Right Working Romantic Related Learning Friendly Healthy Legal Inspirational Unfiltered

Doesn’t Have Him In Stitches

| Related | April 4, 2013

(I am four years old. I cut my head open by tripping into a brick fireplace. I have managed to cut my head open and get stitches every year I have been alive, so I am used to needles.)

Doctor: “Wow! I have never seen a kid this young not even bat an eye at getting stitches in their face, let alone not cry.”

Mom: “He’s had plenty of practice.”

Doctor: *not amused*

Adopting An Apologetic Attitude

| Right | April 4, 2013

Me: “Thank you for calling [clinic], this is [my name]. How can I help you this evening?”

Caller: “Hi, I just needed to speak with a nurse about my son; he’s been coughing really badly this week.”

Me: “Sure thing!”

(I get her son’s details, and pull up her son’s account in the computer.)

Me: “Alright, I will have the nurse give you a call back in the next 20 minutes. Is this the best number to reach you back at?”

(I read her the primary number on the account.)

Caller: “That is his biological parents’ phone number, but I’ve adopted him and have primary custody. Can you call me back at [this number] tonight?”

Me: “Of course! Alright the nurse will call you shortly.”

Caller: “Actually, can you remove that number and put mine as the primary contact number, please?”

Me: “Unfortunately, I cannot do that for you this evening. I do not have access to any of the legal paperwork you would have on file, and I would be uncomfortable changing the information on the account at this time. But I will have the nurse call your number tonight. You can call back in the morning during regular office hours and speak with my supervisor to get that done.”

(The caller immediately flies into a rage.)

Caller: “I can’t believe this! I should be the primary contact for the child that I have full custody of! This is absurd! Why can’t you just replace the d*** number?”

Me: “I’m very sorry. It has to do with the privacy laws surrounding your protected personal and health information, as well as the legalities of custody agreements. I wish there was more I could do, but I am just a receptionist. I have very limited access to your records, and have no way to verify who you are. But for tonight I can definitely have the nurse call you at your own number about your son.”

Caller: “Whatever. Fine.”

(The caller hangs up, but calls back again about five minutes later.)

Caller: “Hey this is [name] again. I’m really sorry about being so short with you earlier. I realized that you were just protecting yourself, as well as my son and his information. You guys do a great job, and we really like coming to your clinic. So, I apologize. I’m just very stressed out with my son being so sick.”

Me: “Wow, thank you for your apology! But I totally understand where you are coming from.”

Caller: “It’s just been a rough few days. But thank you for your help, and being so kind while I yelled at you. Keep up the good work!”

Litter-ally Addicted

| Related | April 2, 2013

(I’m at a follow up with my doctor, and since I cannot drive my mother is with me. At the previous visit, I was given a prescription that also has a reputation as a street drug.)

Me: “Since the medicine didn’t work, would you be able to take the pills and safely dispose of them?”

Doctor: “I really don’t have any way of doing that. Are they tablets?”

Me: “Yes.”

Doctor: “Just put them in the bottom of the trash, then. As long as you don’t keep them around, it’s fine.”

(My mom, who has been silent the entire hour, finally pipes up.)

Mom: “I know; we’ll throw them in with the used kitty litter!”

Doctor: “Well, I guess someone really would have to be an addict to want them after that…”

(I’m never letting her in the exam room with me again!)

How To OBtain GYNerosity

| Working | March 27, 2013

(I have been referred to an OBGYN office by the health department, which was supposed to pay for the visit. Due to a miscommunication, I have been stuck with a $200 bill. I call the OBGYN to see what can be done, as I can not afford to pay all $200 at once.)

Me: “So, what can we do about this? If I pay all $200 today, I can’t buy food this month.”

Employee: “Oh, I understand girl; I’m right there with you. Hang on a second… let me see what we can do.”

(She puts me on hold for a few minutes.)

Employee: “Okay, what can you pay today?”

Me: “It looks like I can pay half of it today.”

Employee: “And when do you get paid again?”

Me: “I just got paid, so it will be the end of this month or the beginning of next month.”

Employee: “Okay, I’m going to charge you the $100 today, and we’re going to call it even.”

Me: “…Are you sure?! Thank you… are you sure?”

Employee: “Yes, I’m sure. Tell you what: I’ll drop it down to $75 if you’ll make a deal with me. The next time you need a gynecologist, come to our office, and tell all your friends about us.”

Me: “Okay! Are you sure? Thank you so much!”

Employee: “I’m sure. I feel sorry for you! I’ll charge you the $75 and send you a receipt.”

(I am very glad to have spoken to this employee, who made a terrible situation much better! Thank you to her!)

Immaculate Misconception, Part 2

| Working | March 5, 2013

(I’m getting prepped for a routine surgery and the nurse is asking the usual questions: “Do you drink, smoke, etc.” It’s all going well until this…)

Nurse: “We need to do a pregnancy test, or you can sign a waver if you think you’re not pregnant.”

Me: “Um… I’m not pregnant.”

Nurse: “Well, we either need to do the test or you can sign the waver.”

Me: “Oh, fine. I’ll sign the waver.”

Nurse: “Are you sure you’re not pregnant?”

Me: “I don’t have a boyfriend.”

Nurse: “So you’re sure?”

Me: “I have no sex life.”

Nurse: “Well, you either need to do the pregnancy test or sign the waver.”

Me: “Look, I’m on birth control for endometriosis. I’m not pregnant. Give me the waver.”

Nurse: “Are you sure you’re not pregnant? We need to do the test.”

Me: “I. Am. On. Birth. Control.”

Nurse: “So you’ll do the test?”

Me: “NO! I’m not pregnant, unless I’m carrying the Son of God! I’m the Virgin Mary!”

Nurse: “So… you’ll take the test?”

Me: “Give me the waver. ”

Nurse: *hands me the paper reluctantly* “All right, but if you’re pregnant and something happens, I did warn you!”