The Birds And The Bees And The Bathroom Employees

, , , , , , , , | Hopeless | September 21, 2018

I come from a very religious family. As such, I was never given any formal sex-ed talk.

I was 12 and I was at the mall by myself. I went into the washroom and found blood in my underwear. I completely panicked and ran into the closest store.

In this store, there was one female worker, but the rest of the store was empty. In tears, I begged her to call my family to come get me because clearly I was dying.

The woman calmed me down and gave me an adhesive pad. After explaining what it was and how to use it, she let me use the staff-only washroom in the back. She then gave me the whole sex talk my parents and my religious school had failed to tell me. She only told me because I was so freaked out and confused. I don’t think she knew I was religious; she just thought I was super innocent and my parents didn’t tell me s***.

I never told my parents what this employee said. My parents acted like my period was shameful and discouraged any discussion about it, besides saving sex for marriage, when I went home that night. Before I went to bed, my mom handed me a package of pads and a book about Virgin Mary. She didn’t explain how to use them, the difference between wings and no wings, etc., like the woman in the store had. I would’ve been so overwhelmed if it weren’t for that woman.

The following year, I was taught about how abstinence is the best birth control, but nothing like what that employee taught me. I had to be the one to teach my friends about their own bodies, and I am so grateful for what that employee did. I have friends who are in their early 20s just learning what I learned when I was 12.

This woman saved my teen years.

1 Thumbs
939

Tailgate Meet Their Tail-Fate

, , , , , , , | Legal | September 2, 2018

I’m driving home from work after a closing shift one evening. It’s 11:30 pm and traffic is extremely light on my highway, with only two other cars maybe 100 yards ahead of me. For some reason, one of the cars begins to tailgate the other. There is no traffic, and they are both in the slow lane going a reasonable speed. The tailgater could easily just pass, but no. He just starts inching closer and closer to the other car until he’s practically on his bumper. I actually slow down to put some more distance between their car and mine because I think it might cause an accident, he’s so ridiculously close.

After a full minute and a half of this, the tailgater finally decides to whip around the other car. Then, a siren comes on.

It turns out, the “slow” car was actually an undercover cop, who of course immediately pulled the tailgater over. I kept driving obviously, a happy witness to instant justice.

1 Thumbs
687

Dressed In Neighborly Spirit

, , , , , , , | Hopeless | May 31, 2018

After living in the same suburban city in Georgia for over 25 years, I find myself relocating to Miami, Florida, for my husband’s new job. We don’t have much time to look for a place to live, so we choose an affordable apartment close to his job.

We move into a second-floor apartment in a six-story building, knowing nothing about the neighborhood. Shortly after moving in I hear the fire alarm. I go outside to discover smoke pouring from one of the sixth-floor apartments. One of the neighbors is a teenage girl, who is absolutely hysterical. She accidentally started the fire when she forgot about a pot of food she had left on the stove. She panicked and ran out of the apartment, forgetting that her father was still inside napping.

As some of the neighbors are trying to calm the girl, the father, who is a very tall, very large man, emerges from the building, a bit dazed, but unharmed. Unfortunately, he is still wearing the clothes he was napping in: a t-shirt and boxer shorts.

While my neighbors and I are waiting for the fire department to tend to the fire — the apartment is a complete loss — my next-door neighbor, who is also a very tall, very large man, comes home. He speaks to his wife, who fills him in on the situation. My next-door neighbor sees the sixth-floor dad, and then goes to his car and retrieves several shopping bags from a clothing store. He hands him the shopping bags, saying, “Here. These are for you.”

The sixth-floor dad protests that he can’t take his new clothes. The next door neighbour makes the obvious statement that he needs them more right now.

And that is how I learned what kind of neighbors I had.

1 Thumbs
589

Reheat And Repeat

, , , , , , | Working | March 19, 2018

(There is a popular sushi restaurant five minutes down the street from my home. Every Friday after work I like to treat myself to dinner by ordering delivery. I order the same thing every week: steamed dumplings and a roll. Because the restaurant is so close to my home, the delivery is normally pretty quick, but not so tonight. I place the order, and they give me the regular 30- to 40-minute estimate — normally it comes in 15 — and I start to wait. Forty-five minutes later, I still haven’t received my order, so I call to check the status.)

Me: “Hello. I put in my order about 45 minutes ago and I haven’t received it. Can I check the status?”

Associate: *after checking with coworkers* “Yes, your order is on its way. Sorry for the delay; it has been a busy night.”

(I thank them and settle down again. After about 20 or 30 more minutes, I get antsy and call them back.)

Me: “Hi, my name is [My Name], and I made an order an hour ago. I called a while ago, and they said the order was on its way, but it’s still not here.”

Manager: “I’m sorry. The delivery is on its way. There were a few orders going out, so he is probably delivering those first.”

(At this point I’m a little peeved, but having worked customer service myself, I am sympathetic and don’t mind waiting. However, another 45 minutes pass, and at this point my stomach is rumbling, so I call them back again.)

Me: “Hello. I ordered my food almost two hours ago. I’ve called back multiple times and I’ve been told my food is on its way, but I haven’t received anything. I don’t know if I should just cancel the order?”

Manager: “I’m so sorry to hear that. I will contact the driver to see where he’s at and call you back.”

Me: “Okay.”

(I wait maybe five minutes with no call back, so I call the restaurant. Suddenly, the manager is not available. I’m deciding between going to the restaurant to pick up the food or just cancelling altogether when I finally get a call back.)

Manager: “I spoke to the driver and the food is delivered.”

Me: “I’m sorry. I do not have my order. No one has come by here all night.”

(At this point, I even check my front step to see if the driver just left it without knocking, but nothing is there.)

Manager: “Okay. I will see what happened.”

(Thankfully, at this point I get an almost immediate call back.)

Manager: “I am so sorry. He delivered it to the wrong house. We will make sure to get you your food right away!”

Me: “Thank you.”

(At this point I decided to just stick with it. I was super hungry, but I expected that they’d try to get my food out as quick as possible. However, only five minutes later, my doorbell rang. I thought this was way too fast but assumed that they were speeding to “please the customer.” I paid the delivery guy, tipped him the normal amount despite the fact that it had been over two hours since I made my order, and got ready to dig in. I opened the container and, to my horror, saw that the food was partially eaten and picked through! Instead of remaking my order, the delivery man went to the wrong address, got the food back from them, and delivered it! Grossed out, I had finally had enough. I re-packaged the food and drove down to the restaurant. I asked for the manager and showed him the partially-eaten food. He didn’t even apologize. If anything, he seemed annoyed that he had to continue dealing with me. He remade the food and gave me the new batch. I’m not normally one to feel entitled, but I was surprised he didn’t even offer to reimburse the delivery charge or give me a free appetizer. That was my first bad experience with that location, but I assume they must have been under new management, because it was the start of many experiences of bad service. I haven’t eaten there in years now.)

1 Thumbs
576

The Mother Of All Turn-Offs

, , , , | Friendly | February 28, 2018

(One of our male students is basically a nice guy, but has a bit of an ego problem, especially when it comes to girls. One afternoon this male student leaves class and goes out onto the quad. He notices an attractive young lady that he has not seen before. He starts talking to her, doing his best to turn on the charm. A few minutes later, a female student enters the quad and observes the male student for a moment.)

Female Student: “Hey, [Male Student], can I talk to you for a moment?”

Male Student: *approaches [Female Student], visibly irritated* “What do you want? Can’t you see I’m busy?”

Female Student: “Oh, I was just wondering why you were trying to pick up my mom.”

(I think [Male Student] got teased about that for the rest of the academic year.)

1 Thumbs
596