Customer: “Where do you keep the water made with oxygen?”
Me: “Sir, all water is made with oxygen.”
Customer: “Is it?”
Me: “I hope so!”
Customer: “So, why do some waters cost more than others? Do they have extra oxygen?”
Me: “If they had extra oxygen, they wouldn’t be water anymore.”
Customer: “Oh… is that how you make Gatorade?”
Related:
H2-D’oh!, Part 6
H2-D’oh!, Part 5
H2-D’oh!, Part 4
H2-D’oh!, Part 3
We have a 40%-off sale in the store, but there are these ugly ruffled T-shirts that we’ve been selling going for 60%. A customer brings the shirt up to me, and I ring it up.
Me: “$14.99 for the shirt, ma’am.”
Customer: “I thought it was on sale.”
Me: “Yeah, for 60%.”
Customer: “Oh, so there’s not an additional 40% off with the 60%?”
Me: “…No. We’re not selling 100%-off shirts.”
Customer: *Sighs* “Well, I guess I’ll take it, then.”
And yes, I know 40% off of 60% would be 24% of the original price, not free, but we all know that’s not what the customer was thinking.
Related:
They’re Not In The Upper Percentile, Part 4
They’re Not In The Upper Percentile, Part 3
They’re Not In The Upper Percentile, Part 2
They’re Not In The Upper Percentile
I work at a tourist site in Alaska at an information desk.
Tourist: “What time do the northern lights come on?”
Me: “Well… they don’t come ‘on’ like a light switch. It’s dependent on lots of conditions, such as—”
Tourist: “Where does the sun go when it sets?”
I’m thrown by the sudden change in query.
Me: “Same as it goes anywhere else: beyond the horizon.”
Tourist: “I thought it would be different up here.”
Me: “No, same sun as what you have back at home.”
Tourist: “Oh… Do you take American money?”
I am in my neuroanatomy class. The professor puts up a diagram of the brain with various regions highlighted in different colors for easy emphasis and differentiation. A student in the lecture hall raises their hand.
Student: “Is the brain really colored that way?”
They weren’t joking.
I am a lifeguard. A man walks up to me.
Swimmer: “What temperature is lane three in the lap pool?”
Me: “Seventy-seven degrees.”
Swimmer: *Scratches his head* “That’s too cold. What temperature are the other lanes?”
