Customer: “My mother is taking some medication and it is making her sick. Can you stop giving it to her?”
Me: “I’ll have to ask the pharmacist for you. What medication is it?”
Customer: “It’s a little white pill.”
Me: “You don’t know the name of it, sir? We do have many white pills in the pharmacy.”
Customer: “I think it’s for her heart… or her brain.”
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(I work at a drugstore where the pharmacy closes a few hours sooner than the rest of the store. A customer bursts in holding a script from a doctor’s office, and yells at me from across the store.)
Customer: “OH, NO! WHEN DOES THE PHARMACY CLOSE?!”
Me: *glances at the clock which reads 8:30 pm* “Six. Sorry.”
Customer: “Oh no. Oh, God! What do I do?!”
Me: “The pharmacy opens at nine in the morning, and closes at six, again. You can come back then and–”
Customer: “Is there a number I can call?! There has to be, for this sort of thing?”
Me: “No. I’m sorry. If you just–”
Customer: “But what does this town do in case of an emergency?!”
Me: “…we go to the hospital, ma’am.”
Customer: “The hospital? Thank you!” *leaves still clutching script tightly*
Caller: “Hi, do you have any doctors that prescribe detox drugs?”
Me: “No, we don’t provide that service.”
Caller: “How do you know? You have lots of doctors. How do you know?!”
Me: “We don’t specialize in addiction treatment. Our doctors aren’t that type of practitioner.”
Caller: “Why?! What if I need them to be?”
Me: “Well, then you would have to call another office.”
Caller: “What kind of doctors don’t prescribe detox meds?!”
Me: “Pediatricians…”
Caller: “Oh!” *hangs up phone*
(A customer comes in with a prescription for a narcotic pain reliever. He says that he was at the hospital with his wife and the hospital stole his pills, which is why he needs to get this prescription filled, even though his last prescription was just filled a few days ago.)
Me: “Okay, sir, I talked to your doctor and he says I can fill your prescription.”
Customer: “Great, can I wait? I have no pills left and I really need it.”
Me: “It’ll be about ten minutes.”
(Ten minutes later.)
Me: “OK sir, your prescription is ready.”
Customer: “Hey, are those pills the same as this?” *holds up pill*
Me: “I thought you didn’t have any pills left, sir.”
Customer: “Well… I bought this off the street, to be honest with you.”
Me: “Oh… good.”
(A man is picking up a prescription for his infant child.)
Customer: “How much did you say the prescription was?”
Me: “$49.99.”
Customer: “What’s the difference between this and what I can get over the counter?”
Me: “There’s no cough medicine you can give your eight-month-old, sir, other than this.”
Customer: “Well, what’s in it?”
(He picks up the prescription papers and starts rustling through them.)
Customer: “If I can buy everything that’s in it over the counter, I’ll just make it myself.”
Me: “…excuse me?”
This story is part of our Even More Dangerous Parent’s roundup!
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