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Go MacGuyver Go

, , , | Right | October 14, 2008

(I work at a bulk food store, where prices are given on the bins for 100 grams, and 1 pound of the product.)

Customer: “Why isn’t this weighing in pounds? The sign had it in pounds!”

Me: “The signs have it in both pounds and grams, and since Canada uses the metric system, we weigh according to kilograms.”

Customer: “Kilograms are not grams!”

Me: “Grams go into kilograms, sir.”

Customer: “No, they don’t! I am the customer, and I want this scale to weigh in pounds!”

(Note that this is a scale only weighs in kilograms, with ‘kg’ painted on permanently next to the display.)

Me: “That’s impossible, sir.”

Customer: “No, it’s not; it’s what I want. I work with computers. I can change this.”

Me: “You do that…”


This story is part of our Metric System roundup!

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Arithmophobia

, , , | Right | August 11, 2008

(I work at a restaurant where customers can call and place an order to pick up).

Me: “Thank you for calling [Restaurant]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Hi, how many wings can you get in an order?”

Me: “We have orders of 6, 12, 18, 24, 50, and 100. Would you like to order some?”

Customer: “Yes, I want 20.”

Me: “Sir, we don’t have 20. The closest we have to 20 is 18.”

Customer: “How many wings come in your 18-piece?”

Me: “… 18.”

Customer: “Okay, are you sure?”

Me: “I can say for a fact that the 18-piece wing order comes with 18 wings.”

(This went on for a few minutes. Back and forths of, “Are you sure?” and, “Yes, sir, I am sure you get 18 wings in an 18 wing order.”)

Me: “Now what can I get you today?”

Customer: “I think I’m going to eat elsewhere.” *click*

Water You, Stupid

, , , , | Right | June 30, 2008

(While passing through airport security, a passenger’s bag needs to be pulled because the x-ray operator sees an obvious big bottle of water when the limit is 3.4 oz.)

Me: “Whose bag is this?”

Passenger: “Oh! Oh! Oohhh! It’s mine! Is there something wrong?”

Me: “I just need to take a quick look inside, ma’am. This shouldn’t take more than a couple of minutes.”

Passenger: “Well, hurry. I think they’re boarding my plane.”

(I open her bag and find the bottle almost immediately. She gasps as I pull it out.)

Me: “Ma’am, I’m afraid you cannot have this beyond this point.”

Passenger: “Why not? I just bought it, and it’s unopened!”

Me: “Ma’am, the rules clearly state that you cannot have any liquids over 3.4 oz in your carry on. If you’d like to, you could–”

Passenger: “But that’s not a liquid!”

Me: “Excuse me, ma’am?”

Passenger: “It’s not a liquid! It’s water! W-A-T-E-R! You know, H-2-O? For the love of God, don’t they hire anyone with more than a grade school education for security?”

And Just Think, You’ll Meet Them In Multiplayer

, , , | Right | May 22, 2008

(GTA4 came out recently… it never occurred to me how many people didn’t know roman-bloody-numerals.)

Customer: “I’d like to pre-order Grand Theft Auto Five.”

Me: “Four.”

Customer: “Four? No. I wanted Five. Four is old.”

Me: “Four is the one coming out in a week or so.”

Customer: “No it isn’t! It’s GTA Five you…” *mumbles*

Me: “Sir. That’s GTAIV. IV is Four. V is Five.”

Customer: “Well if you’re going to lie to me, I’m going to another store!” (…and he did.)

(Another occasion…)

Customer: “What is that… Grand Theft Auto Eye Vee…”

Me: “Four.”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “Grand Theft Auto Four.”

Customer: “I don’t understand.”

Me: “It’s like the Rocky Movies.”

Customer: “OH. Oh. I see now. Heh. Four.”

(And finally, the big day: GTA IV was due to be released at midnight. I lost all hope for humanity when a customer came in and paid off the game, then asked…)

Customer: “Excuse me, what’s midnight?”


This story is part of our Video Games Roundup!

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Math Is Your Friend, Part 3

, , , | Right | May 17, 2008

(We are having a sale: four bags of liquorice for $12. I ring each bag up individually, and it shows up as $3 a bag.)

Customer: “I don’t want those if they come up to $3 a bag. It said they were four for $12.”

Me: “But if you’re buying four, at $3 apiece, that’s $12.”

Customer: “No, that’s $3 a bag. I want all four for $12!”

Me: “Okay…”

Related:
Math Is Your Friend, Part 2
Math Is Your Friend