Math Is Hard When Pizza’s On The Brain

, , , , , , | Working | April 21, 2020

(My family is visiting the pizza counter while at a game center for my work-sponsored “family night.” As part of the deal, we were each given a coupon for a drink and two slices of pizza. We are a family of three.)

Me: “I have these coupons; I’d like four cheese pizza slices and two pepperoni.”

Clerk: “You want… What?”

Me: “Four cheese slices and two pepperoni.”

Clerk: “But the coupon is for two slices.”

Me: “We have three coupons.” *shows them*

Clerk: “But you can’t have four cheese; the coupon is for two.”

Me: “Okay, then I’ll have two cheese, two cheese, and two pepperoni.”

Clerk: “Great! I’ll get that for you!”

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Math Has Been Working For At Least That Long, Yes

, , , , , , , | Working | April 7, 2020

I’m at my local roller derby game, and I decide that a beverage is just right for the occasion.

A local brewery is supplying the beers, and the bar is run by skaters from the league.

I buy two beers, and the total comes to something like $18. I hand the lady a $20 and three dollars in change. She looks at me weirdly and says, “It’s only $18.”

I reply, “It’s so you can give me a $5 note instead of coins.”  

“Oh! That’s clever. Did you work it out when you were queueing up?”

I just let it slide, thank the lovely lady, and leave with my cans.

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Who Says Video Games Aren’t Educational?

, , , , , | Related | April 1, 2020

I am a fifteen-year-old with autism so my mind works differently from others. I’m absolutely rubbish at maths and spend more time playing video games, reading, and watching “Harry Potter” and anime than I do studying or doing homework.

Me: “Last night, I got the Master Sword in Zelda!”

Mum: “Does the Master Sword help you with maths?”

Me: “Well… you need at least thirteen hearts to get the Master Sword without dying. You need four Spirit Orbs to get one Heart Container. You get one Spirit Orb per Shrine. Four times thirteen is fifty-two. I would need fifty-two Shrines to get the Master Sword.”

Later, I relay this story to one of my longest and closest friends who also has autism.

Friend: “I will never get your mind.”

Me: “One, I don’t think they were expecting that. Two, I didn’t even factor in the Heart Containers I got from Divine Beast Vah Ruta, Divine Beast Vah Naboris, and Divine Beast Vah Medoh. Zelda is educational for me.”

Friend: “I can see.”

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Unable To Produce An Answer

, , , , | Right | March 27, 2020

(Our phone system is not working, so all of the phone calls are being redirected to our desk instead of the usual switchboard location. I have a customer calling about an inquiry.)

Customer: “Do you have watermelons?”

Me: “Yes, we do. We have lots. I think they’re on sale this week.”

Customer: “How much are they?”

Me: “They’re [total].”

Customer: “And how much do they weigh?”

Me: “Well, I’m not sure, but the price isn’t by weight but by quantity.”

Customer: “Yes, but how much do they weigh? Approximately how much do they weigh?”

Me: “I… I’m not sure. They’re all different weights because it isn’t by weight, but by quantity.”

Customer: “But how much do they weigh?!”

Me: *pause* “One moment while I transfer you to produce.”

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Short By One Dollar, And A Lot More Brain Cells

, , , , , | Right | March 10, 2020

(A girl has ordered a shake which costs $3.13. She gives me a five-dollar bill.)

Me: *to myself* “Okay, that’s $1.87.”

(I smile and hand the girl her change. She takes the money and counts it, and then she looks at me and says, rudely, I might add:)

Customer: “You need to give me another dollar.”

Me: “Umm… No, I gave you the correct amount.”

Customer: “No, you didn’t. I gave you a $5 bill. So you need to give me another dollar.” 

(One of my coworkers comes by and asks what’s happening.)

Me: “She paid with a—”

Customer: “I gave her a $5 bill. And she forgot to give me another dollar.”

(My coworker looks on our screen to see how much she paid.)

Coworker: “That looks right… but just in case.”

(He then pulls out his phone and calculates it. It is correct. He flashes his phone to her.)

Customer: “Oh.”

(Then, she walked away. No apology. No thank-you. Nothing. I don’t know if she was trying to short me or was stupid, but either way, wow.)

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