Weekly Roundup: Weird Science

, | Right | October 21, 2012

Weird Science! In this week’s roundup, we feature customers with a weird (or non-existent) comprehension of science!

  1. The Building Block(heads) Of Life (5,628 thumbs up)
    A brainless bookstore customer gets a crash course in Chemistry 101!
  2. Magnetic Lines Of Farce (3,127 thumbs up)
    This credit card customer doesn’t quite understand the “attraction” of magnetic stripes.
  3. A Heated Topic (3,870 thumbs up)
    A restaurant patron gets into a heated argument with an employee over the warmth of the sun!
  4. Science, Stripped Down To A Soundbite (2,031 thumbs up)
    Explaining condensation and temperature? It’s wasted on customers who just want a “watered”-down explanation.
  5. Can’t Keep A Good Waitress Down (4,038 thumbs up)
    A waitress gets a tip for giving a customer tips on gravity!

PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

U + I = L0/e

, , | Romantic | March 22, 2012

(It’s the weekend before Valentine’s Day, and my boyfriend is home for the weekend from college. He is currently in advanced calculus, and we met in math class. He gives me flowers with a note.)

Boyfriend: “Read the note.”

(I open the note, it reads:)

Note:
y1=3D-=E2=88=9A(1-x^2)-x^(2/3)
y2=3D=E2=88=9A(1-x^2)+x^(2/3)
y3=3D-=E2=88=9A(1/4-x^2)
y4=3D=E2=88=9A(1/64-(x+0.5)^2)+0.65
y5=3D=E2=88=9A(1/64-(x+0.5)^2)+0.65
window: x min=3D-2, x max=3D2
y min=3D-2, y max=3D2

(I graphed it on my graphing calculator, and it ends up being a heart with a smiley face.)

Me: “You’re such a nerd sometimes, but I love you.”

Boyfriend: “Hey, I’m not such a nerd. That took me a whole half hour to do!”

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Nonplussed Customers

, , , | Right | February 10, 2011

Customer: “Something isn’t right with these two signs about the pears on sale. One says $1.00 for one pound, and the other says $10 for ten pounds. Which is it?”

Me: “Actually, ma’am, that’s the same thing.”

Customer: “Excuse me, but I actually went to college. I think I can do basic math.”

Me: “Let’s look at it this way. If it’s $1 for one pound, how much would three pounds be?”

Customer: “$3.”

Me: “Yep, and how much would five pounds be?”

Customer: “$5.”

Me: “Awesome. How much would ten pounds be?”

Customer: “$10.” *pause* “Those signs are misleading!” *storms off*

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Half A Brain And A Pound Foolish

, , , , | Right | February 7, 2011

Me: “Would you like to try our new Texas Toast Bacon Cheese Thickburger?”

Customer: “Nope. I want a… I’m not sure what it is called. But it has BBQ sauce, bacon, cheese and all that.”

Me: “Okay, that is our Texas Toast Bacon Cheese Thickburger.”

Customer: “Yeah, sure.”

Me: “Okay, would you like to add fries and a drink for a combo?”

Customer: “Nope, no combo.”

Me: “Okay, would you like the quarter, third, or half-pound for that?”

Customer: “For what?”

Me: “The size of the meat patty; you can get either the quarter, third, or half-pound.”

Customer: “I’m not stupid; I can read a sign. Is the half-pound the biggest?”

Me: “Yes, sir.”

Customer: “So, the quarter-third is next size down?”

Me: “No, sir. Those are two different sizes. The third is smaller than the half, but larger than the quarter. The quarter is smallest of all.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. I will have the quarter-third.”

(I contemplate for a moment, then ring him up for a third-pound.)

Me: “Okay, is that going to complete your order today?”

Customer: “What about some fries and a coke?”

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Spaced Out

, , , , | Right | February 4, 2011

(I work in the astronomy section of my local natural history museum, which features several large NASA photos. A visitor approaches me and points at a picture of an astronaut doing a spacewalk.)

Visitor: “What is that astronaut doing?”

Me: “Oh, he’s doing a spacewalk.”

Visitor: “You can walk… in space?!”

Me: “Well, no. They just sort of float there while tethered to the spacecraft. They only do it when they need to exit the shuttle to do repairs.”

Visitor: “Oh…” *points at a photo of Apollo 11 launching* “What’s that?”

Me: “That’s Apollo 11 launching to put the first humans on the moon.”

Visitor: “Oh… why didn’t they just build a big ladder?”

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