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Taking Action On The Distraction

, , | Right | May 26, 2014

(I’m the customer in this story. I’ve come to the mall and on the way out I visit a stall that makes crêpes.)

Me: “Yeah, I’d like a ham with manchego one, please.”

Worker: *Inputs the order in the computer* “Would you like chipotle or jalapeño, sir?”

(I’ve wandered into my own thoughts and don’t listen.)

Worker: “Sir?”

Me: *snapping back* “Uh?”

Worker: “Chipotle or jalapeño, sir?”

Me: “Yes.”

(The worker stares at me awkwardly and then I realize what I just said.)

Me: “Sorry, sorry! Chipotle, please.”

(The rest of the transaction goes without any trouble and then they proceed to make the crêpe.)

Worker: “You tell me how much chipotle do you want, sir.”

(I look at her dabbing a little of the stuff and then adding more and more.)

Worker: “Uh… are you distracted again?”

Me: “Not this time. I just like it spicy.”

Can’t Bear To Be Apart

, , , , | Related | July 31, 2013

(My dad uses some connections to reserve us an island to camp on in the Gulf of Mexico. The island is tiny, and we are the only people camping there. The largest animal on the island is probably a rabbit. I am eight, and my brother is three. The week we are there, low tide is around 11:00 pm, and my parents leave to go and look for shells. I’ve never been very good at sleeping, so I decide to follow after them. Eventually, they run into me on the beach.)

Dad: “[My Name], is that you?”

Me: “Yes, Daddy!”

Dad: “Do you know what time it is?”

Me: “Dark.”

Dad: “Yes. Why aren’t you asleep in the tent?”

Me: “There’s a bear attacking the tent. It scared me.”

Dad: “Baby, there aren’t any bears on the island. Why do you think there’s a bear attacking the tent?”

Me: “I heard it. It growled and banged on the wall.”

Mom: “Where’s your baby brother?

Me: “He was asleep already. I left him for the bear to eat.”


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Double The Pictures, Half The Brain

, , , | Right | April 10, 2010

(I am giving information about documents students need to bring to their university interview.)

Me: “We’ll need you to bring your birth certificate, an ID, your high school diploma, and eight black and white photos for your file.”

Customer: “Eight photos? How?”

Me: “Yes, eight black and white photos.”

Customer: “You mean four black and four white?”


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