What A Diabeetus, Part 8

, , , , | Right | August 5, 2019

(I have just moved from California to Oregon and need to get a new prescription for my asthma medication. I go to a doctor in my new city. I’m a new patient, so of course, he takes a bit of time with me going over all my stuff. Then, this exchange takes place. Note: I am an overweight guy, but not extremely.)

Doctor: “How long have you had diabetes?”

Me: “I don’t.”

Doctor: “Of course, you do; you are overweight. I’m going to write you a prescription for that. How long have you had high blood pressure?”

Me: “Was my blood pressure high when the nurse took it? I thought it was normal.”

Doctor: “It was normal, but I’m pretty sure you have high blood pressure, so I’m going to write you a prescription for that. I’m also going to write you a prescription for high cholesterol and one to help you lose weight.”

Me: “How do you know I have high cholesterol if you haven’t taken blood?”

Doctor: “I’m sure you do.”

Me: “What about my asthma medication?”

Doctor: “Oh, I’ll give you that, too.”

(I ended up leaving with the one prescription I needed, and four I didn’t ask for. I never went to him again. I found a better doctor who ran all my blood work and looked me over and said I didn’t need any of that, and that the weight loss drug had just been pulled off the market for causing heart issues.)

What A Diabeetus, Part 7
What A Diabeetus, Part 6
What A Diabeetus, Part 5

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Being A Jerk Is Not A Disability

, , , | Friendly | August 2, 2019

I own an alternative health clinic — massage and acupuncture — in a small strip mall. We have “parking wars” due to a yoga studio in the mall. Everyone has three designated parking spots, except the studio, who has six. They actually have two bays; hence, a bigger space. My spots are reserved 24 hours to prevent yoga patrons parking there, especially on Saturdays, but the other stores allow the yoga people to park there if they are closed. We ticket almost daily, as when yoga patrons come there are usually twenty of them trying to fit into six spots, and often the yoga instructor takes a spot, even though they are supposed to park two blocks away like the rest of us. Often I come in early on Saturdays to defend our parking spots or our patrons have nowhere to park. I will also mention that the yoga patrons are often rude and dismissive when we politely ask them to move their cars. If they don’t move them, they get a $40 ticket. 

On this particular Saturday, I had to drop something off at the office and then went to park my car two blocks away. The lot was full, except for my parking spots. I noticed someone parking in the handicapped spot. I’d seen this man before and he’d never parked there before. I am well aware of invisible disabilities, but I was very suspicious.

I pulled up beside him and asked, “Do you have a plaque to park there?” Quite rudely, he responded, “Yes.”

I drove away and parked. When I came back to the office, I noticed there was no plaque displayed in his car. I had my assistant confirm that there was no displayed disability plaque or plates.  

I immediately called parking and the man received a $300 ticket. It would have upset me less if he had parked in my spots, and if he can go to a 90-minute yoga class, he can also walk two blocks in the middle of summer to the class.

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Just Go And Sleep It Off

, , , , , , | Healthy | August 1, 2019

(I’ve had problems sleeping most of my life. I’ve mentioned this to doctors before, but I have always been told it is stress and/or that I’ll grow out of it by the time I am 20. I finally go to a new doctor at age 23 to try to get a sleep study to find out if there’s an underlying issue, and I decide before going in that I am not taking no for an answer, collecting everything I can to back my case up. This is my exchange with the doctor.)

Me: “I’ve hardly had what constitutes a ‘good night’s sleep’ in ten years. It takes me two hours to fall asleep at night, regardless of what time I go to sleep, but during the daytime, I can fall asleep within minutes.”

Doctor: “Well, maybe if you didn’t take naps, you wouldn’t have a problem. Why don’t you try that?”

Me: “I have, actually. I’ve done tests on myself using a sleep tracking app and trying two-month test periods of going all day every day without a nap, and then again taking a thirty-minute nap each day. There’s next to no change in the nighttime data, and my self-rating of how I feel after I wake up is the same, too. I’ve repeated this for the past year with variables like listening to music and using a weighted blanket with the same results.”

