A Questionable Approach To Questions

, , , , | Learning | June 1, 2018

(I have ADHD, which leads to some interesting test-taking strategies. I’m outside the exam room, talking to some friends before the exam.)

Friend #1: “I’m just worried about running out of time!”

Me: “I always finish half an hour early.”

Friend #1: “What the hell? How do you do that?”

Me: “If the questions are too long I won’t process any of it, so I just guess and move on. It’s better to just guess and move on than waste ten minutes trying to understand a single question.”

([Friend #1] gets a shocked look on their face as [Friend #2] comes along.)

Friend #1: *to [Friend #2]* “Don’t let [My Name] tell you any of his testing strategies; they’ll just stress you out!

No One Cares About Your Internal Plumbing

, , , , , | | Working | May 30, 2018

(I work in an auto parts store. I am one of two females in the whole store, and there are two bathrooms, each a single room set up with one toilet, but they do both have signs for a specific gender. We don’t particularly care about the arbitrary women and men assignments; other than one having bars for the handicapped, there isn’t a difference between the two. One of the male drivers sees that the men’s room is occupied, so he takes the women’s. No big deal. But he notices the sink is backing up. The driver goes to my male coworker, who is the acting assistant manager.)

Driver: *to coworker* “The sink in the women’s bathroom is draining really slow.”

Coworker: “So?”

Driver: “Uh, well, I mean, I thought I should tell you.”

Coworker: “I identify as a man. I’m a guy.”

Driver: *obviously and understandably confused* “Uh… but—”

Coworker: “I identify as a male!”

Me: “Seriously? It’s all right, [Driver], I’ll take care of it.”

(To this day I can’t figure out if he was just making a really unfunny attempt at humor, or was being lazy, or what, but from other conversations I’ve had with him, I am sadly leaning towards him just being so bigoted he can’t even hear about plumbing problems in a “female” bathroom.)

Should Double-Check The CEO’s Resume

, , , , , | | Working | May 27, 2018

(We’re hiring a new research associate for the lab, and I’m in charge of vetting resumes to choose our new hire. After a few weeks, we interview someone we like, and we hire him. Shortly afterwards, I notice we’re still receiving resumes, so I talk to our HR consultant.)

Me: “Hey, I noticed we’re still receiving applications for the research associate position. I checked, and it looks like the job is still listed on [Job Website].”

HR: “Yes, it’s still there.”

Me: “But… shouldn’t we take it down? People are applying, thinking the position is still open.”

HR: “Well, we paid to have the ad posted for 30 days, so we’re going to leave it posted for 30 days.”

Me: “Isn’t that misleading?”

HR: “Sorry. It’s what [CEO] wants.”

(This was her answer to almost everything. Even worse, it was usually accurate.)

Less Intelligent Than A Potato

, , , , | | Right | May 23, 2018

(I work at a well-known convenience store on the east coast that includes a deli, offering sandwiches, soups, and sides. This occurs about 20 minutes after a customer picks up his order for two soups.)

Customer: “I came in earlier and ordered a baked potato soup and a chicken corn chowder, but you gave me two corn chowders, instead.”

Me: “Sorry about that. Let me just go grab your soup.”

(He hands me the container of corn chowder and I exchange it for the same size of baked potato soup.)

Customer: *yelling* “You did it again! You gave me the wrong soup! What’s wrong with you?”

Me: *checking it, just to be sure* “Sir, I’m confident that this is the baked potato soup.”

Customer: “What are you talking about? This is chicken corn chowder.”

Me: *trying not to sound like an a**hole* “Sir, the chicken corn chowder has corn and chicken in it. You can see there’s no corn in this; it has potato and bacon in it like it says on the menu.”

Customer: “What? I… That isn’t what I wanted. I wanted the baked potato!”

Me: *racking my brain* “Well, that’s what I just gave you… Did you want… mashed potatoes?”

Customer: “Yes.”

(The kicker? He must have eaten an entire container of soup, thinking it was corn chowder, that contained absolutely none of the same ingredients. It doesn’t even have any corn.)

Ranger Danger!

, , , , , | | Working | May 23, 2018

(I am working as a park ranger in a state park when one day another new ranger and I are tasked with cleaning up a section of a river. A great deal of trash has washed down the river and has collected on the banks. We are sent down with a truck and trash bags to clean everything up. About an hour into the project, my coworker starts loudly sighing and moving at a snail’s pace.)

Coworker: “Is this good?”

Me: “Huh?”

Coworker: “Is this good enough? Can we stop?”

(I look around. There is still a great deal of trash around us. This is a popular hiking area and the public is often in this area. Things still look awful.)

Me: “Uh, no. We can’t stop until all the trash in the water is picked up.”

Coworker: “But won’t it just get washed down?”

Me: “What? What do you mean?”

Coworker: “If we leave it, won’t it just get washed away? What’s the point of picking it up?”

(I am shocked by what this park ranger has just said.)

Me: “God, no! If this washes down, it will spread to other parts of the river and eventually get into the bay! Why would that be a good idea?”

Coworker: “Then it wouldn’t be our problem!”

(I have no idea how this person got hired with ideas like that floating around in their head.)

Page 5/23First...34567...Last
« Previous
Next »