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All Signs Point To Your Employee Being Right

, , , , | Working | August 27, 2021

After months of searching, I finally found a job in one of the new testing stations for a certain disease. The owners and managers are not exactly experienced in running a business like this (or in some cases at all) and it shows — sometimes in small, silly ways.

We have to use a one-way system inside the place so people can maintain the proper distance. There are arrows and signs all over the floor to show the correct way, but of course, people don’t always look at the floor, so we often have to tell them where to go anyway. The area around the entrance is rather narrow, so you’d think that people would not try to constantly squeeze through there, but nope. People don’t look at the floor, don’t see the signs, and don’t think, even though pretty much every shop in the country has been one-way for more than a year now. It’s annoying for everyone working there because we constantly have to yell after people.

Management’s solution? Change the signs on the floor. Yellow arrows, red signs, bigger arrows, bigger signs, differently designed signs, etc. I think they’ve changed these signs at least four times. Of course, it doesn’t improve anything. They are still on the floor where the customers don’t see them.

In the beginning, I made a joke about how we could probably put up a huge sign on the wall the customers have to face when trying to leave, and they’d still not read it. After the second sign change, I suggested it more seriously. It’s obvious that the floor signs alone don’t work, and it might help to put them on eye-level and on a huge, otherwise empty, white wall.

I was ignored. I was ignored after the third sign change, too. So, I gave up. Management kept complaining about the customers not reading the signs. They kept complaining about “having to change the signs all the time.” They expressed hope about “this design finally being the one.”

Finally, after more than two months of this, they put up a large sign on the wall. Almost immediately, people stopped going the wrong way. Some still do, but it’s only a couple and not a third or half of all customers, so that’s still a win.

Management patted themselves on the back for finally solving this insurmountable problem.

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This More Painful Than Whatever You Had Done At Your Appointment

, , , | Healthy | August 26, 2021

I am on Medicaid for a short time during college. When leaving the doctor’s office, I ask if there’s anything I owe and they tell me no. A few months later, I receive a bill in the mail from the doctor’s office for $3, along with instructions on how to pay it online. When I go online, the site tells me it won’t accept payments under $10, so I call their office.

Me: “I received a $3 bill from your office but it won’t accept the payment online since it’s under $10. Can I pay over the phone?”

Receptionist: “No, we don’t accept payments under $10 over the phone, either.”

Me: “Can I mail you the money, then, or drop it off during off-hours? My work schedule doesn’t work with your hours of operation.”

Receptionist: “No, it has to be in person.”

Me: “You’re only open from 9:00 am to 5:00 pm. I work from 8:00 am to 5:00 pm and only have a thirty-minute break. My workplace is a thirty-minute drive from your office. Are you really giving me no other option than asking for time off to drive an hours’ worth to pay $3?”

Receptionist: *Long pause* “I’ll waive the fee.”

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Allergic To Using Her Brain

, , , , | Healthy | August 24, 2021

I work for an orthopaedic surgeon and the number of patients who don’t know their medications or allergies is staggering! This patient just called in and we’re concerned about an infection after her surgery.

Me: “The doctor wants to get you on a general antibiotic to be safe. Can you tell me if you have any allergies?”

Patient: “I think I have a few, but I’m not sure. I will give you a call back.”

This isn’t a problem, and the patient calls back to give me a list of five or so allergies. The medication that the doctor wanted to give her is a derivative of one of her allergies, so we need to know what happens.

Me: “Can you tell me what happens when you take that antibiotic, please?” 

Patient: “I can’t recall anything happening. I don’t think I’m even allergic. Let me ask my husband.”

I wait. The patient’s husband says he doesn’t know, so the patient is going to call a friend and get back to me. This is now the third time we’ve gone over this.

Patient: “I think you can go ahead and send that prescription. I don’t think I’m even allergic to it.”

Me: “So, just to be perfectly clear, you really don’t remember what happened the last time you took this medication?”

Patient: “Well, you know, I think the issue was that my throat started to close up.”

Cue me hitting my head on my desk.

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Not Feeling So Good

, , , , , , | Healthy | August 22, 2021

I went to my doctor for a very minor operation on my hand. He gave me two shots of local anaesthetic and we waited for a few moments for it to work. As soon as the scalpel touched my hand, I nearly jumped out of my skin.

Doctor: *Puzzled* “You shouldn’t have felt that. You must be very sensitive. I’ll give you another shot.”

We waited a few minutes again. When the scalpel touched my hand, I jumped again.

Doctor: *Even more puzzled* “You shouldn’t have felt that. I can’t give you any more; it would be a bit risky.”

I just want to get it over and done with.

Me: “It’s not so bad. Go ahead and I’ll try not to react.”

The doctor carefully and successfully finishes the operation.

Doctor: ”Has this ever happened before? It looks like anaesthetics don’t work very well on you.”

Me: “I’ve never had any sort of anaesthetic, full or local, before.”

I drove home, a trip of about an hour. I sat down with a cup of tea, and suddenly, I lost all feeling in my body. Before I could react, I fell asleep. I woke up about three hours later with no apparent after-effects, apart from being worried.

A week later, I saw my doctor for a follow-up and told him what had happened.

Doctor: *Looking very concerned* “I’ve never heard of such a reaction before. It’s a good job it didn’t happen while you were driving home. I think that you had better be very careful about having any sort of anaesthetic in the future. I will put a DANGER note in your medical record.”

I now wear a bright orange “Anaesthetic Risk” medical alert wristband ALL THE TIME!

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I’m Paid By The Hour, Lady

, , , , , | Right | August 17, 2021

I’m the only front desk worker at my doctor’s office, and I usually lock the front door so patients won’t come in while I’m out. However, this time, our IT guy is working on my computer, which is in the office right beside the front door, and one of the nurses is going in and out, so the front door is unlocked.

I’m only out for twenty minutes, so I figure no one will have shown up yet.

Nope.

A patient has shown up thirty minutes early and is standing at the dark office window, grumbling. Luckily, my office door is right beside the window, so I try to move around her to get into my office, but she instantly moves in my way and glares at me.

Patient: “I was here first. Wait your turn.”

When I try to explain that I need to get into my office, she interrupts me multiple times, so I finally sit down to go through my phone and check a few emails. After she’s stood there almost ten minutes, she complains.

Patient: “Are they ever going to check me in?”

I look up from my phone and give her a pointed look.

Me: “I can’t. I’m not at my desk.”

She gets the point and sits down, allowing me to get to my desk. I take my time with clocking in before I ask her to approach the desk.

Patient: “You could have told me who you were.”

Me: “I tried, and you interrupted me.”

I’m definitely making sure the others know to lock the front door when I’m not here.

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