(A vendor comes into the store weekly, and I have to sign off on his paperwork every time. We are usually polite, even though I don’t know him well. It’s October 31st, so I’m wearing a bat necklace and pumpkin-shaped earrings.)

Me: “All right, paperwork looks good. Here you go. Happy Halloween!”

Vendor: “What did you say?”

Me: “I just wished you a happy Halloween.”

Vendor: “No! I don’t celebrate the devil’s holiday! How dare you shove it down my throat!”

Me: “I apologize.”

Vendor: “Yeah, you should! You sinners think everyone just participates in your Satan holiday! No! Some of us are good Christians!”

(He storms out. The next time I see him, he is a bit frosty to me. Then, I see him in December.)

Me: “All right. I made one note on page two, but I’m signing off, anyway. Have a good day.”

Vendor: “A good day? Don’t you mean, ‘MERRY CHRISTMAS’?!”

Me: “Hmm? Okay, yeah.”

Vendor: “No, not, ‘yeah’! And don’t give me, ‘Happy Holidays’! Jesus is the reason for the season. I’m not leaving until you say Merry Christmas. MERRY CHRISTMAS!”

Me: “You know you accused me of shoving Halloween ‘down your throat’?”

Vendor: “Yes, you did. What does that have to do with anything?”

Me: “I’m going to be bringing it up to your boss. Excuse me.”

(As I walked away, he yelled, “MERRY CHRISTMAS!” repeatedly to my back.)

This story is part of our Devilish Halloween roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

22 Times Religious Customers Went Biblical In The Store

Read the next Devilish Halloween roundup story!

Read the Devilish Halloween roundup!

(After Christmas, we have a huge amount of extra, outdated marketing, holiday trash, and used pallet in the back room. I assign two employees to sort through it, setting aside anything recyclable, and to pile up the pallet near the loading dock for pickup. It’s a nice day, so they have the doors to the loading dock open and classic rock playing. A customer comes up to me on the sales floor, completely irate.)

Customer: “Excuse me. The boys in the back room are playing offensive rock music. As a Christian, I am so offended! You should fire them!”

Me: “I’ll look into it. Where could you hear the music?”

Customer: “By the doors!”

Me: “The doors to the loading dock?”

Customer: “Yes!”

Me: “Sir, that area is behind a gate, off-limits to customers.”

Customer: “Oh, that was what they said, too!”

Me: “Let me look into this for you.”

(I head to the back and talk to my employees. The guy had squeezed through the chained gate and had snuck through the back doors when the back room employees caught him. He said he was trying to take the pallet from the back room, and had gotten angry when he was told to leave. He hadn’t mentioned the music to them, which was at a moderate level. The man had left the store by the time I finished talking to the employees, so I filled in security and gave a description of the man. I was still in the store after close, along with one security guard, who suddenly glanced at the cameras and sprung to action. A man had squeezed through the chained gate again and was trying to jimmy open the back doors — security cameras caught him in the act of forcing the lock. It was the previous music complainer! This taught me to take customer complaints with a grain of salt. Had I taken a music complaint at face value, I might not have caught a would-be thief!)

(It’s the holiday season, so the fitting rooms have lines. There are heaps of abandoned clothing, irritated people waiting, and it’s generally a mess. We have issues with customers butting in line, trying to “hold” fitting rooms, and other rude behavior. A handicapped woman using crutches, [Customer #1], has tried on an outfit and come out of her room to look in the three-way mirror and show her mother. The second she is out, another woman [Customer #2] ducks around her and dives into the fitting room, locking the door behind her. [Customer #1], her mother, and an employee have all asked [Customer #2] to relinquish the room, but she is refusing. I’m called to help the situation.)

Me: *knocking* “Hello in there. We need you to open up, or I’ll have security unlock the door.”

Customer #2: “No! It’s not fair! I was waiting and she was too slow.”

Me: “Everyone gets a turn.”

Customer #2: “I shouldn’t have to wait for a fitting room. If she wanted it, she shouldn’t have opened the door. I’m not opening the door.”

Me: “Please be reasonable. Look. The other customer left her personal items in there. You can’t hold her belongings. If you don’t cooperate, I will call the police and have you removed from the building.”

Customer #2: “Fine! I’ll give her her items, but I’m not giving up the room.”

(I figure at this point I’ll get [Customer #1]’s belongings safely back to her, then concern myself with the security aspect.)

Me: *to [Customer #1]* “What did you leave in there?”

Customer #1: “Well, my purse, my phone…”

(At this point, the purse is thrown OVER the partition, landing at our feet.)

Customer #2: “Here’s your d*** purse!”

Customer #1: “Please don’t throw things! It’s breakable! My prosthetic leg is in there, too!”

Customer #2: “Oh, my God! Oh, my God! That’s disgusting! Oh, my God!”

(The door opened, and [Customer #2] came out, looking horrified, and pushed past us. She ran out into the mall. The kicker is that she left her coat, with HER cell phone in the pocket, behind. As of right now, it’s in the lost and found, along with the paperwork banning her from the mall property.)

(I’ve been working as a cab driver for a few months now, but I’ll never forget my very first ride. I pick up two dark-skinned, African-American, fifteen-year-old girls from their school.)

Girl #1: “I have to do the genealogy project on my family, but not on me since I’m adopted.”

Girl #2: “You’re adopted?!”

Girl #1: “Yeah…?”

Girl #2: “You never told me that!”

Girl #1: “Dude, are you serious!? My parents are white!”

(I have created an online order for pickup at the store. I set it for a weekday when I’d normally be closer to the store. It is Saturday, and I realize I’ll have time to make the drive to the store. I decide to call up to see if it would be possible to pick up that day. I dial and the phone rings.)

Employee: “Who are you waiting for?”

(I’m a bit confused but realize she must have picked up the wrong line and thought I had been on hold.)

Me: “Um, I need to talk to customer service.”

Employee: “Well, this is [Store]. Who. Are. You?”

Me: “Uh, well, I’m calling… You know what? Never mind. I don’t want to talk to you after the way you just answered the phone.”

Employee: “Okay.”

(I hung up the call and decided that I didn’t want the order anymore, so I called the corporate number. I was able to cancel the order, but was unable to leave a complaint because “all managers are in meetings right now.” I ended up issuing the complaint via social media, where I was informed that a manager would reach back out to me within 72 hours. They of course, haven’t.)