Doctor Nose Best

, , , , | Healthy | November 21, 2017

(I am a pediatrician. A woman has come in with her little girl who is suffering from a rather infected finger. He diagnoses her with a staph infection, prescribes some antibiotics, and sends them home. At the end of the antibiotics the woman is back in his office, and the infection has spread to several areas; a spot on the little girl’s face, the inside of her nose, and a spot on her leg. She demands that I run a million tests because I’m clearly a “failure of a doctor.”)

Me: “Ma’am, it appears that your daughter has spread the infection to other areas of her body, most likely through scratches or by touching a scratch that was already there.”

Mother: “That’s impossible! How would she get one in her nose? You’re just making excuses because you don’t want to run any tests!”

Me: “I can assure you, ma’am, that’s not the case. If I felt the need to, I would certainly run more tests, but there is no need for all that time, effort, and money when I can clearly see what the cause is. It’s more than 99% certain that she spread it through her nose by a scratch as the bacteria causing the infection is located under her fingernails. She picked her nose, scratched it, and spread the infection there.”

Mother: *turns bright red* “That’s ridiculous! My little princess would never do anything so disgusting as pick her nose! We’re just going to go and get a second opinion! You’ll be run out of business, you’ll see!”

(We turn around to see her “little princess” with a finger very far up her nose indeed. The mother grows nearly purple at this point and swats her daughter’s hand away from her face.)

Me: “So I’ll be prescribing that next round of antibiotics, then?”

Unfiltered Story #100547

, | Unfiltered | November 20, 2017

(My dad and I are sitting in the living room discussing one of our cats, who is sitting on the other side of the room.)
Me: Look at her, she’s so pretty.
Dad: Does she have any paws right now?
Me: WHAT?
Dad: Can you see her paws? I like it when she tucks her paws under herself and you can’t see them.
(I look back to the cat. After a bit, she adjusts herself.)
Me: Dad, look, she doesn’t have paws anymore!

Transpetting

, , , , | Working | November 19, 2017

(I love cats. I had two, and last summer my mother-in-law surprised me with a third one. She very adamantly wanted to find us a long-haired kitten, and ultimately adopted a little Maine Coon-mix girl… or so we thought. Because of “her” long hair concealing the, uh, back bits, we don’t notice “she” is a “he” until shortly before his first vet visit at six months. At the vet, we go through the standard first-time visit procedure, answering questions about his health, diet, behaviour, etc. We continuously catch ourselves referring to the cat as “she,” and explain the mix-up to the vet, thinking it’s a funny and probably somewhat common occurrence.)

Vet’s Assistant: “She’s trans.”

(We smile at that. She doesn’t smile back. She is dead serious.)

Vet’s Assistant: “No, I mean it. She’s trans.”

(It stopped being cute immediately and started to become concerning. How in the h*** do you get to be a veterinary assistant and still think that a cat has ANY idea about gender and transgenderism?!)

Passenger Alert

, , , , , | Friendly | November 16, 2017

(I am heading home on a packed train that requires you to pay your fare by inserting a ticket into a turnstile before getting on. [Passenger #1] gets on, stays near the door, and begins obviously looking around for something, but nobody knows what. This is not a big deal, though; the doors close, and the train gets moving.)

Passenger #1: “Does anybody have $40? Does anybody have $40? I need $40! Does anybody have $40? I need to get home! I can’t afford the bus! It’s only a short trip!”

([Passenger #2] quietly shakes their head and rolls their eyes, refusing to make eye contact with her.)

Passenger #1: “Come on, guys! Somebody has money! You, in the suit! I know you have $40! I need $40 to get home on the bus, or I will be sleeping on the streets tonight!”

Passenger #3: “Ma’am, I don’t have cash on hand, and besides, the bus fare is about $7 at most for one trip.”

Passenger #1: “No! You are lying to me! I need $40 to pay for the bus! You, with the nice jacket! I am broke! I have no money on me and I need to go home! I only need one trip!”

([Passenger #4] puts her head down and laser-focuses on her phone.)

Passenger #1: “Nobody cares, huh!? Everybody’s so wrapped up in themselves that they cannot spare an old lady some change so she can go home to her family! Fine, I need $20! $20 is the bare minimum I need to get home! Oh, come on! Nobody?! Nobody is generous! Nobody is listening! Nobody cares at all!”

