Mortarboard And Hassle

, , , , | Working | July 12, 2012

Me: “Hey, [Supervisor], I know it’s two months away, but I wanted to let you know I need my graduation day off.”

Supervisor: “That’s fine, but you need to put the request in the system two weeks before. But I’ll be sure to approve it.”

(A month and a half later…)

Me: “[Supervisor], I just put the request for my graduation day off into the system.”

Supervisor: “Oh, great; I’ll approve it right now.”

(The next day…)

Me: “So, am I all set for graduation?”

Supervisor: “Oh, I completely forgot! Let me do that right now.”

(This continued EVERY work day that week. Lo and behold, the next week’s schedule comes up with me on for my graduation day.)

Me: “I thought you said I was all set to have the day off?”

Supervisor: “Well, now that you’re on the schedule, you’ll need to find someone else to cover it for you. Too many other people were given the day off.”

Me: “But… You said…”

(My supervisor leaves me there with my jaw on the floor. Just then, my store manager walks by.)

Store Manager: “Hey, [My Name], what’s wrong?”

Me: “My supervisor wants me to work my graduation day.”

Store Manager: “Did you request it off in the system?”

Me: “Yes.”

Store Manager: “Oh, I see. I’ll take care of this!”

(When my shift ended that day, I saw that I was no longer scheduled for my graduation day. Even better: she made my supervisor cover for me.)

1 Thumbs
1,887

Dating Sheldon Cooper, Part 6

, , , , | Romantic | March 15, 2012

(We are sitting in peaceful silence in our dorm room after kissing for a while.)

Me: “What are you thinking about, goof?”

Boyfriend: “I’m wondering what the chemical formula of burned meat is.”

Me: “Of course you are…”


This story is part of the Nerds In Love roundup!

Read the next Nerds In Love roundup story!

Read the Nerds In Love roundup!

1 Thumbs
461

I Can Be Anything I Want

, , , , , , | Right | November 27, 2011

Customer: “Do you sell stripper costumes?”

Me: “Sorry?”

Customer: “Stripper or hooker, whatever. I need it for a Halloween costume party.”

(I assume she’s dressing up herself in a party for adults.)

Me: “Why don’t you just go to a lingerie store? Or perhaps an adult store?”

Customer: “Well, they won’t be selling sizes that fit my kid. She’s six.”


This story is part of our Terrible Parents roundup!

Read the next Terrible Parents story!

Read the Terrible Parents roundup!

1 Thumbs
2,579

What Possessed You To Do That

, , , , , | Right | November 18, 2011

(This happens while I am working at a Christian book store that also sells other “Christian” items. This particular incident involves a customer’s dissatisfaction with a child’s toy called the “Armor of God,” which includes a sword, a shield, and armor.)

Me: “Hello, thank you for calling [Store]. How may I help you today?”

Caller: “Hello, I would like a refund for a toy I bought my son last week called the ‘Armor of God.'”

Me: “I can help you with that. Can I please have the order number?”

Caller: “Yes, the order number is [number].”

Me: “Now, was the item defective or damaged in any way, or are you simply dissatisfied with the product?”

Caller: “The toy is possessed.”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Caller: “The moment my son put on the armor he started screaming and running around, attacking everything with the sword. The toy is possessed and I want a full refund. Frankly, I’m shocked that a store advertising Christian products would sell something like this!”

Me: “Okay, well, if you box up the items, I can send you a return shipping label. When the toy arrives at our warehouse you will receive a full refund.”

Caller: “You want it back?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. I can’t give you a refund unless the item is returned.”

Caller: “I’m afraid that’s impossible.”

Me: “Has the toy been damaged in some way?”

Caller: “No, I buried it.”

Me: “What?”

Caller: “It was possessed by a demon, so I buried it.”

Me: “Well, I’m sorry, ma’am, but if that’s the case, I’m afraid I cannot give you a refund.”

Caller: “Why not?”

Me: “Well, you buried the toy in the ground. You’re refusing to return it and the toy is ruined anyway. Per company policy, I cannot give you a refund.”

Caller: “Are you serious? First, you sell me a possessed toy, putting my family in danger, and now you refuse to give me my money back? I demand to speak to your manager!”

Me: “Certainly, ma’am, but first have you considered that possibly the toy isn’t possessed and that your son was just play fighting?”

Caller: “How dare you! Do you think I don’t know the difference? Do you think I’m lying? My son has never acted this way before. The toy is possessed and I am owed a refund. I demand to speak to your manager! I have never been so insulted!”

Me: “Let me place you on hold while I transfer you to my supervisor…”

1 Thumbs
3,210

Milking A Complaint For All It Weighs

, , , , , | Right | May 18, 2011

(I’m checking out an older woman at the register.)

Customer: “Can you bag these light for me?”

Me: “Sure thing.”

(After several bags worth of items, she has no complaints. I then ring up a gallon of milk for her, and place it in its own bag.)

Customer: *angrily* “Did you not hear me earlier? I asked for these bags to be light. Do you want me to break my arm?”

Me: “Ma’am, there is only one item in that bag.”

Customer: “You’re trying to break my arm! Supervisor! I need a supervisor right now!”

Supervisor: “Can I help you with anything?”

Customer: “He’s trying to kill me! I asked for light bags, and he made this one too heavy. He refuses to redo it!”

Supervisor: “Ma’am, there is only a gallon of milk in that bag. Would you like him to pour out half of the milk for you? That is the only way I see to make that bag lighter.”

Customer: “I’m calling your manager and getting both of you fired. You belong in h*** for trying to kill me!”


Did you find this story using our World Milk Day roundup?

Click here to get to the next story!

Click here to get back to the roundup!

1 Thumbs
3,626