An Alarming Lack Of Preparation

, , , , , | Learning | October 5, 2019

I teach third grade. On the third day of school, a fire alarm was pulled during lunchtime as a prank by a student! 

Because it was so early in the year, we had only practiced leaving the classroom for a fire drill; we hadn’t yet practiced what to do when you were somewhere else, like the cafeteria, so the kids didn’t know what to do or where to go. 

One of my students that year had epilepsy; she couldn’t look at the flashing fire alarm without setting off a seizure, so she just covered her eyes and put her head down and cried. 

I was waiting to use the restroom when I heard the alarm go off. I didn’t know whether there was a real fire or not, so I sprinted from the restroom to my scared kiddos in the cafeteria. I found my student who was crying and picked her up, and got her and got the rest of my class out of there, along with another teacher’s class.

Once outside, I put her down and realized that sometime during the trip she had stopped crying and started laughing; she thought it was hysterical that I was carrying her “like a baby”!

Most kids barely got to eat their food, and they were all either thrilled with the excitement, or pretty upset at missing out on a big chunk of their lunchtime. That afternoon, we had “second lunch” during what was supposed to be math class. We all went outside to have a picnic and practice a geometry dance on the blacktop. 

The school quickly drafted a letter to send home to the families so they would know what had happened, and also that there hadn’t been any real danger.

It was a crazy day… but also a sign that we needed to have a better plan in place for managing unpredictable situations! 

My favorite part was that several of my kiddos wrote about it in their first writing assignment of the year, “The Best Day At School Ever!” I’m glad they (mostly) enjoyed it in the end… and that it never happened again!

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An Iron-Giant-Sized Flaw In Your Logic

, , , , | Romantic | September 27, 2019

(My girlfriend and I have a nine-year age difference. At the time of this story, I am 33 and she is 24. As such, she mainly grew up in the naughties while I grew up in the nineties. She has decided that any movie made before around 1998 is “too old” to be any good. I have made it my mission to get her caught up on a variety of twentieth-century movies to prove her wrong. We are watching “The Iron Giant.” Near the end, the titular robot sacrifices himself to save the town from a high-yield missile.)

Girlfriend: “Aww, he died?”

Me: “Well, it looks like he did.”

Girlfriend: “That’s so sad.”

(In the end, we see the Iron Giant reassembling itself and opening its eyes.)

Girlfriend: “Oh, he’s alive! He didn’t die! Why did you tell me he died?”

Me: “I didn’t. I said it looked like he died.”

(Another time, we watch “ET: The Extraterrestrial.” We get to the part where ET dies and is in the refrigerator unit and body bag.)

Girlfriend: “Oh, my God! He’s dead!”

Me: “Yes, he is currently dead.”

Girlfriend: “That’s terrible! Why would you make me watch such a sad movie?”

(ET comes back to life as his people near Earth.)

Girlfriend: “He’s not dead! You told me he was dead!”

Me: “He was dead. Now he’s alive again. It was the 80s. Family blockbusters were never that sad.”

(This happens while watching the first “Back to the Future” movie after Dr. Brown gets shot by the Libyan terrorists.)

Girlfriend: “Oh, no, he’s dead?”

Me: *unable to take it anymore* “[Girlfriend], this is the beginning of the first part of a three-part movie involving time travel and he’s one of the two principal characters. Do you really think he’s going to stay dead?”

Girlfriend: “Oh…”

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I Sense Some Trouble Cold Brewing

, , , , , | Working | September 25, 2019

(I’m shopping at a superstore in the clearance section and find a cold brew coffee maker. I pick it up thinking it would be an awesome gift for my husband and see the price is listed as $89.99. I think this must be a fancy electronic version at that price and look it up on my phone. It’s literally just a plastic pitcher with a metal filter and is listed for $10 on the store’s website. I’m sure this must just be a mistyped decimal point so I go find a nearby associate.)

Me: “I found this pitcher in clearance and I think it was mispriced.” *shows her the website price and the item* “What should I do?”

Associate: “Yeah, that’s weird. If you go up front and ask for a manager they should be able to look it up in the system and fix it.”

(I go up to a register and ask the cashier to call a manager. He’s very friendly and we chat a bit while we wait until the manager comes up.)

Manager: “What’s the issue?”

Cashier: “She found this item in clearance and we think it was mispriced.”

Me: “Yeah, on your website it says it’s $10.” *shows my phone to the manager*

Manager: *looks at my phone for a while and then hands it back* “Well, sometimes items on the website are a different price and that one is talking about free shipping after you spend $35, as well.”

Me: “I’m not concerned about the shipping cost; it’s the big price difference. I would get if it was a few dollars different, but a $79 price gap is big. Can you look it up in your system to see if the item was mislabeled in the store?”

Manager: “It is the price it is in the store; you can order it online if you want.”

Me: “You won’t match your own price or look it up?”

Manager: “It is the price it is in the store.”

Me: “Fine, I guess I’ll not buy it, then, and get it somewhere else. I feel bad if someone wastes their money spending $89 on a $10 item, though.”

(The manager walked off and the cashier and I had a laugh about how ridiculous that was. I got a nice cold brew pitcher from another store for the correct price later.)

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Unfiltered Story #167581

, , , | Unfiltered | September 20, 2019

(I was monitoring the self scans at the grocery store I work a one day and a customer was having issues with the price of a certain type of apple ringing up incorrectly.)

Me: “Is something wrong?”

Customer: “Yes. It said in the weekly circular that Gala Apples were $1.49 a pound. And right now they are coming up $2.27 a pound.”

(I knew the apples were $1.49 a pound so I fixed the price by removing the apples from the transaction and putting in the apples in for $2.98 as the total since the apples weighed 2 pounds.)

Customer: ” Why did you put the price in for $2.98 a pound? ”

(I quickly checks to see what the price I put in was actually $2.98 and it wasn’t weighting the apples as $2.98 a pound which it wasn’t)

Customer: “What did you just put in a random number in for the price?”

Me: “No. The apples weighted 2 pounds. They are $1.49 a pound. Two times 1.49 is $2.98 which is the total price for the apples.”

(The shakes his head like I just spoken in another language)

Me: “The price is accurate sir. I can go grab a calculator to show you?”

Customer: “I do not want an approximator helping with my purchase.”

Me: “So do you want the apples or no?..”

Customer: “No.”

Identity Crisis On The Dog Food Aisle

, , , , , | Working | September 18, 2019

(I frequent a store that sells pet food and farm supplies. Because I have only one dog, I buy food less than once a month. My family members are also customers occasionally, but much less often than I am. I lug my $40 bag of dog food to the counter.)

Cashier: “Your mom was just here!”

Me: *confusedly because my mom works much later than me and lives in a different state* “Really?”

Cashier: “Yeah! Why didn’t you have her buy your dog food?”

Me: “Well, we don’t live together.”

Cashier: “Okay! Your total is $40.”

Me: “Okay. Wait, don’t you need my phone number for the rewards program?”

Cashier: “I already put the number in!”

Me: *even more confusedly because they never remember my number* “Okay.”

Cashier: “You know what, I mistook you for someone else.”

(I took my $40 bag of food, sans rewards for all the cash I had just dropped, and left the store.)

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