(I show him the graphs I’ve made from my data.)

Me: “Not to mention, I hardly spend any time in deep sleep. It’s all light.”

Doctor: “Well, sleep tracking apps can be very unreliable. You shouldn’t trust it just because it’s on your phone. Even though it says you’re in light sleep, you might be getting deep sleep.”

Me: “I know it’s not 100% accurate, but it still shows approximately when I fall asleep, and it’s never less an hour and a half, and that’s on my best nights.”

Doctor: “That’s normal! You’ll grow out of it!”

Me: “But when? I can’t wait until my 30s to ‘grow out of it.’ It’s affecting both my work and home lives. I can barely get any housework done on the weekends or after work because I’m too tired, I sleep through holidays with my family, and I have to call into work at least once a month due to exhaustion. Just last week, I was pulled over because a cop saw me nodding off at a red light.”

Doctor: “Just get some melatonin and you’ll fall asleep in no time. And if that doesn’t work, try valerian!”

Me: “I have. Both of them. There’s no effect on how long it takes me to get to sleep or how I feel when I wake up. If anything, I feel worse in the mornings after I take them. I really think I need a sleep study to figure out if there’s something wrong with me. I’ve literally broken down crying because I was so tired before.”

Doctor: “Are you sure it isn’t just PMS?”

(We go back and forth like this for almost fifteen minutes, him suggesting ideas and me telling him I’ve already done it and recorded my data — all of which I’ve already mentioned to the nurse and on my new patient forms. I’m growing frustrated and, thanks in part to the continuing exhaustion, nearly start crying again under his line of questioning. Finally, I’ve had enough.)

Me: “I am not leaving this office until you set me up with a neurologist for a sleep study. I have a family history of sleep apnea, and I need answers.”

Doctor: “So, you want drugs, that’s it. You’re too young and skinny to have sleep apnea.”

Me: “What? Sleep studies don’t even involve drugs! I am literally getting less than five hours of sleep a night; that should be reason enough for me to get a sleep study right there!”

Doctor: “I don’t work with people hunting for drugs.”

Me: “And I don’t work with f****** crackpots who don’t listen to their patients!”

(I stormed out without paying and reported him to my insurance, and I have an appointment with a new doctor this Friday. Hopefully, this one will actually listen to me.)

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Prejudice Is In Her Blood

, , , , | Healthy | July 29, 2019

(I just found out that my fiancé of five years has been cheating on me for three of those years. To be safe, I make an appointment to have a full STI panel done. The only appointment I can get is with the physician’s assistant and not my usual doctor.)

PA: “Okay, dear, I’m just going to give you the swab and let you take the sample.” 

Me: “You aren’t going to do it? I don’t know what to do.”

(She explains how to take a culture and leaves the room to give me privacy. When I finish, she collects the swab and begins to leave again.)

PA: “Okay, we should get results in about a week and we’ll call you.”

Me: “Aren’t you going to take my blood, as well, for HIV and syphilis testing?”

PA: *laughs* “Oh, you only have to worry about that if you’re gay.”

Me: “You know what, I’ll just go and make an appointment with the actual doctor.” 

(That was the second issue I had with her, and the last time I ever saw her working there.)

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Very Loud Irony

, , , , , | Working | July 26, 2019

(I work for a hearing aid clinic. We are training a new person to answer phones and book appointments for hearing tests. We have given him a list of questions to ensure the correct length and type of appointment is booked. He’s been working for a few weeks now and takes a phone call.)

New Coworker: “Thank you for calling. How may I help you?”

(A few of us are working in the area and suddenly realize the answer he got made him raise his voice in reply.)

New Coworker: *shouting* “HAVE YOU HAD A HEARING TEST BEFORE?”

(This is followed by a few other shouted but relevant questions pertaining to the patient’s obvious hearing loss. The new coworker is following the question list provided and right on cue, asks:)


(The laughter was instant from all my coworkers. A few had to move into an empty office so as not to distract him.)

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