Right Working Romantic Related Learning Friendly Healthy Legal Inspirational Unfiltered

It’s Subset-ting When People Don’t Listen

| Working | December 20, 2012

Employee: “Hi, how can I help you today?”

Me: “Hey, I have a question on my account, but I don’t have my account number. Can you pull it up with any other information?”

Employee: “Sure! Can I get your social security number?”

Me: “Yes, it’s [number].”

Employee: “Alright, [my name]? For security purposes I just need you to verify the last four digits of your social.”

Me: *repeats last four digits*

Employee: “Thank you—oh my god, I just heard myself. I’m just so used to it!”

Not The Best Way To Staph-e Off Infection

| Working | December 20, 2012

(I have recently developed a very bad reaction to poison ivy. My mother takes me to the doctor to verify that this is definitely what the rash is.)

Nurse: “Alright, let me see what you’ve got there.”

Me: *hold out my arm*

Nurse: “Wow, I’ve never seen a reaction this bad!”

Mom: *points* “You touched one.”

(My nurse looks horrified and all but runs from the room. My regular doctor enters a while later.)

Doctor: “I was told you had a really bad rash. Let me take a look…”

(After examining my rash, she proceeds to call in another doctor, and then to take multiple pictures of the rash because she’s never seen one quite so bad. She then declares that she’ll have to pop one to get it tested for staph.)

Me: “Isn’t staph deadly?”

(My doctor immediately turns pale, as though she didn’t expect me to know this.)

Doctor: “Oh, well… there’s a 99% chance that it isn’t staph.”

Me: “But what if it is?”

Doctor: “It probably isn’t. Let me see your arm now…”

(She proceeds to take my arm and jab a needle into part of the rash while I look away, nauseated. The doctor apparently feels bad for herself for having to even look at the rash, because she comes out with this.)

Doctor: “Wow, aren’t you glad you aren’t me right now?”

Me: “I’m a little sorry that I’m ME right now!”

(It wasn’t staph, but I’ve won the family award for the worst doctor’s visit and worst allergic reaction!)

When Caretakers Get Careless

| Working | December 10, 2012

(I am in the waiting room of my doctor’s office when two women come in. One of them is elderly and using a walker, but seems to have a good mental capacity. The other woman is her caretaker, but is constantly berating the elderly woman and speaking to her like a bratty child. After they check in, the elderly woman is looking at a pamphlet for free shuttles that the office runs.)

Caretaker: “Those aren’t for you! Those are for the staff only. You can’t ride that!”

Elderly Woman: *looks distressed*

(At this point, I’m fed up with the caretaker’s poor treatment and speak up.)

Me: *to the caretaker* “First of all, you should know what you’re talking about before you speak. Patients can take the shuttles; I do it all the time. That’s what they’re for. Second, I’m pretty sure your job title is ‘Caretaker’ and not ‘Total B****’.”

Caretaker: *turns beet red and shuts up*

Elderly Woman: *to me* “Bless you!”

This Doctor Is In The Wrong Roll

| Working | November 28, 2012

(My husband and I have taken our 3-month-old child to see a pediatrician for his checkup.)

Doctor: “All right, strip him down to his diaper, and lay him on the table there.”

(My husband does as he asks and I take over by placing my hands protectively over his stomach so he won’t move too much.)

Doctor: “You know, it’s not that cold in here.”

Me: “I know but he’s been rolling over for a couple weeks now, and I don’t want him falling off.”

Doctor: “Uh huh. Well, anyways…”

(I remove my hands and the doctor proceeds to pin my son’s head down to check his one of his ears. However, my son takes this as cue to roll over.)

Doctor *shocked* “He rolled over! Did you roll him over? Why did he roll over?!”

(He pokes my son nervously, which just elicits a surprised giggle from him. The doctor immediately snatches his finger back.)

Me: “Well, like I said, he’s a very active baby and he loves rolling over. So, you just gotta watch him and be careful.”

(The doctor gives me a weird look and pins my son’s head down again to check out the other ear. Although he’s on his stomach, my son again takes this as his cue to roll over.)

Doctor: *jerks back* “He rolled over again! Why does he keep doing that?! Can’t you stop him?!” *to my son* “Stop rolling over!”

Me: “Right. Uh, again, I repeat that I have a very active baby. Even in sleep, I cannot get him to stay still unless I physically restrain him. By the way, I wanted you to check out his bottom gums. I know it’s a bit soon, but—”

(I stop in surprise as the doctor immediately pries my son’s mouth open and sticks his finger in his mouth. As with any new thing that goes into a baby’s mouth, my son promptly clamps down.)

Doctor: *screams in pain* “HE BIT ME! Your baby bit me! I thought you said he was only three months old! Why does he have teeth?! He bit me!”

(At this point my husband intervened, picked up our son, and we left. I have never met a pediatrician so inexperienced!)

Making A Mountain Out Of A Marked Bill

| Working | November 12, 2012

(Note: I live in a one-light town in the mountains, so it takes half a day to go “off the mountain” to do any shopping or doctor’s appointments.)

Me: “Excuse me, I’ve received a bill from your office that I know I already paid.”

Clerk: “Oh, not a problem! Just bring your receipt marked ‘PAID’ and I’ll mark it as ‘paid’.”

Me: “Huh? Why? I’m looking at my receipt which is a computer printout from your computer. So, you should already have a copy of my receipt. Why can’t you pull it up?”

Clerk: “So I don’t have to look… for… it…” *trails off as she realizes what she’s saying*

Me: “Let me get this straight: you’re suggesting I take a half-day off work to drive down the mountain and show you something you already have so you don’t have to look for it?”

Clerk: “Oops! Marking it ‘PAID’ right now!”