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Some Of Us Are Devolving

, , , , , | Friendly | April 25, 2022

I was walking my mom’s dog through the park near her house one morning. The two of us were heading down the path, minding our own business when a stranger walked up.

He proceeded to ask me if I believed in evolution, then before I could actually respond he started ranting about how someone (I never actually got who this person was supposed to be) had looked at two lizard fossils and they were exactly the same. And something, something, evolution is a fraud! I don’t actually know all of what he said, not only was he shouting, his words were semi-incoherent. He just wasn’t enunciating, it was like he had a mouthful of marbles that he was shouting around.

Now, I actually majored in evolutionary biology in college, but I wasn’t wearing anything indicating that and I have no idea what set the guy off. As far as I knew, I’d never met him before in my life.

But my mom’s dog has a profound dislike of strange men, especially ones who are shouting, so at this point, she went into a frenzy of barking at him with her hackles up. Mom’s dog has never actually attacked anyone, and she wasn’t a large dog, but as aggressive as she was behaving, this guy decided that she might. And to be fair, she might have- I make it a point to never assume that a dog won’t attack.

The upside was that he ran off, presumably to harass more random strangers.

As the dog and I were leaving the park, I saw the guy again, getting into his car. He saw me, shouted something about lizards, and drove off.

Thermodynamics, You Take It From Here, Part 5

, , , , , | Right | April 22, 2022

I am a donut maker, bread slicer, and shelf stacker at a bakery in a supermarket. We have two bakers and on this particular day, our baker works solo. I am putting freshly cut bread on the shelf.

The baker is five-ish meters behind me pulling freshly baked bread out of the oven, banging the bread molds on the table to liberate the bread from its metal captor. A customer walks up to me:

Customer: “Hey mate, where can I find the fresh bread?”

I look at the baker banging bread on the table, look at fresh cut bread in my rack and hands, and then look at the customer.

Me: “Right here, mate.”

The customer looks at the bread, then at the baker pulling bread out of the oven, then back to the bread.

Customer: “Nah, this is yesterday’s bread. I want today’s fresh bread.”

I threw away yesterday’s bread as it’s a rule. I also waited for the hot bread in front of me to cool down to slice.

Me: “The fresh bread is right here. This is the bread the baker took out of the oven an hour ago.”

I point to the baker putting more bread into the oven. The customer just looks at the name-brand bread that is at least a day or two old but can sit on the shelf for a week.

Customer: “Ah, here’s the fresh bread! Thanks for helping, ya lazy prick.”

Related:
Thermodynamics, You Take It From Here, Part 4
Thermodynamics, You Take It From Here, Part 3
Thermodynamics, You Take It From Here, Part 2
Thermodynamics, You Take It From Here

There’s A Lot To Unpack Here…

, , , , , , | Right | April 21, 2022

I work in a natural history museum. An elderly woman (maskless) is berating a coworker, so I get closer to see why.

Old Lady: “Why do you sell bugs in candy?”

Coworker: “We have a vending machine that has scorpion pops, chocolate crickets, and other candied insects because they’re good for the environment and tasty.”

Old Lady: “But don’t you know that the Jews are making people eat bugs to turn the world flat?”

Me: “…”

Call Animal Welfare Now!

, , , , , , | Right | April 21, 2022

CONTENT WARNING: Animal Abuse

While working reception in a veterinary clinic, we had one pet owner who was in to “alternative” medicine for her animals. The only vaccine she would allow was the legally required rabies vaccine. She preferred using (ineffective) essential oils rather than the flea and tick prevention we carried. We would simply make our recommendations for treatment and she would select the ones that fit her holistic healing ideals.

When her elderly cat came in with issues, our doctor suspected kidney failure (common in older cats) and suggested urinalysis and bloodwork which would give us more clarification. While comprehensive lab-work is a bit pricey, it gives invaluable information about an animal’s health. The owner said she would have to consider it and took her ailing kitty home.

We learned later that the owner questioned our doctor’s diagnosis and opted for a second opinion. And where did she go for this “expert opinion”? She scheduled her cat for multiple sessions with a pet psychic.

H2-D’oh! Part 9

, , , , , | Right | April 20, 2022

I work in airport security (TSA to Americans).

Me: “You can’t take in that, ma’am, it’s liquid.”

Passenger: “It’s not liquid, it’s water!”

You won’t believe how many times people say that!

Related:
H2-D’oh!, Part 8

H2-D’oh!, Part 7
H2-D’oh!, Part 6
H2-D’oh!, Part 5
H2-D’oh!, Part 4