Saved By Math

, , , , , | Right | September 27, 2017

(I am waiting for the receptionist to finish up with another customer before closing me out.)

Receptionist: “Your total bill is $2,720. You get 10% off, and then you paid an additional $1000, giving you a balance of $1,448. Please sign here for your receipt.”

Customer: “No, no, no, no. You did the math wrong. I’m not sure what you did, but you did it wrong.”

(The receptionist follows his bill line by line.)

Receptionist: “Sir, everything is detailed for you right here. I take the 10% off, and then-“

Customer: “That’s where you went wrong; take the 10% off after the $1000.”

Receptionist: “Sir, that would mean you have to pay more money.”

Customer: “This is why you’re a receptionist and not a mathematician. Do my bill correctly now.”

(The receptionist glances over at me with a defeated look.)

Me: “I’m a math teacher, and you did that absolutely right, but you should probably listen to him anyway.”

(She ended up billing him like he wanted to, and he lost out on some of his savings.)

Irony Is Calling For You

, , , , | Right | September 22, 2017

(I’m a nurse in a medical office, and I am in the middle of treating a patient, when a cell phone begins ringing.)

Patient: “It is SO rude for you to let your phone go off while you are taking care of me! I should be your only priority, and I can’t believe they just let you play with your phone in here. I’ll just have to speak to your manager about this!”

Me: “Um, ma’am, that is your phone.”

Patient: “Oh goodness, it is.” *then answers phone and begins loud annoying conversation that keeps me from doing my job*

Anti Antibiotics

, , , , | Working | September 13, 2017

(I went to the doctor a few days ago because of an infection I had, and got antibiotics for it. The infection cleared up, but I am now noticing that my tongue is turning yellow, swollen, and somewhat bumpy. I go to the doctor again, to make sure I’m not having a bad allergic reaction to the antibiotics.)

Doctor: “You think that you’re having an allergic reaction to the antibiotics?”

Me: “Yes; my tongue is turning weird colors and it feels swollen.”

Doctor: *looks at my tongue* “Well, I don’t see anything that concerns me.”

Me: “You’re sure? It doesn’t feel normal.”

(The doctor proceeds to Google what the possible side effects could be for this antibiotic.)

Doctor: “Are you sure that you don’t just have food stuck to your tongue?”

Me: “…”

Pray They Were Talking About Filing

, , , , , | Related | September 8, 2017

(I am sitting in the waiting room of my local GP, where a mother and her son have arrived for their appointment.)

Receptionist: “Miss [Name], I think [Son] needs the toilet.”

Mother: “No, he does that when he’s getting ready. That’s his potty dance.”

Receptionist: “Sorry, but I think he’s trying to tell you he really needs to go.”

Mother: “I’m his mother. I know my son better than anyone. He’ll be ready in a couple of minutes. I’ll take him after his dance.”

(The receptionist protested again, and the mother threatened to complain about her. The boy stopped dancing around a few minutes later, and it looked like he was in a lot of pain. Just as his mother was about to take him to the toilet, the doctor called them in and she decided to force her son to wait again. He could barely move and we were all a bit worried. I was called in to see my doctor next. By the time I left, there were police officers in the building, and I could hear hysterical screaming coming from one of the rooms. As I walked by, I heard one of the receptionists saying, “Imagine using a paperclip to keep it shut.”)

Unfiltered Story #93332

, , | Unfiltered | September 7, 2017

(I work at a detox facility that regularly checked people’s vitals. I have a group of men that I am checking. I’m not following their whole conversation.)

Patient #1: “At least we’re still alive.”

Me: *whispering* “For now.”

(Cue [Patient #1]’s eyes widening as I realize what I’ve said and don’t know what else to say. Sometimes my dark humor gets the best of me.)

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