An Odd Way To Get Even

, , , , | Right | December 5, 2019

(I have just boxed six cupcakes for a customer.)

Customer: “You know what? Gimme two more. I don’t like uneven numbers.”

Me: *looking pointedly at the six cupcakes in the box* “Yes, sir.”

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That Would Have Your Bank Account Tied Up

, , , , , | Working | December 5, 2019

I was working in a school uniform shop one summer and in the heat, we were all a bit drowsy; the fan had broken and we were about half an hour away from closing time. 

A lady, the mother of someone I knew, came into the store to buy two school ties for her daughter and was served by my colleague. 

About two minutes later, she walked back into the store with her receipt out, her daughter right behind her, and explained that she’d been charged for 21 ties rather than 2! Our shop has a reputation for being expensive, but I don’t know how she thought we were charging over £100 for two ties; the price should have been around £12!

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A Science Teacher’s Best Friend

, , , , | Learning | November 20, 2019

(I have a chemistry teacher who is a bit of a mad scientist.)

Teacher: “Today we’re going to learn something about diamonds. So, what do you know about diamonds?”

Student: “They’re really hard?”

Teacher: “Yes, that’s exactly right. But where people get confused is that they think because diamonds are hard they’re strong. Come up to the front and take a look at this diamond.”

(Students go up and he scratches some glass with the diamond and we all have a look at it.)

Teacher: *gets out hammer* “So, diamonds are hard, but they’re actually very brittle.”

(He then brings down the hammer and smashes the diamond to smithereens. The class is briefly stunned into silence.)

Student: “Umm, wasn’t that expensive?”

Teacher: “I don’t think so; the teacher before me left some industrial diamonds in a cupboard so I’ve just been smashing one every year.”

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Who Can Math Before Coffee?

, , , | Right | November 19, 2019

(I’m a flight attendant. I ask a passenger what she wants to drink.) 

Passenger: “Coffee… black with two sugars, please.”

(I repeat it back to confirm and she nods. I hand her a coffee with two sugar packets on the side.)

Passenger: *as she takes it from me* “Two more sugars, please.”

Me: “Oh, sorry, I thought you said two.” 

Passenger: “I did. But when I said two I really mean four.”

Me: “…”

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She Must Not Look Up Very Often

, , , , , | Friendly | November 12, 2019

(I am in the fourth grade, about ten years old, when the Hale-Bopp Comet is visible. My mom is chatting with a classmate’s mom who knows I like science.)

Classmate’s Mom: “Maybe you can bring [My Name] over to show us the comet. We don’t know what to look for.”

Me: “It’s that big thing in the sky that normally isn’t there.”

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