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Seven And A Half, Apparently

, , , , | Healthy | April 1, 2021

I work for a dermatology office that is temporarily renting an office inside a cardiology company, and we even share a waiting room with one of their doctors. I’m used to their patients coming to my window, but most notice the signs around the window that notify everyone we are a dermatology office. I’m still baffled how this lady didn’t get the clue.

She comes up and taps on the glass, right on the sign that says, “Please Do Not Tap On Glass.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am?”

Lady: “I don’t understand some of this wording.”

She places a clipboard with cardiology new patient forms on it in front of me. 

Me: “Oh, I don’t—”

Lady: “What’s a triple bypass?”

Me: “You should probably—”

Lady: “Do I need to mark any surgeries, too? I haven’t had any. What do I mark here?”

Me: “I don’t know. I work for the derm—”

Lady: “How many of these do I need to mark here?”

Me: “I don’t know. This is—”

Lady: “And what is hypertension?”

Me: “High blood pressure. And this is the wrong office.”

Lady: “How do I know if I have high blood pressure?”

Me: “I think you need to ask the other window over there.”

Lady: “What’s a PCP?”

Me: *Sighs* “I don’t know.”

I do but I’m tired of being ignored.

Lady: “What about tachybradia?”

Me: “I don’t know.”

Lady: “How do I find out if I had a tachybradia?”

Me: “I don’t know. This is [Doctor’s] office. Not cardiology.”

Lady: “Am I going to get a stress test today?”

Me: “I don’t know. This isn’t cardiology.”

Lady: “If I get a stress test, do I need my husband to do anything for me?”

Me: “I don’t know. This isn’t cardiology.”

Lady: “Why don’t you know anything?”

Me: “Because this isn’t the cardiology office.”

I point to the specialty sign for our office right in front of her. 

Lady: “Oh. I need to use the restroom. Let me in.”

Me: “Sure. Go to the second door and I’ll let you through.”

She walks over to the actual cardiology window instead so they can buzz her through. Since she forgot her paperwork, I carry it over to their window and explain that she has some questions.

Cardiology: “Yeah, we heard her from over here. You had more patience than we would have. How many times did she need to hear, ‘I don’t know,’ before she got a clue?”

Someone Needs Some Coffee (Hold The Sugar)

, , , , | Healthy | March 28, 2021

At my medical office, we sometimes loan out glucose meters to new diabetic patients. They come with all the supplies and an instruction sheet, and I’m always careful to point out the “Error Messages” section: a series of codes that indicate problems like low battery, not enough specimen on the strip, etc. They then call in after the first few days of checking.

A patient calls in to report her blood sugar numbers.

Patient: “The first morning, when I woke up, it was 103.”

Me: “Okay, that sounds okay.”

Patient: “And then, after breakfast, it was 103.”

Me: “Huh, okay.”

Patient: “And then, after lunch, it was 103.”

Me: “Ma’am, were all your blood sugars 103?”

Patient: “Yes! I thought that was kind of odd, but that’s what it said.”

Me: “Can you turn the monitor on? Does it still say the same thing?”

Patient: “Yes, that’s all it’s ever said.”

Me: “Can you rotate it so it’s upside down?”

Patient:Ohhhhhh, could it be E01? I wondered why the [Brand] was upside down!”

After a new battery, all was well.

We Now Return You To Your Regularly Scheduled Harassment

, , , , , | Working | March 25, 2021

I work as an IT contractor and have some pretty crappy insurance. I have a couple of thyroid issues for which I have frequent appointments, and I have to get a decent amount of bloodwork done before every appointment. My insurance doesn’t cover it. That means that I generally have a decent balance with the place where I get the bloodwork done.

I always pay more than the “recommended” minimum, but I never schedule recurring payments because I get paid kind of fluidly. Apparently, though, that doesn’t sit well with the place. I get really frustrated with them because they also never like to leave voicemails with any information; it is always, “This is [Location] customer service. Please call [Location].” So, one day, I call them.

Representative #1: “Thank you for calling [Location]. How can I help you today?”

Me: “I have no idea. I’ve gotten about five voicemails from you guys that just say to call.”

Representative #1: “Oh, well, we had to call for some reason. Do you know what this is about?”

Me: “No.”

Representative #1: “Let me look up your account.”

I provide her with the account information and she finally finds my account.

Representative #1: “Oh! Well, I show that you have a balance of [balance].”

Me: “Sounds about right.”

Representative #1: “Okay, would you like to pay that off now?”

Me: “Uh, no. I’m paying monthly.”

Representative #1: “Oh. Well, can we get you set up on a recurring payment?”

Me: “No.”

The representative hesitates; I’m pretty sure I’ve shocked her.

Representative #1: “Well, are you sure? It’s one less thing to worry about.”

