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When Funding Is Poultry

, , , | Right | August 4, 2010

Customer: “Hi, can I have the chicken salad without chicken?”

Me: “Uh, you mean a regular salad?”

Customer: “No. I want the chicken salad without the chicken.”

Me: “Ma’am, a chicken salad without the chicken is just a salad.”

Customer: *stares blankly* “What’s the difference?”

Me: “There’s no chicken.”

*customer stares blankly*

Me: “It’s cheaper?”

Customer: “Okay! I’ll have that!”


This story is part of the More-Extra-Stupid-Customers roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

23 Stories About Wine, And The Customers Who Shouldn’t Be Drinking It

 

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Read the More-Extra-Stupid-Customers roundup!

Piercing Observation

, , , , | Right | July 14, 2010

(I’m approached by what looks to be a teenager and a younger child.)

Teenager: “Hello. My daughter would like to get her belly button pierced.”

Me: “Did the man at the front check your ID?”

Teenager: “No.”

Me: “I’m going to have to.”

(I see that he is seventeen years old.)

Me: “Sir, this ID shows that you’re even younger than me. How old are you?”

Younger Child: “Eleven.”

Me: “So, she’s eleven?”

Teenager: “Yes.”

Me: “And you’re seventeen?”

Teenager: “Yes.”

Me: “So you had her when you were six?”

*long pause*

Younger Child: “I told you it wouldn’t work, dumba**!”


This story is part of our Fake ID roundup!

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Read the Fake ID roundup!


This story is part of our Customers Caught Lying roundup!

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Forgetting The Juicy Details

, , , , | Right | April 21, 2010

Me: “Thank you so much for calling [Company]. How may I help you today?”

Customer: “Hi! My phone is not working. I need you guys to send me a new one!”

Me: “Sure, I’ll be more than happy to assist you with that. First, I need to ask you some questions. Is your phone water damaged?”

Customer: “Not at all! I’m really careful with my phones.”

Me: “Okay, good. Ma’am, has the phone been dropped?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Then what happened to the phone, ma’am?”

Customer: “My little son dropped my phone on his apple juice.”

Me: “Ma’am, I asked you before if your phone was water damaged.”

Customer: “Well, you said water, not juice. It’s not the same, is it?”