Act Your Age!

, , , | Right | January 4, 2021

A patient calls in to confirm her appointment date and time. After she gives me her name, I ask her to confirm her birthdate to make sure I am looking at the right person’s information.

Patient: “How about you tell me the birthdate you have and I’ll tell you if it’s right or not?”

Me: “I can’t do that; I need you to confirm it for me.”

Patient: “I’ll tell you the month and date and you say the year and I’ll confirm that. It’s [month and day].”

Me: “I can’t—”

Patient: “I’m in a break room with all my coworkers and you want me to say how old I am?!”

Me: “I need you to—”

Patient: “FINE! 1960! I’M F****** SIXTY YEARS OLD! ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?! NOW EVERYONE KNOWS! I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU MADE ME DO THAT!”

Me: “I’m just following protocol, ma’am. Your appointment is [date and time].”

The patient is yelling to her coworkers as she hangs up.

Patient: “DID YOU ALL HEAR THAT—” *Click*

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Making The Best Of Uncomfortable Situations

, , , , , | Healthy | January 1, 2021

My town has put together a free test site for the health crisis for residents. I heard that the morning was swamped. People were in line for hours. I have pre-registered and I go as soon as I get out of work. Fortunately, the lines have died down significantly, and I am the second car in my line.

Unfortunately, when I check in, they have just run out of tubes. I don’t have any plans for the rest of the evening, so I don’t mind waiting. We chat a bit about how the lines have been, it being a successful event, and whatnot. Not three minutes later, another worker drives our way with another box of tubes. The two check-in workers start cheering.

Worker #1: “Woo-hoo!”

Worker #2: “Go, [Tube Worker]! You’re awesome, [Tube Worker]!”

Me: “Not all heroes wear capes!”

Worker #1: “You’re a hero, [Tube Worker]!”

They set me up and send me off to the testing station.

Me: “Hello!”

Worker #3: “Welcome! Have you done this before?”

Me: “Yeah… Once… A while ago.”

Worker #3: “You nervous?”

Me: “Ehhh…”

Worker #3: “Here’s what I like to tell people. We don’t go in any further than you would when you pick your nose… and we both know you pick your nose.”

I burst out laughing. Thanks, test site workers! You sure know how to ease tension!

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Unfiltered Story #221253

, | Unfiltered | December 30, 2020

I work at a radiology centre as a receptionist. On a busy day among many patients a father a daughter come up to me after having an X-Ray done. I have a call on hold and was still finishing up paperwork on another patient.

ME: ‘All done are we? Great! Now you’re just waiting for the hard copy films. The pictures.’ I make a rectangle shape with my hands as I talk. This is automatic for me to say and do.

They sit down and I patter off finishing the paperwork and take the call. Ten minutes later I notice they’re still waiting, which is odd because hard copy’s only take a minute or get them before they even reach me. The father comes back up to me looking slightly irate.

FATHER: ‘What are we waiting for again?’

I see in his hands the envelope containing the hard copy pictures and don’t hesitate with my response.

ME: ‘Oh you have your pictures now? Great! You’re free to go!’

He tsks then hurries his daughter out. My suspicion, he had the hard copy before he saw me and didn’t realize. Genius wasted his own time, don’t tsk at me!

Hard To Remember Life In The Before Times

, , , , | Healthy | December 27, 2020

It’s Wednesday and I have been sick for a couple of days. I try to be seen at urgent care, but due to the health crisis, they have nothing available until Friday afternoon. I take the Friday slot. Since some of my symptoms could also be symptoms of the current spreading illness, I also schedule a free screening at a county test site on Thursday. I get the results on Friday morning before my urgent care visit.

An hour and a half after my slot, the provider is able to see me. I describe my symptoms. 

Me: “I have a cough, sore throat, fatigue, and a little shortness of breath. I did get a [illness] test and it was negative.”

Provider: “It was negative?”

Me: “Yes, thankfully.”

Provider: “Then why are you here?”

Me: *Taken a little aback* “Because I’m sick?”

The provider finished the exam and diagnosed me with an upper respiratory infection.

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Only Happy This Call Is Ending

, , , | Right | December 22, 2020

I am assisting a patient’s family member over the phone at the specialty clinic where I work. It is the holiday season, so I have been very busy with work and family, plus on this day I have a cold and am very tired. While I’m definitely not chipper, I also don’t have an attitude; I just sound like a tired, congested person.

The call begins with the person sounding annoyed about a procedure we told the patient they needed to have, but I explain why and answer the questions they have. At the end of the call, I get this gem, in a sing-songy kind of voice.

Patient’s Family Member: “Okay, thank you! Be happy; it’s your job!”

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