A Difficult Combo

, , , , | Right | February 26, 2018

(I am answering a take-out call.)

Me: “Hello, this is [Chinese Restaurant].”

Customer: “Yeah, can I order some food?”

Me: “Yes, go ahead.”

Customer: “Do you have sweet and sour chicken?”

Me: “Yeah, we’ve got the entree and combo meal.”

Customer: “What’s the difference?”

Me: “The combo meal is for one person and comes with rice. The entree is double the size, but doesn’t come with rice.”

Customer: “If I order the entree, what does it come with?”

Me: “Just the chicken; if you want rice, you have to order separate.”

Customer: “Oh, God, why do you have to make it difficult? Just give me some fried rice with it, then. Do you have General Gau’s chicken?”

Me: “Yeah. Same situation, though; it’s combo or entree.”

Customer: “What’s the difference with this one?”

Me: “The same thing. Combo meal is one person, entree is bigger.”

Customer: *sighs* “Get me the entree. Does that come with rice?”

Me: “Nope, you’ll have to order rice separate. Did you want—”

Customer: *upset* “You know what? You’re making this way too difficult.” *hangs up*

Littered With Hints About His Litter

, , , , , | Right | February 17, 2018

(I am working alone and a family with small children walks in. The children start running around, messing with the displays and trying to go behind the counter, while both parents ignore them and order. I am trying to both control the children and take the order at the same time. I am very much an animal person, but not so much a children person.)

Father: “Children are amazing, but they do take a lot of patience, huh?”

Me: *frustrated but still smiling* “I am actually not planning on have children. My dog is my baby!”

Father: “Yes, but you have to be patient with children.”

Me: “And that’s why I love my dog!”

(He was fuming, but his wife got the hint and quickly gained control of their three young kids. Thank you, kind woman!)

Sick Of Your Compliments

, , , , , | Romantic | February 17, 2018

(My husband has been sick with a fever for a few days, and I have spent the weekend taking care of him. On the second morning, I feel his forehead.)

Me: *encouragingly* “You’re not as hot as you were yesterday!”

Husband: “Give me a break! Lots of people aren’t as attractive when they’re sick.”

(Nothing wrong with his sense of humor!)

The Fishy Customers Are The Most Interesting

, , , , | Right | February 17, 2018

(I’m finishing ringing up a customer and what appears to be his grandson.)

Me: *giving them their order* “Enjoy your movie!”

Customer: “Want to see something cool?”

Me: *curious* “Um… Okay.”

Customer: *holds up a picture on his cell phone of himself holding what looks like a very large fish* “I caught that myself, back in the creek over there!”

Me: *not knowing what to say* “Oh. Nice!”

Customer: “He took the picture!” *gesturing to his grandson*

Me: “Good job!”

(They took their order and left. I’m still slightly confused as to why he would want to show me that. It made for an interesting story, though!)

That Is “Pretty” Awesome, Part 2

, , , , , , | Right | February 16, 2018

(While working a temporary job at a thrift store, I am usually working in the back room, sorting donations. Every so often, I’ll be called out to clean up the floor, as I am one of the few full-time workers. I am sorting the women’s plus-size section.)

Customer: “Oh, hey, could you hand me that black skirt there, right next to the jeans?”

(I oblige and hand her the hanger.)

Customer: *looks at the size tag* “Oh, no, this is too big for me. But it looks like it would fit you.”

(I am a large guy, who sometimes indulges in cross-dressing.)

Me: “Well, thank you, ma’am. Are you sure it’s my color, though?”

(I keep sorting the rack as we talk.)

Customer: *sensing that I’m not joking* “Well, of course. I bet it’d look good with that black and white top in the next row.”

Me: “That sounds like a good mix. There’s just one problem: employees aren’t allowed to purchase items. I’m not sure why.”

Customer: “Well, maybe you can find something similar at another store.”

(The conversation goes on for a little while and when I finish, I see an eight-year-old girl by the books, trying to reach up for a toy on the shelf. As I hand it to her, she asks me this:)

Little Girl: “Mister, do you dress up like a girl?”

Me: “Yes, I do, but not when I’m at work.”

Little Girl: “I bet you’re really pretty.”

(This immediately brightens my mood until her mother steps in.)

Mother: “No, he isn’t. Boys aren’t meant to be pretty. Only girls are.”

(The little girl looks at her mother, back to me, and to the customer I was helping.)

Little Girl: “Mommy’s lying. You would be very pretty! Like a… giant princess!”

Customer & Me: *laughing*

Me: “Thanks, little girl! I’m going to put that on my business card!”

Little Girl: “Okay! Bye-bye, Princess!”

Related:
That Is ‘Pretty’ Awesome

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