(At this point, the train stops and [Passenger #1] immediately stops her rant and tries to look inconspicuous as the doors open to let new passengers on. Not many can get on or off though, and the train is quickly moving along on its schedule.)

Passenger #1: “God, do I even exist to you people!? If I were drunk, dirty, and homeless, all of you would have given me $40! You would give all the money in the world to hopeless bums that contribute nothing to society, but not for an old lady like me with a home, job, family, and future! How do you live with yourself? Do you want me to sleep on the streets with those drunks tonight? Fine! $10! $10 from at least two of you people is all I need! Hello?! Nobody?! Not even $10?! You would give $10 to me if I were drunk, dirty, and homeless! And those bums wouldn’t even use that money to pay for the bus; they’re just looking to get drugs! I would use it for a bus fare because I have a home to go to!”

(The train stops at a popular stop, and one that I am getting off at, as well. Most of the passengers file out while others wait to get on, which [Passenger #1] takes note of and gets off of the train.)

Passenger #1: “Last chance! The people on this train are selfish and cruel!”

Passenger #5: “Ma’am, is everything all right? Do you need help?”

Passenger #1: “No! Nobody will give me $40 for the bus so I can go home!”

Passenger #5: *taken aback* “Um… Sorry, I can’t help you with that. Bus fare for a one-way trip is $7, if that helps.” *moves away from [Passenger #1]*

Passenger #1: *shoots [Passenger #5] a glare and storms off*

(It was the weirdest thing. I later witnessed her getting into a screaming match with a young adult passenger in the station’s hallway. The young adult passenger shouted that she was fed up with [Passenger #1] begging for money when nobody wanted to give it, and also that she was fed up with her being a terrible liar and having the gall to insult people who contribute more to society than she ever would. [Passenger #1] screamed over her to complain about how awful the new generation is because the young adult wouldn’t give her money. I decided to stay out of it, and when I informed a security guy nearby, he just rolled his eyes, said he was keeping an eye on it, but also said something along the lines of, “Just let her get what I’m surprised she didn’t get weeks ago, and don’t get involved,” in reference to [Passenger #1]. I hope that [Passenger #1] and the young adult’s screaming match didn’t escalate into a physical fight!)

You’ve Been Selected For A Random Credit Check

, , , , , , | Working | November 16, 2017

(During my week of exploring professional opportunities in the Boston metro area, I sign up to attend an evening networking event at a hotel. For what it’s worth, I am an Indian-American, with no accent, and this hotel is in an affluent, predominantly Caucasian suburb just west of Boston. I arrive at the hotel several hours early and plan to work on my other job search activities while having a late lunch. The waitress immediately seats me and gives me a menu. I order my sandwich.)

Waitress: “Okay, so, that is [sandwich] and just water. Great! I will immediately place your order. Now, I just need to keep your credit card on file.”

Me: “Um, why would you need to keep my credit card with you?”

Waitress: “Well, that is our policy for our hotel guests.”

Me: “I’m not a guest here; I’m a little early for an evening networking event on your patio.” *points to the outdoor space just past the patio doors* “Also, I have never experienced or heard of this type of hotel restaurant policy. Don’t you keep hotel tabs?”

Waitress: “Oh.” *pause* “Well, I still need to hold onto your credit card. It is our policy.”

Me: “Well, I will just pay for my meal with cash instead.”

Waitress: “You can pay with cash… and I still need to hold onto the card.”

(At that point, I am very upset with this terrible treatment and decide to leave.)

Me: “This is absolutely horrible service! You clearly do not want to serve me. I am going complain to your management!”

(Still fuming, I ask the front desk person if this hotel has a policy on keeping guests’ credit cards “on file” while they are dining in the restaurant.)

Front Desk Staff: *with a completely bewildered expression* “Um, no, ma’am. I have never heard of that policy, and I am certain it is not our hotel’s policy. I am very sorry you experienced that from our restaurant staff.”

(In the end, another coffee shop gave me two free desserts after hearing this story. I also returned to the hotel for the networking program, walked straight through that same restaurant with no problems, and enjoyed that event.)

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