Me: “Yes, I’m sure. I can’t set up a recurring payment right now.”

Representative #1: “Are you sure? I show that you’re paying around the same time every month; we could just pick a day in the middle of that.”

Me: “I’m still sure. I don’t want to set up a recurring payment.”

Representative #1: “But… I can assist you; it’s really simple.”

Me: “No, thank you.”

Representative #1: *Hesitates again* “Are you sure?”

Me: “Yes.”

Representative #1: “Okay, I’ll make a note in your file. Have a good day!”

The call ends. You would think this would be the end of it, but no. I start getting these calls a couple of times a month. I go through the same conversation with them every time, with the promise that a note is going to be added to my file. Then, one day, I’m just done.

Representative #2: “Thank you for calling [Location]. How can I help you today?”

Me: “Yeah, I keep getting calls asking me to set up recurring payments, which I can’t do.”

Representative #2: “Well, let me look at your account.”

She for a minute as she gets my info.

Representative #2: “Yes, I show that you have a balance and no recurring payment. Let’s get that scheduled for you.”

Me: “No.”

Representative #2: “Wha… Um, well, I can set it up; it’s really easy to get scheduled.”

Me: “No. I don’t want to set up recurring payments right now. I’ve had this conversation multiple times and keep getting told that you’re going to put a note in my file. This is borderline harassment.”

Representative #2: “Oh, no! No, this isn’t that! We just don’t want you to get sent to collections, so if I could schedule the recurring payment, that would make sure your account wouldn’t get sent over.”

Me: “Well, you’re getting paid every month, so I don’t know why it would go to collections.”

Representative #2: “I show that you’re paying around the same time every month. Do you want to choose one of those dates for the recurring payment?”

Me: “No. Look. I’m a contractor so I’m never 100% sure what I’m going to get paid or when. I’m paying more than the recommended minimum every month, so I don’t know why there’s a fear of it getting sent to collections.”

Representative #2: “Do you have a credit card? We can schedule it on that.”

Me: “I’m not scheduling a recurring payment.”

Representative #2: “Are… are you sure?”

Me: “Yes.”

Representative #2: “Okay, I’ll make a note on your account. Have a nice day!”

To be honest, I don’t think the note ever got added. It got to a point where I flat-out told one of the representatives that any and all communication going forward needed to be in writing and I was not going to respond to phone calls anymore. I had two more calls and I had to threaten action if my number didn’t get removed from the system. I ended up using most of my tax return from that year to pay off the balance just to get them to leave me alone.

I will admit that during this period, I transferred to a full-time position and probably could have easily scheduled the recurring payment, but by that point, it was the principle of the thing. And I started paying it randomly throughout the month because they’d annoyed me so much. I still don’t understand their thought process. If it was a matter of me having skipped some payments, then I could see collections being brought into things. But they were getting paid every month, so why the h*** did it matter if I was doing it on the same day or not?

The Squeaky Migraine Gets The Grease

, , , , , , | Healthy | March 25, 2021

Despite the fact that I’m at very high risk of death from a certain health-crisis-related illness, I’m unable to get a vaccine since my state has not prioritized people like me. I complain about this to anyone who brings it up.

Upon the third day of waking up with a migraine, I go to urgent care where there is also a vaccine site. For their records, they ask if I’ve gotten the vaccine yet. I proceed with my usual rant about it even though I feel terrible. After two different injections for the migraine, I finally feel better and go home. 

That afternoon the physician’s assistant I saw earlier calls me. The vaccine clinic has extra doses and she offers to hold one for me if I can be there in half an hour. Of course, I say yes and race back there. 

And that’s the story of my two visits to urgent care in one day, three shots, a very nice and caring PA, and the only time I’ve ever been happy to have a three-day migraine.

Why Do We Even Have Those Things?

, , , , | Healthy | March 22, 2021

I am the author of this story. I have another story that involves my sweet-tempered and loving son. We are at the doctor’s office. My son has a condition where the usual treatment is penicillin, which he is highly allergic to. The doctor comes in, asks some questions, and then walks out to get some medicine and a needle.

The doctor walks back in, grabs an alcohol wipe, and starts swabbing my son with it, and then she starts to edge the needle close to him. 

Son: “Um, what is that?”

Doctor: “Oh, it’s just penicillin. Nothing to worry about.”

My son pulls his arm away, and I am instantly ticked.

Me: “He can’t have penicillin! He’s allergic!”

Doctor: “Well, sorry! How was I supposed to know?”

Son: “It’s on my chart!”

Doctor: “It’s not my job to look at that!”

Me: “What the f*** is your job, then?!”

Our shouting brought another doctor into the room, and when he heard the story, he told the first doctor to wait in his office. He gave my son a different treatment option, which we took. We switched to him shortly after, and now that previous doctor glares at us every time we go there!

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