Unfiltered Story #110335

, , , , | Unfiltered | May 8, 2018

(I work in a craft store as a customer service manager. One of my jobs is to answer the phone.)

Me: “Columbia [store], this is [My Name] speaking, how may I direct your call?”

Caller: “Hi, yeah, can I get directions to your location?”

(Normally we aren’t allowed to do this, as it eats up time, but we were slow so I figured I could attempt.)

Me: “Yeah sure, where are you located right now?”

Caller: “Oh I’m in Vancouver, where are you located?”

Me: “Oh, uh we’re in Columbia.”

Caller: “What state?”

Me: “…Maryland?”

Caller: “Oh, I’m so sorry!”

Me: “No really, it’s okay, have a great day!”

Caller: “You too!”

(How do you call a Maryland number from Canada? This made my night!)

IP Address:

Shifting Excuses

, , , , , | Working | May 4, 2018

(Two of my employees come to me during a shift.)

Employee #1: “Hey, boss. [Employee #2] and I want to switch shifts on Tuesday.”

Me: “That looks like it will be fine; I’ll sign off on it.”

(The next Tuesday, [Employee #1] comes in for her switched shift. [Employee #2] doesn’t show up when his switched shift starts. His supervisor calls, and I get a note asking me to handle the write-up.)

Me: “You’ve had numerous tardy clock-ins, and you missed a shift.”

Employee #2: “I didn’t!”

Me: “Yes, you did. On Tuesday, you didn’t show up for the 4:00 to 11:00 shift.”

Employee #2: “That wasn’t my shift, though! That was [Employee #1]’s shift!”

Me: “You traded with her. I was the one who signed off on it.”

Employee #2: “Right! It was her shift! I can’t get written up for missing someone else’s shift! She should get in trouble!”

Me: “Ooooookay. You didn’t come in for your original morning shift, either.”

Employee #2: “Nah, [Employee #1] covered it, remember? You signed off on it.”

Me: “You know what? We aren’t doing this. You’re in trouble. Final write-up. You miss one more shift and you will be terminated. You are no longer allowed to switch shifts, because you obviously can’t be trusted with the responsibility.”

Employee #2: “Whoa. I didn’t think you’d buy that excuse, but there’s no reason to be like that!”

Me: “Get out of my office before I find another reason to write you up.”

A Clean Quit

, , , , , , , | Working | May 3, 2018

(I’m the store manager, and I’m walking through the store when a part-time, seasonal employee points at me and calls me over. When I approach him to see what the problem is, he points at a mess of confetti and snow flocking that’s fallen from a Christmas display and is scattered across the floor. He shoves a broom towards me.)

Employee: “Clean that up.”

Me: “What?”

(At this point I see a shift supervisor come around the corner.)

Supervisor: “[Employee], I thought I told you to clean that mess up a half hour ago. Why haven’t you started?”

Employee: “I’m getting her to do it.”

Me: “Are you trying to give me your work?”

Employee: “You should sweep it up.”

Supervisor: “I’ll handle this.”

Me: “No, I’m curious now. Let’s make this clear: your shift supervisor reports to a department supervisor, who reports to the department head, who reports to the floor manager, who reports to me. Why would you think I would do something you were directly asked to handle?”

Employee: *with a sigh* “MEN don’t clean.”

Me: “I see. I’m going to head over to HR and get a print-out of your job description and duties. Your supervisor can include that cleaning is on there as part of your writeup.”

Employee: “Too late; I quit.”

Supervisor: “We won’t miss you!”

Are you often annoyed by people? We feel your pain. Find relief at our Antisocial collection in the NAR Store!

A Bad Month For Math

, , , , | Working | April 29, 2018

Coworker: “[Other Coworker] is probably retiring soon. I wonder how long he has worked here?”

Me: “He’s been here since 1978.”

Coworker: “How do you know?”

Me: “He’s excited to mark 40 years with the company in May; we plan to have a little party for him.”

Coworker: “Okay, but how do you know that’s 40 years?”

Me: “I just subtracted to figure it out.”

Coworker: *looking confused* “If you say so. That’s a long time. Do you know what day he started?”

Me: “No, just that he said it was in May.”

Coworker: “Can’t you just subtract to figure it out?”

Me: “Uh, no.”

Coworker: “Yeah. I’m bad at math, too.”

How The Number One Manager Becomes Number Two

, , , , , , | Working | April 27, 2018

All the employees wear earpiece walkie-talkies, keeping us in contact at all times. Chatter on the main channel is kept to a minimum, as it’s the default channel everyone is required to use unless requested on another channel.

Our regional manager comes for a week-long visit. Normally, he doesn’t participate in store operations, so it’s the first time he uses one of the walkie-talkies. For some reason, he switches it from push-to-talk to always-on. This means we can hear everything on his end, plus it drowns out everyone else from being able to use the channel. I head off to try to find him to fix the issue.

Before I locate him, he heads into the managers’ bathroom, and chooses to ignore my polite knocks on the door. For the next 20 minutes, all two dozen staff members are treated to a disgusting chorus of a series of grunts, shuffles, curses, farts, and plops, followed by a loud flush.

When he comes out, he angrily looks into my office to ask me what was so d*** important that I tried to interrupt him. I explain the walkie-talkie to him, hearing the echo of my voice in my earpiece, then show him how to properly set it.

None of the employees can keep a straight face when they see him the rest of the day.

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