Try To Keep Pace With The Questions

| NSW, Australia | Health & Body, Technology

(I work as a receptionist for a radiology practice, and we need to go through a list of safety questions before a patient can go in for their scan. An old woman and her daughter/carer walk in.)

Daughter: “Hello, my mother has an appointment today.”

Me: “No problem. First I need to go through a list of implants or devices she may have in her body, and I just need a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answer to whether she has them.”

Daughter: “No, no, no! My mother doesn’t have anything! She’s just as God made her!”

Me: “Ma’am, this is protocol. It’s important to ask each question…”

Daughter: “Don’t bother; the answer is “no” to everything.”

Me: “Okayyy…” *notes this down on form*

Patient: “Well, I do have a pacemaker. Will that be a problem?”

(She was about to get an MRI. That could kill a patient!)

‘X’ Marks The Stupid

, | NY, USA | Extra Stupid

(I work as part of the front desk staff at a medical office. In order to treat patients they must first sign consent forms, which can vary based on what procedure one is getting. Our standard forms have all the options and we mark where the patient must sign/initial with a red “X” to make it very clear, as well as informing the patient to sign anywhere they see these red “X”s.)

Patient: “Do I have to sign all of these?”

Me: “No, only where there’s a red ‘X.’”

Patient: “So all of these?”

Me: “No, there are only two red ‘X’s there. That’s where you sign.”

Patient: “So I don’t have to sign all of the other ones?”

Me: “No… Only where it’s indicated.”

(After returning the forms to me, I saw that she signed everywhere EXCEPT where I had told her to. I had to ask her to step back up the desk and then physically pointed out each place to sign.)

Has No Patience To Be A Patient

| Australia | Crazy Requests, Health & Body

(It is a very slow day so the doctor is hanging out at the reception desk. The receptionist is new. There is a phone call.)

Caller: “Does your clinic prescribe [common drug of addiction]?”

Receptionist: “Hang on; I’ll check.” *to Doctor* “Do we prescribe [common drug of addiction]?”

Doctor: “Not to new patients.”

Receptionist: *to Caller*  “Not to new patients.”

Caller: “Oh, okay. I’m having no luck today!” *click*