The Social Justice War Is Coming

, , , , , | Working | May 15, 2018

(I’m taking my friend to see a popular superhero film with an African American lead character on opening night.)

Me: “Hi, I’ll take two adults for the next showing of [Film] please.”

Employee: “No.”

Me: “Oh… Uh, is it sold out? We can hang around and get tickets to the showing after this one.”

Employee: “No, it hasn’t sold out, but in case it does, those seats are saved for the people who this movie is actually for, to make sure they can see it tonight. This movie is for them, not us!”

(My friend and I exchange looks of complete confusion.)

Friend: “Excuse me?”

Employee: *sighs* “Of course you wouldn’t get it. This movie is very meaningful to African Americans! It’s the first time they’ve been the lead in a blockbuster superhero film! We’re white; this movie doesn’t mean anything to us, so the seats in that theater are reserved for the people who deserve it most after waiting so long to see themselves represented on screen. Pick another movie!”

(My friend and I are completely stunned and speechless. The employee then speaks to a customer that has come up behind us, who is African American.)

Employee: “Sir, are you here to see [Film]?”

Customer: “Yes, but I believe these two gentlemen were before me.”

Employee: “No, they’re still deciding what they want to see. How many tickets for you?”

Customer: “Oh, just me.”

(The employee takes the customer’s money and prints out the ticket, all while my friend and I are still rendered speechless by what we are seeing.)

Employee: “I’m so happy to hand you this ticket today. Please accept my apology that it took so long, and know that I sincerely hope it gets better for you all going forward.”

(The customer looks about as confused as my friend and I first were, but he accepts the ticket and walks off to the theater.)

Friend: “Yeah, I think you can get your manager, now.”

(The employee rolls his eyes, goes out back, and returns with a woman who identifies herself as the manager. I explain the situation to the manager, whose expression turns to one of shock and anger.)

Manager: “[Employee], please tell me that isn’t what actually happened.”

Employee: “Yes, it is what happened! This movie isn’t for us; it’s for the African Americans! They need this movie! They shouldn’t have to come in to a sold-out theater and have to wait for another showing for a movie that’s already many years overdue for them because a white person who this movie means nothing to is taking up a seat that should rightfully be theirs!”

Manager: *after a moment of taking in what she’s just heard* “Office.”

Employee: “Wait, what?”

(The manager just stares at the employee until he goes out back again. She then prints out our tickets without charging us and reaches under the desk and hands us each one free movie pass.)

Manager: “I’m so sorry that happened; treating our customers in that way is beyond unacceptable. Please accept my apologies, and my personal promise that you’ll never have any sort of issue with that particular employee in this establishment again.”

Me: “Oh, no, we didn’t get anyone in real serious trouble, did we?”

Manager: “Well, while I can’t get into specific detail, if anyone were to face consequences over this, I assure you that it would have been their own doing, not yours. Please enjoy your movie. I hope to see you again!”

Intricacies Are Lost When Your Nose Is So High In The Air

, , , | Right | May 14, 2018

(I’m an artist selling my work at a local festival. The day is just starting when a woman comes over and starts picking through my pieces.)

Customer: “Your prices are too high. Look at this!” *she holds up an intricately detailed bracelet* “No one’s going to pay [price] for this. You have to lower your prices.”

Me: “Ma’am, that took me eight hours to make, and—”

Customer: *sniffs, gestures around us* “Well, it’s too high for these people.”

Me: *speechless*

(I have no clue what she was thinking, but I sold dozens of pieces that day!)

One Door Closes, Another One Confuses

, , , , | Working | May 12, 2018

(My mother is looking to have some major work done in our basement: adding heating ducts, getting new cabinets in the kitchen, and putting a shower in the bathroom, among other things. Her father and grandfather owned a kitchen and cabinet company, so she grew up around contracting and has more knowledge than the average homeowner on structure and fixtures. She has hired a contractor who was a recommendation from a trusted and close family member, and she liked the work he did on their house. He has been over a few times to get an idea of the work to be done, and he has come over today with written plans and to knock down a bit of the walls to get an idea of how much work it will be.)

Mom: *pointing on the plans as she goes along* “In the bathroom, we have the two doors here currently. We want to keep them there. I know with the shower going here, [door #1] won’t open all the way. That’s fine. It has to swing this way, because if it swings the other way, you can’t open this [door #2].”

Contractor: “Okay, okay. I see. No, wait. If the shower goes there, [door #1] won’t be able to open all the way.”

Mom: “I know. I’m okay with that. We are keeping [door #1] as it is.”

Contractor: “Okay, so, I’m going to move [door #1] to swing this way so it doesn’t get in the way of the shower.”

Mom: “No, you’re not going to do anything to [door #1]. Keep [door #1] the way it is. If you move it, we can’t access [door #2].”

Contractor: “Okay. So, the shower goes here. And we are moving the [door #2] down here? We can’t do that; it won’t open here! We’ll move [door #2] down here and make [door #1] swing the other way.”

Mom: “No, you’re not listening. Don’t touch the doors. Keep them the way they are. Just put the shower here.”

Contractor: “Oh, okay. So, you want the shower here, then you want me to make [door #1] swing the other way and move [door #2] down here. Got it.”

Mom: *fed up* “NO!” *sigh* “Should we just go down there and look at it in person?”

(He hasn’t started the work yet, but I’m sure she will be close behind him at all times during the project.)

They Were Not In Concert When They Got To The Concert

, , , , , | Romantic | May 11, 2018

(I’m at a concert for a group I’m just getting into. I only know one of their songs but I’m having a great time. They take a pause, and the lead singer walks to the front of the stage.)

Singer: “When we were just getting here, we ran into a guy outside who was crying. He told us his girlfriend had just broken up with him, here. He’d been so pumped about going to a concert with his girlfriend, and once they got here, she left for good. So! Everyone in the audience! SAY, ‘THAT’S BULLS***!’”

Audience: “THAT’S BULLS***!”

Singer: “THAT’S BULLS***!”

Audience: “THAT’S BULLS***!”

(The concert proceeded as normal from that point on. To those of you who have been broken up with at events you and your partner went to together: that’s bulls***.)

Finally Said It

, , , , , | Right | May 9, 2018

(The store is jam-packed, and the systems and registers have been crashing. I get a customer who has been to the [Competitor] a couple stores down. Unfortunately, they are liquidating. A customer comes up to my register and I begin checking her out.)

Me: “Hi, did you find everything all right?”

Customer: “I have, thank you. Rather pleasant in here. [Competitor] was a cluster-f***, though.”

Me: “Uh-oh.”

Customer: “Yeah. Since they announced they’re closing, everyone and anyone mobbed the place. Worse than Black Friday.”

Me: “And I thought we were bad today. We had several crashes, and the line has been long.”

Customer: “You think that’s bad? [Competitor] has signs that say, ‘All Sales Final.’ When I get in line, the idiot in front of me is arguing with the cashier about not being able to return an item. And you would think this idiot knew how to read?! Holy s***, no! Hell, they even brought up the manager and tried explaining to him that he can’t do anything.”

Me: *laughing hysterically* “Wow! That is bad. You win.”

(I cashed her out and then worked out a return for the next customer. Thankfully, my store will still exist at the end of the month!)

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