The Mother Of All Turn-Offs

, , , , | Friendly | February 28, 2018

(One of our male students is basically a nice guy, but has a bit of an ego problem, especially when it comes to girls. One afternoon this male student leaves class and goes out onto the quad. He notices an attractive young lady that he has not seen before. He starts talking to her, doing his best to turn on the charm. A few minutes later, a female student enters the quad and observes the male student for a moment.)

Female Student: “Hey, [Male Student], can I talk to you for a moment?”

Male Student: *approaches [Female Student], visibly irritated* “What do you want? Can’t you see I’m busy?”

Female Student: “Oh, I was just wondering why you were trying to pick up my mom.”

(I think [Male Student] got teased about that for the rest of the academic year.)

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I Am Lawless

, , , , , | Friendly | November 10, 2017

(I started a new job as a receptionist at a local law firm about three months ago. I have had no experience in a law environment prior to this job, and my general understanding of law is that of the average individual. One evening after work, I meet up with a few friends for drinks. One of them starts talking about her ongoing issues with her ex-boyfriend.)

Friend: “[My Name], what do you think I should do?”

Me: “Honestly, I think you should have hired an attorney back when he stopped paying his child support. I imagine it will only get worse from here on out.”

Friend: “Yeah, but I can’t afford to hire an attorney. Isn’t there something I can do?”

Me: “I’m sure there is, but what that is, I cannot tell you.”

Friend: “Can’t or won’t?”

Me: *taken aback* “I mean that I do not know the answer.”

Friend: “But you work at a law firm!”

Me: “That doesn’t mean I instantly know anything more about law than you do.”

Friend: “But you’re smart. You’ve certainly picked something up by now?”

Me: “According to that logic, you should book your son’s next check up with someone who works in the maintenance department or the billing department at [Major Hospital].”

Friend: “That’s stupid, though. Why would you think they’d know anything about medicine?”

Everyone Else At The Table: “EXACTLY!”

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Saved By Math

, , , , , | Right | September 27, 2017

(I am waiting for the receptionist to finish up with another customer before closing me out.)

Receptionist: “Your total bill is $2,720. You get 10% off, and then you paid an additional $1000, giving you a balance of $1,448. Please sign here for your receipt.”

Customer: “No, no, no, no. You did the math wrong. I’m not sure what you did, but you did it wrong.”

(The receptionist follows his bill line by line.)

Receptionist: “Sir, everything is detailed for you right here. I take the 10% off, and then-“

Customer: “That’s where you went wrong; take the 10% off after the $1000.”

Receptionist: “Sir, that would mean you have to pay more money.”

Customer: “This is why you’re a receptionist and not a mathematician. Do my bill correctly now.”

(The receptionist glances over at me with a defeated look.)

Me: “I’m a math teacher, and you did that absolutely right, but you should probably listen to him anyway.”

(She ended up billing him like he wanted to, and he lost out on some of his savings.)

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Say Sayonara To Intelligence

, , , , , | Right | February 7, 2015

(I work at a Japanese restaurant and yes, I am Asian. There is a family of four sitting at a table.)

Me: “Good evening, everyone. Can I start you guys off with anything?”

Customer: “Where are you from?”

Me: “I am from Taiwan.”

Customer: “Oh, wow! My son is taking Japanese in school. Do you speak Japanese?”

Me: “No, I’m sorry.”

Customer: “That’s a shame. Can I have a California Roll?”


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Like Getting Blood From A Stone

, , , , | Right | February 21, 2014

(My friend and I are walking into a store with a blood drive van parked upfront.)

Recruiter: “Hi! Would you like to donate blood? It could save a life!”

Friend: “Sorry. I don’t believe in helping others.”


This story is part of our Customers Who Dislike Charity roundup!

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