Driving Home The Point

, , , , | Working | June 6, 2017

(I, my aunt, and a family friend all carpool out to eat at a restaurant that usually provides good service and great food. Our friend orders a glass of wine.)

Waitress: “Here’s your wine. You’re not driving tonight, are you?”

Friend: “Oh, no, we all came in one car and I’m not the driver. No worries, dear!”

Waitress: “Okay.”

(We figure that’s the end of it, but then we get our meals.)

Friend: “That glass of wine was so good! Could I get another one, please?”

Waitress: “Oooookay, but that’s your last one for the night, okay?”

(Our friend looks upset, so at this point I decide to step in.)

Me: “[Waitress], I really appreciate what you’re doing here; drunk driving is a serious issue. However, as we’ve already told you, she is not the driver tonight, so please just get her what she asks.”

Waitress: “Hey. You drink, you drive, you lose!”

Me: “She’s not driving! Listen to us! We all came in one car and it’s her–” *point to my aunt* “–that’s driving us all home. No one at this table is getting behind any wheel after drinking alcohol, okay?”

(The waitress wordlessly walked away, but our friend still looked a little embarrassed. We reassured her that she was fine and decided not to push the issue with a manager. After we paid and left, I glanced behind us as we were getting in the car and saw the same waitress watching us all get in to make sure our friend wasn’t driving! I just shook my head and decided not to upset our friend any more by telling her.)

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Unfiltered Story #87836

, , | Unfiltered | May 31, 2017

I work in a large retail chain in the electronics department. All the new release movies (DVD and Blu-Ray) are stocked on the front endcaps in the middle of the entertainment section, so that they’re blatantly visible upon entering the department. While older movies are scattered around by genre or price and can be tough to find, the new releases are literally right in front of the department and clearly marked on the shelf as such

I’m at the kiosk and the phone rings, it’s a customer asking a question about a tablet trade in, which we don’t handle (that’s done through another department). While I’m explaining this, an older woman already with a scowl on her face walks up. I give her the universal 1 minute finger, mute the phone, and tell her I’ll be with her in a second.

The gentleman on the phone then proceeds to ask several questions about newer tablets, including if other stores in the chain have them in stock, etc. It’s becoming a rather long phone call, but since this is info I do have, and he called first, I’m not simply going to hang up on him.

The woman walks back over at me and glares. “That’s longer than a second!”

I mute the phone, apologize, explain I wasn’t expecting this to be a long phone call and I’ll be with her in just one moment.

As I stand up, I see another customer at the kiosk and begin reaching for my radio to call for backup as I still cant get off the phone.

Woman glares harder. “Are you alone over here?!? Is there someone else who can help me, I’ve been waiting!”

Now already HOLDING the radio, I tell her “give me just a moment” (she glares again) as I call for assistance.

Another employee comes over, who she IGNORES OUTRIGHT to continue to stare daggers at me. My coworker then helps another customer. I finally get off the phone.

Me: “Sorry, I apologize for that, how can I help you?”

Customer: “I’m looking for (newly released movie)” Glare.

Me: On DVD or Blu-Ray?”

Customer muttering “Not Blu-Ray!”

I’m not sure I heard her correctly,so I doublecheck “So you want the DVD then?

“Yes!”

I walk about 10 steps past where she’s been staring daggers at me, get the disc off the very top front of the shelf, turn around and hand it to her with a smile.

“Here you go, have a nice day.”

She looked set to explode.

Had she just looked around for five seconds instead of fuming at me for helping the person who called before she even entered the building, she’d have been out 10 minutes ago.

In Massachusetts It’s Pronounced Any Way They Want

, , , | Right | May 29, 2017

Customer: “Hello, I’ll take a medium decaf ‘cup of chino.’”

Me: “Medium decaf cappuccino?”

Customer: “Yes, ‘cup of chino.’” *I turn around to make her drink* “Where are you from?”

Me: “I’m from Cape Cod. How about you?”

Customer: “Oh, I thought you were foreign. It’s pronounced ‘cup of chino,’ honey, not ‘cappuccino.’”

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Cork-Screwing With Them

, , , , | Working | April 27, 2017

(This story was told to me about a long time ago by my grandfather. He is working on site with a new guy who is put in charge of moving materials with the heavy equipment. New Guy has been in one spot for a while moving materials from left to right, always doing a full 360 degree turn. The boss notices this, then after a while he turns to my grandfather.)

Boss: “Hey, watch this.” *runs out to the new guy* “HEY! HEY, [New Guy!] WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!”

New Guy: “Wh— Only what you told me to, sir!”

Boss: “No, no, that machine you’re sitting in. Have you been making full turns to move this stuff the whole time?”

New Guy: “Yes.”

Boss: “WHAT?! Don’t you realize that operates on a corkscrew? Turn it the way you’ve been turning it enough and you’ll twist it right off, effectively destroying it!”

New Guy: *nervously* “But nobody told me th—”

Boss: “How many times have you spun this thing?”

New Guy: “I don’t know, maybe thirty?”

Boss: “HOLY S***! YOU’RE RIGHT NEAR THE LIMIT! YOU’D BETTER SIT HERE AND START SPINNING THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION UNTIL IT STOPS TURNING AT THE BOTTOM, RIGHT NOW!”

New Guy: *almost panicking* “Yes, sir. I’m so sorry! I’m sorry!”

(The boss walks back to my grandfather.)

Grandfather: “Please don’t tell me that you, the boss, think it operates on a corkscrew?”

(The boss looks at the new guy just spinning the equipment again and again and breaks down laughing.)

Grandfather: “You’re such an a**.”

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Slacker Packer

, , , , | Working | March 29, 2016

(I work at a distributor’s warehouse as a pick/pack/ship foreman. Early in the morning the boss is patrolling the floor and sees a packer just standing at his queue.)

Boss: “Everything okay? You don’t appear to have packed anything yet.”

Packer: “It’s fine.” *adds a book to the box* “I’m just taking a breather.”

Boss: “Fine, just make sure your queue doesn’t get backed up. These shipments need to go out today.”

(My boss walks off to take care of other matters and returns about an hour later. The packer is again just standing at his queue, which now has several more orders.)

Boss: “What are you doing? This is the same order you had when I was here last time.” *looks in box* “You haven’t even added anything since I left. Get to work!”

(The packer begins to pack items. Boss goes to take care of other matters and returns about another hour later. The packer is again just standing around. The queue is completely backed up. The same order is in front of him, partially packed.)

Boss: “Do you have a problem?”

Packer: “No.”

Boss: “I need workers not slackers. Look, you have a choice. You can either do your job, or you can go home. At this point I don’t care which.”

Packer: “Fine, I’m going home.”

(The packer leaves. Boss goes to his office and fills out a termination form for the packer. The next day, the packer comes into the warehouse and the boss stops him at the door.)

Boss: “What are you doing here?”

Packer: “I’m going to work.”

Boss: “No, you’re not. You quit yesterday.”

Packer: “No, I didn’t. You said I could go home.”

Boss: “You quit when you left the job site. Go home.”

(The boss shuts the door in his face and walks away. Later, an employee approaches the boss.)

Employee: “Do you know what’s wrong with [Packer]? He’s just standing by the door with his mouth gaping.”

Boss: “I’ll take care of it.” *to the packer* “You have five minutes to leave before I call security on you for trespassing.

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