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Getting Salty With Chemistry, Part 2

, , , | Right | February 22, 2023

Many years back, I worked for a store chain that sells all products related to and connected to nature. Among them is the Himalayan salt stone lamp. It’s a stone made of salt that encases an electrical bulb. It is supposed to help for regulating ions in your home or office.

A customer calls us:

Customer: “I’m sorry, but I really need to complain. My stone disappeared at home, so I am going to have to ask for a refund.”

Me: *As open-minded as I can be* “Can you explain to me exactly what you meant by ‘disappeared’?”

Customer: “I removed the stone from the bulb and put it in my dishwasher to clean it. When I opened the dishwasher, it was gone!”

I had to be super nice to her to make her realize that salt dissolves in water, especially in hot water, without her getting upset and getting offended.

Related:
Getting Salty With Chemistry

A Price For The Devil To Pay, Part 7

, , , , , , | Right | February 17, 2023

I live in a VERY Catholic town. It’s not uncommon to see nuns around the town wherever you are.

It’s a normal day at work. A big church bus pulls into the lot, and two nuns hop out and come into the store. I greet them normally and let them go about their business, and they come up to the counter a few minutes later, armed with a couple of bottles of water and a snack or two.

Here’s where it gets… a little dicey. My register doesn’t take off two-for-whatever deals until I hit the total button, so right now, their total is around eight-something. I hit the button, and what does their total become?

$6.66.

I immediately start cackling like a crazy person.

Me: *Through stomach-aching laughter* “No. No, I’m sorry. Absolutely not. [Coworker]!”

My coworker came, and as best I could, I asked them to please finish the transaction because I physically couldn’t do it. They did, also giggling at the total at first before very kindly telling the ladies what it was. One of them quietly slipped a pack of gum onto the counter.

They paid and left, and I spent the rest of the day and many days thereafter telling this story.

Related:
A Price For The Devil To Pay, Part 6
A Price For The Devil To Pay, Part 5
A Price For The Devil To Pay, Part 4
A Price For The Devil To Pay, Part 3
A Price For The Devil To Pay, Part 2

*Chuckles* I’m In Danger!

, , , , , , , | Learning | February 4, 2023

In the early 1990s, I bought my first house. Not long after moving in, I noticed that our local community college had a non-credit evening course called “Residential Wiring For Homeowners”. It was, as the title suggested, catering to homeowners who wanted to learn the basics of electrical wiring in the home as it pertained to anything from replacing lights fixtures and switches to minor electrical changes — renovations, etc.

The instructor was a licensed journeyman electrician with a wry sense of humour and more than a few stories to tell of the many wiring nightmares he had come across in his career. He was a great instructor, and I learned a LOT from him in the course.

Each week, he would give a short lecture on the work we would practice. For the course, each of us bought a list of electrical supplies (wire, switches, junction boxes, etc.), and we used a two-foot-by-two-foot square of plywood to attach the various pieces. After each lecture, we would then practice building the circuits and mount the necessary pieces on the board. During this time, our instructor would move about checking our work, offering advice and/or corrections, and answering questions.

On the first night, [Instructor] outlined the course and expectations. He also made it clear there was one rule that had to be followed:

“NOBODY plugs their board in to live power without me checking your work first. No exceptions!”

You may guess where this story is going.

There was one guy in the class — let’s call him “Ralph”. After a few nights, it was clear that Ralph was struggling a bit with the concepts. He never seemed to get it right the first time, kept asking for more explanations, etc. He was a nice guy but clearly not cut out to do this stuff on his own.

One evening, in particular, stands out all these years later. We were working on a more complicated wiring example using four-way switches and light fixtures. Everyone was working away and completing the task when, all of a sudden, there was a loud “FOOP” and the lights went out in the class and in the hallway so we were in the pitch black.

After a few moments:

Instructor: “Who did that?!”

