Sometimes, Something Beautiful Happens…

, , , , , | Friendly | September 25, 2020

I’m heading to join my friends at their usual area in the cafeteria when one of them leaps from his seat and runs up to me.

Friend: *Excited* “[My Name]! Have you heard I just had sex?!”

Me: *Stunned* “Congratulations?”

The Lonely Island had released a song titled “I Just Had Sex,” and that was how I found out about it.

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Unfiltered Story #209632

, , | Unfiltered | September 23, 2020

I am a frequent customer at a small local coffee and bagel shop that also sells other thing like homemade pastries and sandwiches. The food and drinks are delicious and all of the items are made fresh and can take a while to make so there is often a pretty long line, especially around morning rush hour. On this day I enter the shop at about 9:45 am, so the morning rush has slowed. There are 3 people in front of me in line and the lady right in front of me looks incredibly angry. I have no idea how long she had been in the shop but she looks at me and warns me that if I want food here I’ll have to wait a really long time. I’m not sure what to say so I just smile and nod.

The lady rolls her eyes at me and continues to basically use passive aggressive body language to show she is annoyed. She is loudly sighing, tapping her foot, and shaking her head like she can’t believe how long this is taking. The two workers behind the counter don’t even notice because they are running around preparing orders for the two customers in front of us, but I am getting nervous about what she might do. In about five minutes they finish with the other customers and get to the lady, and she basically screams her order at them.

Her bagel is ready less than two minutes later, and she runs up to the counter, SLAMS her hand down, knocking over a sugar container and cream jug in the process. Everyone in the store looks at her. Without a word, she picks up her bagel, and storms out of the store, stopping to flip tables along the way. Just before she left she picked up a chair near the door and threw it across the room!

Just a tip, if you are in so much of a rush you can’t wait 7 minutes for your order without destroying the restaurant in anger, maybe just eat later?

You Just Made My Dayquil!

, , , , , , | Right | September 11, 2020

I have been chatting with a regular customer about the nasty cold I got over the weekend. The customer leaves with his materials. About a half-hour later, I get a call from our security guard.

Guard: “Where are you?”

Me: “In the warehouse.”

Guard: “Stay there; [Customer] is on his way over.”

Customer: “I felt bad that you were sick so I stopped at the store.”

He handed me a bottle of Dayquil. If all my customers were like that, I might actually enjoy my job!

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When You Can’t Mask The “Bad Day”

, , , , | Right | September 9, 2020

My grandfather died yesterday, and unfortunately, I can’t afford to call out on a time-and-a-half day to mourn. The company I work for has mandated that ALL stores require a mask to shop with us. My state has also mandated this for all stores.

A man and his wife walk into my store, where I am required to inform them they need a mask. He is wearing one. She is not.

Me: “Oh! Sorry, miss, you are required to wear a mask to shop with us today.”

She just keeps walking.

Male Customer: *Stares at me* “Why?”

Me: “Sorry, sir, it’s a state and company mandate to wear a mask. I can—”

Male Customer: “Why?”

Me: “Well, sir, it’s required.”

Male Customer:Why?! Why do I have to?”

It is at this point I roll my eyes, becoming irritated. There is a customer in front of me trying to check out, and a line is forming.

Male Customer: “Don’t you dare roll your eyes!”

He holds up a folded-up walking stick.

Male Customer: “My wife is blind! She is not medically required to wear a mask. Don’t be rude!”

Female Customer: “It’s fine. I’ll put one on.”

She pulls it out of her pocket — meaning she had it the whole time — and puts it on.

Male Customer: “You don’t get to yell at us and command us to do things. You could get in serious trouble. We could sue you for discrimination. She’s blind.”

He continues ranting and raving. The customer in front of me speaks up.

Customer: “Back off. She’s not yelling at you; she’s doing her job.”

I call for a manager because I can feel myself tearing up. When the manager arrives, I run to the back because I’ve begun sobbing.

Male Customer: “I don’t care if she’s ‘had a bad day.'”

Female Customer: “Show some respect.”

They then got yelled at by the customers that were waiting in line, and they proceeded to yell at my manager for ten more minutes about the other customers yelling at them.

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Thankfully Not A Uniform Response To The Uniform

, , , , , , , | Right | September 1, 2020

Among the passengers traveling on my flight are several uniformed members of the military. The gate agents have already called for people who need extra time to board the plane, but no one else has been allowed on yet, including the first-class passengers.

Gate Agent: “At this time, we would like to invite our customers traveling in uniform to board through the priority lane.”

A passenger who is clearly not a member of the military shoves his way into the priority lane.

Gate Agent: “I’m sorry, sir, but I haven’t called for your cabin yet. If you’ll just step to the side for one moment—”

Passenger #1: “This is bulls***! I bought this ticket first-class so I could be the first one on, and you’re letting this economy class scum on before me!”

Gate Agent: “Sir, they are members of our country’s armed services; we just want to—”

Passenger #1: “And look at those big, honking bags they’re carrying. How are the rest of us supposed to put anything in the overhead bins?!”

A well-dressed older passenger steps forward.

Passenger #2: “Listen up, because I’m only going to say this once. These are the men and women who are fighting day and night to defend our country. They’re carrying those large bags because they are traveling to attend basic training. After that, they are going to spend several months in Afghanistan, risking their lives to protect other Americans — including jerks like you. When was the last time you voluntarily put your life on the line?”

He turns to the gate agent.

Passenger #2: “I have a first-class ticket. Could you please switch me to the economy cabin and give my seat to one of these soldiers?”

Soldier: “Sir, that’s very kind of you, but really—”

Passenger #2: “No.”

He offers a perfect military salute.

Passenger #2: “I was in the army in Vietnam. I know the sacrifices you all are making. Thank you for your service, and God bless you and your families.”

The nasty passenger walked off in a huff but didn’t say a word for the rest of the flight. The gate agents gave the nice gentleman’s seat to one of the soldiers and offered vacant first-class seats to some of the others. To that amazing guest: you restored my faith in humanity when I thought I just might lose it. And I thank you for your own service to our nation.

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