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Tourists Don’t Change

, , , , | Right | August 26, 2019

(I’m at an ice cream shop, next in line to get my order. The customer before me has just paid for his ice cream and the employee hands him his change. She gives him a roll of coins with his receipt. He stares at her blankly.)

Employee: “Is there a problem, sir?”

Customer: “What is this?”

Employee: “Your change, sir.”

Customer: “My change? I gave you a bill and you give me this thing? What is this?”

Employee: *takes the roll of coins* “I can unwrap it if you like sir; there are 25 pesos here.” *starts to unwrap the coins*

Customer: “No, no, no! I just don’t understand! I gave you a 100-peso bill and you gave me this thing! What is this?!”

Employee: “Sir? It’s… your change; they’re coins…”

Customer: “Forget it! Just give me my bill back. I don’t want anything. I don’t understand! Why are you doing this to me?!”

Harassment Meets Dismemberment

, , , , , , , | Working | August 24, 2019

My best female friend is a waitress at a small restaurant. Just another waiter and the owners man the kitchen. My friend is very obviously of Asian descent and her coworker has been harassing her, telling her that he has never slept with an Asian girl and that he wants her to be his first. My friend repeatedly reports him to the owner, but he just tells her that she can live with it.

I’m at her restaurant waiting for her to finish her shift when her coworker makes yet another inappropriate comment. My friend, red with anger, approaches him and hits him as hard as she can in the groin. The guy is in so much pain he can’t breathe, and my friend grabs his hair and pulls him towards her and says, “If you ever talk to me like that again, I will make sure you’ll leave no kids behind.”

By this moment, one of the owners has come out to see what’s going on, and quickly realises what happened. He shouts at my friend that she can’t do that, and that her coworker is in so much pain he can’t even breathe. Her answer? “If I can live with his harassment, he can live with the pain.”

A Half-Hour Of Kindness Goes A Long Way

, , , , | Hopeless | May 11, 2019

In the video game store where I work, I have a couple of regular costumers that come once or twice a week: a mother and her son, about seven years old. I especially know them because they always ask for Lego games and the mom plays with her son… and they are fairly good, too.

Our store also has a special promotion with the receipts; for every hour you play, we put a seal on your receipt and when you get ten seals total, you get a free hour.

The mom and child couple have gathered the ten seals and ask for their game, though the kid’s mom tells me they have something important to do and to tell her in half an hour so they can go. She assumes once that half an hour is done and they leave, that means she can’t redeem the rest of the promotion.

I tell her to not worry; she can return when she’s done and she can play the half-hour she has left. She seems pretty happy about this.

So, they leave after the first half-hour and they return later in the day. As I promised, I’m honoring her deal and giving her the half-hour she missed. To my surprise, she’s come with a cup of coffee she gives me as thanks. It’s been a really cold day, so it really hits the spot. It was a simple gesture, but really made my day.

The Cake Is Bittersweet

, , , , , , , | Friendly | May 10, 2019

I work at a restaurant that offers those “singing and cake” extras for birthdays. One day, I am approached by two teenage boys who pay for the birthday special for their female friend. I’m thinking, “Aw, that’s cute!”

We make the cake and we go sing “Happy Birthday” to their table… and it quickly becomes obvious that the girl is not into it. She’s death-glaring at the boys so hard I’m surprised they don’t burst into flames. They giggle the entire time. When it’s time to blow out the candle, she puts it out between her index and thumb, then smashes the cake against the face of the boy closest to her.

Turns out, she hated this kind of stuff and they got it anyway, just to mess with her. Good times.

A Very Informal Education

, , , , | Learning | April 30, 2019

(I teach at a bilingual school in Mexico. One day the English staff gets this notice:)

Notice: “Parents will be visiting campus on Friday. Please remember to wear pants.”

(As it turns out, they were reminding us not to wear jeans.)