Krazy Names

, , , , | Right | January 26, 2021

A customer approaches my register. As I start ringing her items up, she leans in to look at my name tag.

Customer: “Oh, so you’re Kathy?”

Me: “No, ma’am, my name is Katie, actually!”

Customer: “Okay, well, thank you, Karen.”

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I Learn To Scream Coherently For Ice Cream!

, , , , , | Related | January 25, 2021

My mother and I are watching my toddler nephew for my sister. My mom is scooping ice cream for all of us and has just put a large scoop in my nephew’s bowl.

Me: “Careful, Mom, you don’t want to give him too much.”

Nephew: “Me want too much!”

That was one of the first complete sentences he ever managed to say.

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Taking “Sharing Is Caring” To Another Level

, , , , , | Healthy | January 21, 2021

About a decade ago, I decided to donate my kidney as a non-directed donor, meaning I didn’t know the person who would get the kidney; the hospital picked him. Knowing that I volunteered with children and had a real soft spot for them, the hospital recommended a twenty-two-month-old child as the person to receive the kidney.

The surgery went fine and I got to meet the child for the first time a month after the surgery. I thought this would be the only time I would meet the child.

A number of years later, I get a surprise call from the pediatric department of the hospital where I donated. They are doing a reunion party where they get together kidney donors and kidney recipients, and they want to know if I would like to attend. Excited at the chance to meet the child again, I agree to attend.

When they finally arrive at the party, while their mother is busy signing in, the boy and his twin brother wander into the party and apparently recognize me. The one that I actually donated the kidney to is a bit shy at first about meeting me, not so much his brother.

Twin Brother: “Are you the one that gave my brother the kidney?”

Me: “Yes, I was.”

Without saying anything else, he runs up to me and gives me a gigantic hug.

Twin Brother: “Thank you!”

His brother seems a bit unsure how he is supposed to interact with his kidney donor at first, but I have enough experience with kids that I am able to get him to open up soon enough. Eventually, the brothers are excitedly dragging me around to face painting and all the other activities they have for the party.

Boy: “Where did you get the extra kidney from?”

Me: “Everyone is born with two kidneys, but we only really need one, so they took my left kidney out of me and put it in you, and I keep using my right kidney.”

Boy: “How did they get it out?”

Me: “They cut a hole in my belly button and then stuck a machine in through it which they used to cut my kidney out and pull it out through my belly button. Then they did the same thing to you to put the kidney into you.”

Brother: “Did it hurt?”

Me: “They put me asleep when they cut the kidney out, so I didn’t feel anything then. It did hurt a few days after, but it got much better after the third day. It was worth it to help.”

Kid: “Oh.” 

The kid stands there, clearly thinking about that for a few more seconds.

Kid: “Thank you.”

By the end of the party, both twins were asking if I could come visit them again. Since I love kids anyway, I told them I’d be willing to, but I didn’t want to impose, so I told them I could only if their mother wanted to invite me. I heard the kids tell their mother that they wanted me to visit, but I never did get an invite to visit them from her. It’s been many years since then, but I hope, wherever they are, both kids are still as happy and healthy as they were the last time we met.

This story is part of our Feel Good roundup for January 2021!

Read the next Feel Good roundup for January 2021 story!

Read the Feel Good roundup for January 2021!

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At Least You Didn’t Get Mansplained

, , , , , | Working | January 18, 2021

Our cable connection goes out suddenly in the middle of the day, which means we have no Internet or telephone service. I dig out my cell phone and call the cable company, who keeps me on hold for over twenty minutes, constantly telling me I could easily report a problem online.

I’m not sure which is the more annoying: just being on hold or being told to use a connection I don’t have.

A fellow finally picks up the call and I explain the problem.

Representative: “May I have your account number?”

Me: “Can’t you find it by our telephone number?”

Representative: “No, ma’am. We have to have the account number. I can wait if you need to go find it.”

I looked in the file cabinet and rummaged through the pile of papers on the desk, to no avail. I finally told him I’d have my husband call when he got in. After waiting for so long, it was beyond annoying to have to start over, but there was no choice.

When my husband came home, he called the cable company and the woman who picked up found the account — by using the phone number!

Maybe it was his deep voice.

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This Is Why People Stay In The Closet

, , , , , , | Working | January 14, 2021

I’m bisexual, but I only tell people if I trust them. I grow close to one girl at my work and decide to tell her. A few days later, I’m working a shift with a male coworker who treats everyone rudely and whom nobody likes.

Male Coworker: “So… [Friend] told me you’re gay.”

Me: *In shock* “Um, no, I’m not gay. I’m bisexual.”

Male Coworker: “That’s basically the same thing; you’re just confused. You’ll find a good man eventually, even with that lip piercing and weird holey ears.”

Me: “What business is it of yours, anyway?”

Male Coworker: “I’m just saying, it’s not natural.”

A few days later: 

Male Coworker: “So, my girlfriend and I were looking to try new things in the bedroom. Do you want to join us?”

Me:No. Don’t talk to me again unless it’s about work.”

Male Coworker: “Come on! It’s not like anyone would want to date you, anyway!”

Me: “So first, I’m unnatural, and now I’m suddenly a hopeless whore? You’re twisted, [Male Coworker]. I wasn’t going to say this, but this is why nobody likes you. You’re conceited and condescending.”

Male Coworker: *Rolls his eyes* “Oh, please. I’m not here to make friends, just to make money. In ten years, I’ll be the manager and you’ll be dead in the streets!”

I talked to the Human Resource rep and the manager and they both spoke to him, but his behavior did not improve. He wound up getting fired for cussing out a gay couple.

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