Should Brake-Check Who You’re Doing That To

, , , , , , | Legal | August 4, 2019

I’m driving along US 50 heading into Ocean City. I’m in the right-hand lane minding my business when someone is annoyed that I’m locked in on my cruise control at the posted speed limit. As it’s not busy this time of day, the person has plenty of opportunity to get into the left lane and pass me. 

For whatever reason, they do not for about ten minutes. I can see them in the rearview mirror gesturing wildly and pointing at me. 

Finally, they decide to pass me on the left. When they get back into the right lane, they brake-check me. I avoid hitting them and let them drive off. I’m in too much of a good mood to let them annoy me. Then, as I’m back to speed, I catch up with them and again, they brake-check me. 

Now I’m starting to get annoyed. I avoid hitting them again and they zoom off. After a few minutes, I’m caught up to them again and they do it a third time. 

Now I’m steaming mad. I’m cussing up a blue storm and I see lights in my rearview flashing at me. It’s a State Trooper flashing his headlights at me. 

I pull left and slow down, allowing the officer to pass on the right and take up the same spot I was holding. I fall back in behind the officer. 

Officer and I get up to speed and catch up with the jerk once more. Again, he hits his brakes hard. This time the officer hits his brakes to avoid hitting them — I’m far enough behind that I’m not at risk. The guy brake-checking us must have thought this funny… at least until the officer turns on his red and blues and chirps the siren. 

Jerk pulls over, officer pulls in behind him, and I’m assuming that a ticket or at the very least a stern talking-to is in the works. 

I just drive past them both, giving the jerk a cheery wave as I go on my merry way. 

And as a point of note to those who might be wondering how they didn’t notice the change? MD State Police SUVs are a greenish-grey and my SUV is a dark grey. So, in his rearview, we must have looked enough alike that he thought I was still there, ripe for the annoying.

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Getting You Where You Need

, , , | Hopeless | August 2, 2019

(Around four months ago, I got the call from my mother that my grandfather had suffered a massive brain aneurysm and was in ICU. She didn’t tell me that they didn’t expect him to live, but I knew from my experience in healthcare that his time was limited. I told my mother I was coming home to see him. The only problem was that I live 1,000 miles away from home. My wife helped me get a rental car so that I could begin the trip. We called a car rental place that had a location at the local airport. The customer service representative for their 1-800 line asked for a credit card to book the car, and I informed her that I only had a debit card. I asked if I could use my wife’s card, and she told me I couldn’t unless my wife was coming with me. She told me that I could use my debit card if necessary, but that a $100 deposit would be placed on my card until I returned the car. I agreed and booked the car. My wife drops me off at the rental place, and my conversation with the location’s customer service representative is as follows:)

CSR: “All right, I have Nissan Altima booked for [MyName]. I just need your ID and the credit card you’ll be using to pay!”

Me: *handing him my ID* “I spoke to a woman over the phone who told me I could use my debit card, but a $100 deposit would be charged to my card.”

CSR: “I’m not sure why you were told that. We don’t even offer the option to use a debit card for in-state drivers.”

(At this point, I begin to cry. I don’t know what I’m going to do to get home before my grandfather passes. I’m a wreck. Before I can decide what needs to happen next, the customer service representative addresses me again.)

CSR: “You look like you really need to get to where you’re going, though, don’t you?”

Me: “Yes. I’m trying to make it to Iowa to see my grandpa in the ICU. I don’t think he’s going to make it.”

CSR: *nodding* “I’m going to do an override. I do have to place a $250 hold on the account, though, because the transaction will be considered high-risk. Is that okay?”

Me: “Yes! Thank you so much!”

CSR: “Travel safe!”

(I sign the paperwork, get in the car, and begin my 17-hour drive. When I return the car to the rental place near the hospital, I ask the representative when the deposit will be returned to my account.)

CSR: “Oh. There’s no deposit on your account. You’re good to go!”

(It warmed my heart that the man in Maryland was so willing to help me in such a trying time. I made to the hospital in time to see my grandpa before he was too sick to speak to us, and got to be with him while he took his final breath, all thanks to this man’s kindness. Rental care employee, you made me feel that it’s not always hopeless.)

