Demand A Battery Of Tests ASAP

, , , , , | Right | May 24, 2010

(A customer comes to pick up a phone they had dropped off for repair.)

Customer: “I’m so glad it is working! What was the problem?”

Me: “It just needed to be charged.”

Customer: “No, it was fully charged Friday and then just died.  There must be something else wrong with it. Please look at it further.”

Me: “Well, I did. The battery was at 0%; in fact, you still will need to charge it for quite a while. It is working, though.”

Customer: “No, you keep it and keep looking.” *leaves*

(The customer comes back two hours later. A coworker handles it.)

Customer: “So is it okay?”

Coworker: “Yes, it turns out there was a problem with the phone’s N.R.G. We have corrected it.”

Customer: “So that explains it!”

1 Thumbs
2,680

Post-Grammatic Stress

, , , , , | Right | April 26, 2010

(I have just completed a transaction and given the customer their coffee.)

Me: “Have a great day!”

Customer: “What did you say to me?”

Me: “I said have a great day.”

Customer: “Well, that’s impossible. I am an English teacher. It’s impossible to have a great day. Something will always go wrong to prevent ‘great’ from being the correct adjective to describe ‘day’. I find you wishing me the impossible insulting.”

Me: “Have a decent day?”

Customer: “Thank you.”

(The customer sits down to eat near the register and opens a book. Another customer orders and pays.)

Me: “Have a great day!”

Original Customer: “I heard that!”

1 Thumbs
4,320

Innocence Lost

, , | Right | April 20, 2010

Me: “[Company], how can I help you?”

Caller: “Yea, I need you guys to work on my car’s transmission. How much?”

Me: “Ma’am, we don’t work on cars here. We print things.”

Caller: “But… but I Googled [Company] and I got you guys.”

Me: “I’m sorry, Google was wrong. I don’t know how we got on there.”

Caller: “But I Googled you! You have to do it!”

Me: “Ma’am, we have copiers here, not a garage. Try the Yellow Pages?”

Caller: *sounding very betrayed* “I can’t believe I Googled you.”

1 Thumbs
2,101

Reaching New Heights Of Stupidity

, , , | Right | April 19, 2010

(I am on the beginner chairlift with two of my adult students.)

Customer: “So, when does the mountain close?”

Me: “We stay open until there is no snow left. This year, the guess is late April.”

Customer: “So, it’s open past daylight-savings time?”

Me: “Yes, it is. How is daylight-savings time related to the mountain being open?”

Customer: “Well, with that extra hour of sunlight, the snow must melt extra fast!”

1 Thumbs
1,999

A-B-C, Easy As D-U-H

, , , , , | Right | April 19, 2010

Customer: “Hey, can you help me find this book?”

Me: “Sure.”

(He holds up a piece of paper with the title and author of a book on it. I find it on the shelves and hand it to him.)

Customer: “Thanks! How’d you do that so fast?”

Me: “Well, I’ve worked here awhile, and the books are all in alphabetical order by author’s name.”

Customer: “What do you mean?”

Me: “Alphabetical order. Like the alphabet song? You know, A’s before B’s?”

(He looks confused, but then widens his eyes.)

Customer: “The letters actually go in that order? I thought that song was just to remember them all!”

1 Thumbs
4,655