It’s Not Just A Cold Shoulder Anymore

, , , , , , | Related | January 19, 2018

(We have been having record-breaking cold temperatures for the past few days. My mom is complaining, and then she drops this gem.)

Mom: “It’s so cold I could key somebody’s car with my nipples without even trying!”

Dad: “YOU DID WHAT WITH YOUR NIPPLES?”

Unfiltered Story #103646

, | Unfiltered | January 14, 2018

(Every night we have to clear out the case of all fish and tags. We have to do this early because if we wait too long then we will be there after we close. We also have to put the case doors up which are thick glass that rise between the counter and the shop floor)

ME: Hello Ma’am, is there anything I can help you with?

Customer: You do not signs, I do not know what the prices are?

(Me hoping she is looking for something specific)
Me: Are you looking for a particular fish or something else?

Customer: I am looking for a white fish but I do not know the prices.
(I can barely hear the customer when she talks so I assume she can barely hear me too so I begin to speak louder)
(I go to the scales and find out the prices for the Haddock, Cod, and the grey sole)
ME: The haddock is fresh at $11.99, the Cod is previously frozen for $9.99 and the grey sole is $8.99.

Customer: I want the haddock.

(I got the customer the haddock and weight the fish up.

Customer: whats that on the scale.

(Our scales tend to have debris, when i mean debris i mean there was crumbs left over from the coconut cod that we also sell in our case.)

ME: That is the coco cod that is left on the scale. Would you like me to go to another scale.

Customer: Yes please.
( I go o another scale and weigh the fish up but before I can do anything else)

Customer: May you wash the scale.

(I reply back to her what she just said and she gave me those “Yeah, om my god becky, thats like what i totally said looks”)

(I give the scale to the associate who looks at me funny and i just simply tell him to just wash the scale. He asks if I want to wash the other one but I said no. Through this he understood quickly that it was because of a customer.)

(I go to move to check up on other customers but…)

Customer: What are you doing

Me: I was going to help one of the other customers since we have to wait for the scale to clean.

Customer: No, you are waiting on me.

(I immediatly realized that this B**** was for real, I knew before she finished her sentence that I would be called into the managers office about this soon)

(I waited about five minutes, before the co-worker realized that I needed that scale for the current customer.)

(When I go the scale back i put the fish back on the scale)

Customer: I want another fish

Me: do you still want this fish?

Customer: What do you think?

Me: I do not now (In my head im thinking the katy perry song, Your hot and your cold, your yes and your no)

Customer: I want another fish.

Me: Do you want the same type of fish?

Customer: yes

(I weight the new fish and about to put the fish in a plastic bag before she can say)

Customer: I want the fish wrapped in paper.

Me: Okay, (I walk over to the meat department because we do not have a paper wrapper as soon as I am done I give her her fish)

Customer: May I have your name?

ME: yes( in the back of my mind I knew if I said my name I would get the hit so I used a made up name)

ME: my name is Joseph

(the customer next to the case loudly says)

Customer 2: She was a F***** idiot.

(I nearly died)

The Rewards Program Is Not Its Own Reward

, , , , , | Working | January 12, 2018

(I am shopping with a friend. I notice a new employee at the register. While most employees at this store wear clothes with goth and/or metal aesthetics, she stands out; she is absolutely decked out with the store’s merchandise, and she has dyed a bright blue streak in her hair. Initially, I think little of it, and when I’m finished with my shopping, I go to her register to pay. Then…)

Employee: “Okay, and what is your email address?”

Me: “Why are you asking me for that information?”

Employee: *snottily* “Management says that everybody who shops here is joining our rewards program. Give me your email address.”

Me: “I have never heard of that policy before. What is my email address being used for?”

Employee: “Everybody who shops here is required to sign up for the rewards program to purchase. I am signing you up.”

Me: “No, thank you. You haven’t even explained what it is.”

Employee: “We will send you frequent promotional messages telling you what’s new at [Store]. You can also earn points with every purchase. It’s free money, and who doesn’t like that?”

Me: “No, thanks; I don’t want any emails from here. I want to pay for my stuff.” *pulls out wallet*

Employee: “I mean, I guess you could not join, if you really hate getting good deals and free money.”

Me: “I don’t want emails, thank you. Please let me pay.”

Employee: “But you’ve already earned points. I mean, there’s no need to be so wasteful.”

Me: “No, thank you. Here is my credit card.”

Employee: “If you don’t sign up for a rewards program, I’m giving them to the next customers. Those two guys behind you are going to steal your points.”

Me: “They can have them. Please let me buy my stuff.”

Employee: *glares as she slowly swipes my debit card on both sides* “Well, people have turned down joining the rewards program and regretted it before. Are you—”

Me: “I do not want to join your rewards program.”

Employee: “Ugh, fine.”

(I got my card and purchased stuff from her with no negative repercussions. She did indeed push the program on the two guys behind me; they obliged pretty quickly as she made passive-aggressive remarks about my intelligence. My friend reported similar behavior when she tried to pay later on, and even a few months later, when it turned out the employee not only managed to stick around but works most days and hours of the week. We have not returned since!)

The Merry Adventures Of Mr. Plow

, , , , , | Romantic | January 12, 2018

(I, a twenty-three year old woman, work third shift at a gas station, alone. It is the first major snowfall of the season and everybody who owns a plow is out there. A guy in his thirties comes in to buy a soda and cigarettes.)

Me: *after I scan them* “Anything else?”

Customer: *handing me the money* “A plowing partner.”

(As I’m putting it in the drawer, I suddenly wonder if he wasn’t talking about clearing snow. I decide to ignore the comment as I hand him his change. Apparently he also rethought his words.)

Customer: “I just realized that might have come off the wrong way…”

(I reassured him I knew what he meant, but that accidental suggestive comment actually made my night.)

Maybe Allowed You To BREATHE, For One?

, , , , | Right | January 9, 2018

(As I’m ringing up a customer who is only purchasing a small item:)

Me: “Would you like a bag, sir?”

Customer:Of course I do; I don’t want to be arrested.”

Me: *fake smiles as I put his item in a bag*

Customer: “Why did you ask? Are you required to ask customers?”

Me: “No, but a lot of people either bring their own bags or do not want to waste a bag when they don’t mind carrying their items back.”

Customer: “That’s just preposterous! Why would they do that?”

Me: “Well, it’s just better for the environment.”

Customer: *scoffs* “The environment?! What has the environment ever done for me?!”

(I’m an environmental scientist major.)

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