”

Me: *laughs, thinking she’s being funny* “Oh, yes, I had to take her dress off for someone to try on.”

Customer: “But she’s been naked the whole time I’ve been here!”

Me: *realizing she’s serious* “We’ll dress her as soon as we have a moment and we can figure out what she is supposed to be wearing.”

Customer: “It isn’t right that she’s just standing there naked.” *walks away*

(Later that evening after we were closed, I walked by the same mannequin and realized that the woman had draped a sweater over the mannequin’s chest, which actually made her look weirder because now she was just pantsless. Why people get so upset about naked mannequins, I’ll never know.)

(One hot summer’s day, my college roommate and I decide we are in the mood for a frosty from Wendy’s. Neither of us has a car, so since it is nice out, we walk the mile and a half to get there. Unfortunately, the lobby is closed for renovations. Since there are no cars at the drive-thru, we walk up to the window to ask if there’s any way we can order there.)

Cashier: “Sorry, ladies, but we can’t take walk-up orders at the drive-thru for safety reasons.”

Roommate: “Bummer, after that long walk. Thanks, anyway!” *we turn to leave*

Cashier: “Hold on a sec.” *looks around furtively* “Here.” *hands me his keys* “My car is right there; just pull through real quick.”

(And so we did! The frosties were delicious! We are forever grateful to you, kind cashier!)

(I work as a bank teller. As part of our training, we are told that if we are ever robbed we are to just hand over the money and not fight or argue with the robber. The branch that I trained at was robbed three months ago. I work in a grocery store bank, and it is the middle of a weekday. A customer walks up to my station. He’s a big guy and looks like he could be a football player.)

Me: “Hello. How are you?”

(The customer doesn’t say anything and does not change facial expression. I’m a little unnerved, as this is not usual, but I press on.)

Me: “How can I help you?”

(He just tosses a sealed envelope onto the counter. I feel myself fill with fear. This guy is robbing me with a note. I stare at the envelope, not wanting to open it. The customer isn’t saying anything, just staring at me. I suddenly get really, really angry. I look at my stapler and debate just throwing it at his face. I quickly toss that idea aside and open the envelope. Inside is a deposit. I complete the deposit and hand the customer the slip. The customer never says a word, just stares at me the whole time. I feel shaky so I go tell my manager about it.)

Me: “He just scared me the whole time. His facial expression never changed, and he never said a word.”

Manager: “What was his name?”

Me: “[Customer].”

Manager: “Oh, he’s deaf. That’s why he didn’t say anything. He’s a regular at the main branch, but sometimes he stops in here.”

(Boy, was I glad I didn’t throw my stapler at him!)

(I’m a cashier. It’s the dead of winter so my skin is pretty pale.)

Customer: “You know, your make-up would look more natural if you didn’t use a foundation that was so light.”

Me: “I’m not wearing any make-up.”

Customer: “You’re lying. You’re just one of those goth girls or vampire fans.”

Me: *rolling up my sleeve so she can see that the rest of me is just as white* “Nope, I’m just super pale.”

Customer: “Oh, God, you’re not lying. That’s gross!”

(I didn’t really know how else to respond and honestly was kind of hurt so the rest of the transaction went by in mostly awkward silence. Also, I’m not an albino or anything so I don’t know why the customer thought this wasn’t my natural skin color.)