Ralph: “Uhhhh, sorry…”

Instructor: “Okay, everyone unplug your boards, and do not touch them until I’m back. I’m going to find and reset the breaker.”

When the lights came on and [Instructor] returned, he reviewed all the work in progress and gave the okay to proceed… for everyone but poor Ralph. He took Ralph to one corner of the room and sat down with him for a few minutes to have a “quiet conversation”. We proceeded with finishing our work, and Ralph eventually returned to finish his project board under the watchful eye of [Instructor].

A few classes later, we were done with the course. On the final night, [Instructor] began passing out certificates to all of us… except for poor Ralph. They were largely symbolic certificates, just an acknowledgment that we had taken the course.

Instructor: “Ralph, I know you tried your best in this course, but it is abundantly clear that you really have trouble grasping the basics I tried to teach this class. I would invite you to register for and take the course again to get the concepts down. If not, I implore you to never, ever touch the electrical wiring in your home and always call a qualified electrician for any work.”

I have no idea if Ralph tried to take the course again, and I certainly hope he never burned his house down trying to replace a light switch on his own.

His Science Career Is Literally Going Up In Flames

, , , , , | Learning | January 23, 2023

I was studying biology at university and we were in the laboratory, working with bacteria samples. It was mostly for practice before the more serious lab work later on in the year.

It was clear that some of the students had little experience working in a lab. My lab partner was one of these, and since I already had some experience, I let him do the actual work while I assisted.

My partner was getting ready to place a sample onto a petri dish with growth medium on it. Before the sample could be placed, the equipment needed to be sterilized in order to ensure that the samples weren’t contaminated.

He started out by dipping an inoculation loop in ethanol, and then he was going to move it through a blue flame to make it completely sterile. As he was moving it through the flame, the spirit on it caught fire as planned and started burning off. The beaker of ethanol was still placed on the desk.

Me: “Okay, now, just hold still, and take care not to spill the—”

[Lab Partner] knocked the beaker over, spilling ethanol all over the bench.

Me: “Whoa! Okay, don’t panic. Just make sure you don’t move the flame too close to—”

Then, [Lab Partner] clumsily lowered the burning instrument too close to the pool of ethanol, causing it to catch fire and spread across the desk.

The teaching assistant rushed over and threw a fire blanket over the desk. The fire had reached an expensive microscope and started to melt part of the plastic on its base, but thankfully, it wasn’t properly ruined.

I took care of the sterilization protocol myself after that.

Thermodynamics, You Take It From Here, Part 14

, , , , | Right | January 20, 2023

The ice dispenser broke at the fast food joint where I used to work. As a temporary fix while we waited for the repair guy to come take a look at it, we set out a giant serving bowl full of ice with tongs so people could still ice their drinks.

About ten minutes after we put out the ice bowl, a customer came up to me to complain that the machine wasn’t dispensing ice.

Me: “We know. A repair guy was called, but he’s not here yet. In the meantime, there’s a bowl next to the soda fountain so you can still get ice.”

Customer: “How do I know that ice hasn’t been sitting out there all day?”

I stared at him for a good few seconds, trying to figure out if he was joking. He confirmed  that he was not because he snapped:

Customer: “Answer the question!”

Me: “Obviously not, because the ice is still solid.”

Customer: “…which means what exactly?!”

Me: “Ice melts, sir. If left out at room temperature, ‘old ice’ would just be water.”

Customer: “I want to speak with your manager!”

My manager spoke up from two feet to my left, without missing a beat.

Manager: “Sir, at this point, I can’t help you. Maybe a preschool teacher could because clearly there’s something you didn’t learn somewhere.”

The guy sputtered something incoherent and then just left.

Related:
Thermodynamics, You Take It From Here, Part 13
Thermodynamics, You Take It From Here, Part 12
Thermodynamics, You Take It From Here, Part 11
Thermodynamics, You Take It From Here, Part 10
Thermodynamics, You Take It From Here, Part 9