Unfiltered Story #194413

, , | Unfiltered | May 18, 2020

(When slicing food at our deli, we must change our disposable gloves when switching between handling meat or cheese. As such, I try to slice as much of one as I can before switching to the other without getting pushy, since it moves the line faster and uses less gloves. However, this exact conversation happens multiple times a day.)

Me: *loud and clearly* “Hello, welcome to the deli, are you ordering any cheese today?”
Customer: “Half a pound of lean ham.”

(Without question, I change my gloves and get what the customer asks.)

Me: “Anything else for you today?”
Customer: “Quarter pound of swiss cheese.”
Me: *internally screaming*

She Wants Coffee So Dark It Bends SpaceTime To Be Served First

, , , , | Right | May 18, 2020

I’m in a well-known coffee shop, waiting in line. [Customer #1] ahead of me orders a cappuccino for herself and a scone for her small child. The barista hands her the scone and she goes down the end of the counter to wait for her cappuccino. I order an iced latte and go down to wait at the end of the counter.

[Customer #2] behind me orders a blended drink with no coffee in it and goes down to wait at the end of the counter. After a few minutes, [Customer #2]’s blended drink comes up.

Customer #1: *To [Customer #2]* “You ordered after me! Why is your drink first?”

[Customer #2] shrugs and leaves.

Customer #1: *to the barista* “Excuse me! Those people ordered after me and got their drink first! Where is my drink? Did you forget it? I had a cappuccino.”

The barista checks the labels on the drinks in line.

Barista: “Yep, I’m starting on it right now.”

Customer #1: “I can’t believe this! How hard is it to make a cappuccino? I can’t believe she got her drink before me.”

I want to point out that the blended drink goes in a different line and was made by a different barista who did not have a line of drinks to make, but I decide to say nothing. [Customer #1]’s drink comes out about a minute later.

Customer #1’s Child: “Can we sit down and eat?”

Customer #1: “No. I’m not staying another minute in here. This is terrible service!”

I actually thought it was rather quick!

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Pulling The Key Is The… Uh… Key

, , , , | Right | May 16, 2020

I’m the manager of a car rental agency in the downtown/financial district area of Boston. I am transferred to a call from a customer in apparent distress.

The customer yells at me that he cannot get his key out of the ignition of the Kia that he’s renting and I’m personally making him late because I’m an evil, masochistic SOB.

After listening to this for half a minute, I begin with: 

Me: “Sir, have you considered pulling the key harder?”

There is silence.

Caller: “Uh… no.”

There is an audible pop, followed by more silence.

Me: “Sir?”

Caller: “Bye.” *Click*

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Probably A Good Time To Stuff A Meatball In Your Mouth

, , , , , | Friendly | May 13, 2020

My friend is throwing a Christmas party. We get together every year, but this year, there are some new significant others, so I am nervous trying to make conversation. The “kids” — aka twenty-somethings — their SOs, and I are gathered in one room with half of the appetizers. My sister is talking about the spread.

Sister: “It’s a good thing I didn’t eat today. I’m eating a lot now.”

Friend #1: “Well, at least this is healthier. Look at all the vegetables and fruit.”

Sister: “Yeah, but do you see my plate? I have rolls, meatballs, and lots of cheese. Oh, and a carrot stick for good measure.”

Friend #2: “Could be worse. You could have gone to [Fast Food Place] and had a burger or something.”

Sister: “Exactly! Thanks, that makes it seem better.”

Me: “Well, if you think about it, you’ve had two or three rolls, at least six meatballs, and a lot of cheese, so it’s kind of like having two or three cheeseburgers.”

Friends: “…”

Sister: “All right, who invited her?”

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It’s Pretty Clear Who The “Bad Guy” Is

, , , , , , | Related | May 12, 2020

For the record, I still don’t know if I’m the good or the bad guy in this story. While I’m proud of myself for finally speaking my mind, I recognize that my actions were incredibly unprofessional.

Some background is required. Several years ago, I was part of a group of friends who met at [Person #1]’s house to play board games once a week. After several months with this group, I was let in on the Big Secret: [Person #1] was cheating on his wife with [Person #2]. I was let in on this secret in order for [Person #1] and [Person #2] to be able to act like a couple in front of the group of friends away from [Person #1]’s wife and discuss their relationship without having to hide the affair around the group.

The expectation was that I would keep the Big Secret. I was incredibly uncomfortable with this arrangement; I hadn’t asked for the information and did not want it. I think affairs are horrible and I felt terrible for [Person #1]’s wife. Things went sour shortly afterward, and I ended up leaving the group feeling extremely bitter. I should point out, however, that I never gave up the Big Secret.

Fast forward to this year. I work for an internationally-known gaming convention at the front desk, and this year I am taking time cards as the convention comes to a close. With this convention, employees go by pseudonyms instead of our real names. Someone I vaguely recognize hands me their time card. He looks at me and as I start to realize who it is, he says, “Do you remember me?” Just as I figure out who he is, he says, “You used to come over to my house to play board games.”

Yes, it is [Person #1]. I reply with, “And you’re cheating on your wife.” It just flies out of my mouth before I realize what I’m saying. He grows cold, says, “Yes, I am,” and walks off.

I’ve already handed the time card to my immediate supervisor, so I ask her to rifle through the cards. She pulls one out and reads his real name, and I start cursing. I start imagining all the different kinds of trouble I’m going to get in for being so rude to a coworker. I explain everything to my supervisor, and she advises me to walk around the expo hall for the next hour to calm down. I do as she recommends, and when I come back, I talk to the manager of all of the convention employees.

I explain to the manager my shared history with [Person #1], and before I can finish telling her what happened an hour earlier, she starts laughing! She says she finds the whole thing hilarious and that she would have done the exact same thing I did. [Person #1]’s behavior is disgusting and I have nothing to worry about. What a relief!

I go back to work with a huge weight off my shoulders. Because I went right to the top, I’m safe if [Person #1] complains to his immediate supervisor. And hey, I finally got to speak my mind!

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