Customer: “How many slices are in your medium pizza?”
Me: “We cut it into eight slices, but if you’d like we can cut it into twelve or even sixteen.”
Customer: “Oh, no! Don’t do that. I can’t eat that much. Just cut it into eight.”
(A subject is speaking with me about a sleep-study we were doing.)
Subject: “So, I’ll just have to go to sleep for the study, right?”
Me:: “That’s correct. We’re just using those scanning machines to test brain function during REM sleep.”
Subject: *suddenly fearful* “You expect me to sleep with those machines cutting into my brain?!”
Customer: “The counter is wet.”
Me: “Oh, it’s from condensation.”
Customer: *blank stare*
Me: “When someone takes the milk out of the refrigerator, and it starts to become room temperature… it drips…”
Customer: *blank stare*
Me: “It’s water.”
Customer: “Oh!”
Customer: “Do you have a pill I can take instead of drinking water?”
Me: “Um, what do you mean?”
Customer: “When I’m at work and I drink water, I have to pee so much! I know there’s got to be a pill I can take instead.”
Me: “There’s really no substitute for drinking water.”
Customer: “No! I know there has to be some kind of pill you can take instead of drinking.”
Me: “I’m sorry, but there’s not.”
Customer: “There has to be something. Never mind, I’ll try to find it myself!” *wanders over to the vitamin aisles in search of water pills*
Customer: “Two for ‘Ice Age’, please.”
Me: “No problem. Did you want the 3-D showing at 2:15, or the regular, 2-D showing at 2:50?”
Customer: “What’s the difference?”
Me: “…thirty-five minutes, and a dimension.”
