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Reheat And Repeat

, , , , , , | Working | March 19, 2018

(There is a popular sushi restaurant five minutes down the street from my home. Every Friday after work I like to treat myself to dinner by ordering delivery. I order the same thing every week: steamed dumplings and a roll. Because the restaurant is so close to my home, the delivery is normally pretty quick, but not so tonight. I place the order, and they give me the regular 30- to 40-minute estimate — normally it comes in 15 — and I start to wait. Forty-five minutes later, I still haven’t received my order, so I call to check the status.)

Me: “Hello. I put in my order about 45 minutes ago and I haven’t received it. Can I check the status?”

Associate: *after checking with coworkers* “Yes, your order is on its way. Sorry for the delay; it has been a busy night.”

(I thank them and settle down again. After about 20 or 30 more minutes, I get antsy and call them back.)

Me: “Hi, my name is [My Name], and I made an order an hour ago. I called a while ago, and they said the order was on its way, but it’s still not here.”

Manager: “I’m sorry. The delivery is on its way. There were a few orders going out, so he is probably delivering those first.”

(At this point I’m a little peeved, but having worked customer service myself, I am sympathetic and don’t mind waiting. However, another 45 minutes pass, and at this point my stomach is rumbling, so I call them back again.)

Me: “Hello. I ordered my food almost two hours ago. I’ve called back multiple times and I’ve been told my food is on its way, but I haven’t received anything. I don’t know if I should just cancel the order?”

Manager: “I’m so sorry to hear that. I will contact the driver to see where he’s at and call you back.”

Me: “Okay.”

(I wait maybe five minutes with no call back, so I call the restaurant. Suddenly, the manager is not available. I’m deciding between going to the restaurant to pick up the food or just cancelling altogether when I finally get a call back.)

Manager: “I spoke to the driver and the food is delivered.”

Me: “I’m sorry. I do not have my order. No one has come by here all night.”

(At this point, I even check my front step to see if the driver just left it without knocking, but nothing is there.)

Manager: “Okay. I will see what happened.”

(Thankfully, at this point I get an almost immediate call back.)

Manager: “I am so sorry. He delivered it to the wrong house. We will make sure to get you your food right away!”

Me: “Thank you.”

(At this point I decided to just stick with it. I was super hungry, but I expected that they’d try to get my food out as quick as possible. However, only five minutes later, my doorbell rang. I thought this was way too fast but assumed that they were speeding to “please the customer.” I paid the delivery guy, tipped him the normal amount despite the fact that it had been over two hours since I made my order, and got ready to dig in. I opened the container and, to my horror, saw that the food was partially eaten and picked through! Instead of remaking my order, the delivery man went to the wrong address, got the food back from them, and delivered it! Grossed out, I had finally had enough. I re-packaged the food and drove down to the restaurant. I asked for the manager and showed him the partially-eaten food. He didn’t even apologize. If anything, he seemed annoyed that he had to continue dealing with me. He remade the food and gave me the new batch. I’m not normally one to feel entitled, but I was surprised he didn’t even offer to reimburse the delivery charge or give me a free appetizer. That was my first bad experience with that location, but I assume they must have been under new management, because it was the start of many experiences of bad service. I haven’t eaten there in years now.)

The Mother Of All Turn-Offs

, , , , | Friendly | February 28, 2018

(One of our male students is basically a nice guy, but has a bit of an ego problem, especially when it comes to girls. One afternoon this male student leaves class and goes out onto the quad. He notices an attractive young lady that he has not seen before. He starts talking to her, doing his best to turn on the charm. A few minutes later, a female student enters the quad and observes the male student for a moment.)

Female Student: “Hey, [Male Student], can I talk to you for a moment?”

Male Student: *approaches [Female Student], visibly irritated* “What do you want? Can’t you see I’m busy?”

Female Student: “Oh, I was just wondering why you were trying to pick up my mom.”

(I think [Male Student] got teased about that for the rest of the academic year.)

I Am Lawless

, , , , , | Friendly | November 10, 2017

(I started a new job as a receptionist at a local law firm about three months ago. I have had no experience in a law environment prior to this job, and my general understanding of law is that of the average individual. One evening after work, I meet up with a few friends for drinks. One of them starts talking about her ongoing issues with her ex-boyfriend.)

Friend: “[My Name], what do you think I should do?”

Me: “Honestly, I think you should have hired an attorney back when he stopped paying his child support. I imagine it will only get worse from here on out.”

Friend: “Yeah, but I can’t afford to hire an attorney. Isn’t there something I can do?”

Me: “I’m sure there is, but what that is, I cannot tell you.”

Friend: “Can’t or won’t?”

Me: *taken aback* “I mean that I do not know the answer.”

Friend: “But you work at a law firm!”

Me: “That doesn’t mean I instantly know anything more about law than you do.”

Friend: “But you’re smart. You’ve certainly picked something up by now?”

Me: “According to that logic, you should book your son’s next check up with someone who works in the maintenance department or the billing department at [Major Hospital].”

Friend: “That’s stupid, though. Why would you think they’d know anything about medicine?”

Everyone Else At The Table: “EXACTLY!”

Saved By Math

, , , , , | Right | September 27, 2017

(I am waiting for the receptionist to finish up with another customer before closing me out.)

Receptionist: “Your total bill is $2,720. You get 10% off, and then you paid an additional $1000, giving you a balance of $1,448. Please sign here for your receipt.”

Customer: “No, no, no, no. You did the math wrong. I’m not sure what you did, but you did it wrong.”

(The receptionist follows his bill line by line.)

Receptionist: “Sir, everything is detailed for you right here. I take the 10% off, and then-“

Customer: “That’s where you went wrong; take the 10% off after the $1000.”

Receptionist: “Sir, that would mean you have to pay more money.”

Customer: “This is why you’re a receptionist and not a mathematician. Do my bill correctly now.”

(The receptionist glances over at me with a defeated look.)

Me: “I’m a math teacher, and you did that absolutely right, but you should probably listen to him anyway.”

(She ended up billing him like he wanted to, and he lost out on some of his savings.)

Say Sayonara To Intelligence

, , , , , | Right | February 7, 2015

(I work at a Japanese restaurant and yes, I am Asian. There is a family of four sitting at a table.)

Me: “Good evening, everyone. Can I start you guys off with anything?”

Customer: “Where are you from?”

Me: “I am from Taiwan.”

Customer: “Oh, wow! My son is taking Japanese in school. Do you speak Japanese?”

Me: “No, I’m sorry.”

Customer: “That’s a shame. Can I have a California Roll?”


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