One Pig Died In The Forming Of This Friendship

, , , , , , , , , | Learning | January 13, 2018

(At the time of this story, I’m in ninth grade. I’m a girl. Due to my introverted personality, two girls in my biology class have decided it would be fun to pick on me. We are doing pig dissections in class today.)

Teacher: “…and [My Name], you’ll be partnered with [Mean Girl #1].”

([Mean Girl #1] smirks at me as our teacher brings out the fetal pigs.)

Teacher: “All right, kids, pair off and I’ll give you your specimens.”

Mean Girl #1: “Ew! Like, that is so gross!”

Mean Girl #2: “I didn’t know we’d be dissecting, like, actual animals!”

Teacher: “LADIES! Yes, they are fetal pigs, and they were frozen. We went over this yesterday.”

Mean Girl #2: “That’s, like, totally gross and animal cruelty! I’m not doing it!”

Teacher: *heavy sigh* “Fine. Go to the library and tell [Other Biology Teacher] that you’re going to do the computer dissection.”

(They exit, making gagging noises.)

Teacher: “[My Name], your partner is [Popular Girl].”

(She comes over to my lab station.)

Popular Girl: “Do you mind if I do the actual dissection? I love this kind of stuff!”

Me: “Seriously? Uh… sure. I’ll take notes!”

Popular Girl: “SWEET!”

(She successfully dissects the pig, while I take notes and diagram the different parts. The group from the library comes back in as we’re finishing up.)

Me: “Hey [Mean Girl #1 & #2]! Look at this!”

(I pull some gloves on and point out the pig’s heart.)

Mean Girl #1: “OH, MY GOD! Why would you show me that?!”

Mean Girl #2: “You’re a freak!”

Popular Girl: *puts her gloves back on, picks up the heart, and waves it in their direction* “Look! It’s so squishy! Come touch it!”

(She advances toward them. They scream and run into the hallway.)

Teacher: *holding back laughter* “Okay, okay, no taunting your classmates with pig parts.”

(They never made fun of me again, and [Popular Girl] and I became friends!)

Dumb As A Rock

, , , , , | Learning | January 11, 2018

(I hear this stupid conversation between two classmates sitting next to me.)

Classmate #1: “We’re going some geology!”

Classmate #2: “Do you even know what that means?”

Classmate #1: “No.”

Classmate #2: “I think it’s the study of life.”

Just Round Up Or Down

, , , , , , | Learning | January 4, 2018

(I’m in algebra class and we’re learning a rather difficult topic.)

Girl Across the Classroom: “Man, you either get this, or you don’t, and I’m in the middle.”

Me: *facepalms as I realize the impossibility of this statement*

Not In The Top Percentile, Part 2

, , , , , , | Working | January 3, 2018

(I buy some leggings that are 50% off of the original price of £8. There is something wrong with the tills, so the cashiers have to work stuff out on calculators. I am dumbfounded when the girl starts using her calculator to figure out 50% of £8.)

Cashier: “Um… That’s £7.84, please.”

Me: “No, that’s not right.”

Cashier: “50% off is £7.84.”

Me: “No, it should be £4.”

(The cashier takes her calculator and shows me how she worked it out. She divided 800 by 50 and took the answer, 16, off the £8.)

Me: “That’s not how you work out percentages. 50% is half; half of 8 is 4.”

Cashier: *pauses* “I think you’re right, actually. Sorry. That’s £4, please.”

 

Related:

Not In The Top Percentile

Ten Out Of Ten For Effort

, , , , , | Learning | December 20, 2017

(I overhear this conversation between two four-year-olds at snack time.)

Child #1: “Did you know that five plus five is ten?”

Child #2: “Oh, yeah? So, you know what one plus one is?”

Child #1: “Um, I don’t know. I only know that five plus five is ten.”

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