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First Time Ever Taking Stock Of How The World Works

, , , , | Right | August 1, 2019

(I approach a customer shopping in our shoe department who appears to be looking for something.)

Me: “Are you finding everything all right, sir?”

Customer: “Do you have trial socks to try on shoes with?”

Me: “We usually do. But, unfortunately, we are out at the moment.”

Customer: “So, what does that mean?”

Me: “That… we had them, and then we used them all, and now they’re gone… and we have yet to receive more?”

(The customer still looked confused.)

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What A Complete A**-perger

, , , , , | Working | July 30, 2019

(I stock shelves for a grocery store. I have Asperger’s syndrome, a high-functioning type of autistic spectrum disorder. My manager is fairly new, but he has taken a disliking to me and often treats me poorly compared to my coworkers. This happens one day while I’m stocking pasta sauce.)

Customer: “Excuse me. Do you have any more of this sauce in the back room?”

(She’s holding a jar of an uncommon variety of sauce that we have recently discontinued. I know for a fact that we do not have any more in the back room because we just received our sauce shipment the other day, and none of it was of this variety.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but that sauce is actually discontinued and is on clearance.”

Customer: “That’s bulls***! I know you have more back there! Go and get me some, now!”

Me: “I cannot do that, ma’am, as we don’t have any more.”

Customer: “LIAR!”

(Without any warning, she SLAMS the jar of sauce onto the ground at her feet, causing it to shatter. As if on cue, the manager comes over.)

Manager: “Is something wrong?”

Customer: “Fire this brat! Now! He threw this jar at me!”

Manager: “Is this true?”

Me: “No, sir! She threw that jar herself!”

Customer:You liar! I saw you throw that at me!

Me: “That’s not true! I—“

Manager: “Enough. I’m sorry, [My Name], but I simply will not tolerate this behavior, so I have to let you go. Go pack up your things and leave the store. I am very disgusted with your behavior.”

(I sheepishly punched out and left, but I wasn’t about to let myself be fired on such bogus grounds. As soon as I got home, I got on the phone with HR and explained the entire situation to them. Three days later, I got a call from the district manager offering me my job back. As it turns out, the whole incident was the latest conspiracy by my now ex-manager to get me fired because he didn’t want to work with someone on the autistic spectrum. The customer turned out to be his wife, and the whole scheme was planned out well in advance. One thing that he, quite foolishly, forgot to take into account was the security footage, which clearly showed his wife throwing down the jar of pasta sauce, contrary to what they claimed to have happened. He was fired almost immediately, and both he and his wife are now banned from setting foot in any of the company’s stores. I’m still working there to this day, and just recently got a promotion to assistant department manager.)

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The Great Detroit To Kingston River  

, , , , | Right | July 30, 2019

(I work in a travel agency, specializing in cruises, where we only deal with clients over the phone. Our agency has the word “CRUISE” in the name, and that’s plastered all over our website. It’s also in the phone message you get before you speak to one of the agents.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Agency]. This is [My Name] speaking; how may I help you?”

Client: *mumble, mumble, mumble*

Me: “I’m sorry, could you please repeat that? I think we have a bad connection; I’m having a hard time hearing you.”

Client:*mumble, mumble, something unintelligible* “Jamaica.”

Me: “Oh, you’d like to visit Jamaica?”

(The client continues to talk under her breath, so I can’t hear more than a few words. Eventually, she finally begins to enunciate clearly.)

Client: “How much are flights to Jamaica?”

Me: “Ma’am, we are a cruise-only agency; we do not deal directly with flights and airfare.”

Client: “Fine, how much are cruises to Jamaica?”

Me: “It depends; there are a lot of different factors: length of time you’re sailing, what ship you’re on, where you leave from—”

Client: *interrupting me* “I want to leave from Michigan.”

Me: “I’m sorry, there are no cruises that originate in Michigan. Other than the Great Lakes, which cruise ships don’t sail on, Michigan is land-locked.”

Client: “But I want to leave from Michigan. I live there.”

Me: *screaming internally* 

(Ultimately, what the woman was looking for — after a LOT of back-and-forth due to her perpetual mumbling — wasn’t even a cruise. I couldn’t help her, but it did make me wonder how people can have such a lack of comprehension over basic geography, especially for where they live.)

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