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A Heated Topic

, , , , | Right | July 1, 2010

(Note: a lunch party is sitting outside on our deck, which overlooks the waterfront.)

Me: “How is everything, folks?”

Customer: “Oh, the food’s great! It’s just a bit chilly out here.”

Me: “If you’d like, I can move you to a table inside, where it’s warmer.”

Customer: “Actually, could you just turn up the heat?”

Me: “Pardon?”

Customer: “The heat? Could you turn it up out here?”

Me: “There is no heating system.”

Customer: “Then, what’s that?” *points to railing around the deck*

Me: “That’s the railing.”

Customer: “No, it’s not; it’s a heater! It’s warm!” *touches railing as to show me how warm it is*

Me: “It’s warm because it’s been sitting in the sun.”

Customer: “Don’t try to trick me! I’m a scientist, and I know that heaters make things warm!”

Non-Plussed With Tax

, , , , | Right | June 15, 2010

Me: “Your total is $22.15 with tax.”

Customer: “What? How can that be?”

Me: “Well, you had one stamp at $13.95, and one candle at $6.95.”

Customer: “That doesn’t add up!”

Me: “Fourteen plus seven is twenty-one, and then with sales tax.”

Customer: “I still don’t know how that adds up. Oh, well… I guess math has changed with inflation and all.”


This story is part of our “Customers terrible at math” roundup!

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In Need Of Humble Pi

, , , , | Right | May 5, 2010

Me: “Would you like to donate to [Charity] today?”

Customer: “Okay. Round my total up to $30.”

(I pull out a calculator to figure out how much it is to round up to $30. The customer’s total is $25.78.)

Customer: “It’s sad that you need a calculator to figure that out. It’s $7.32.”

Me: “Actually, ma’am, it’s $4.22.”

Customer: “Oh.”


This story is part of our “Customers terrible at math” roundup!

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Being That Stupid Is Quite A Feet

, , , , | Right | February 17, 2010

Customer: “How big do people usually make fleece blankets?”

Me: “For people under six foot they’re usually 2 1/2 yards, and for over six feet, three yards.”

(The customer is silent for a moment, giving me a confused stare.)

Customer: “I’m just no good with metric yards.”


This story is part of our Metric System roundup!

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Immeasurable Confusion

, , , , , | Right | February 5, 2010

Me: “Hi, [Pizza Place].”

Customer: “Hi, it says you have a nine-inch small pizza. How big is that?”

Me: “Nine inches; six slices.”

Customer: “But how big is it?”

Me: “The diameter of the pizza is approximately nine inches. There are six slices.”

Customer: “Like, okay, but you already told me that. How big is it?”

Me: “I’m not sure what other metric to use. The pie is slightly smaller across than a third of a meter.”

Customer: *brief pause* “Okay, what size is the medium?”

Me: “Twelve inches; six slices.”

Customer: *another brief pause* “The small has six, too. So, they’re the same size?!”


This story is part of our Pizzas & Bad Customers roundup!

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