Mouthing Off About Cigarettes

, , , | Right | January 13, 2020

(I am a librarian. One day when I’m working at the information desk, I see a woman with a cigarette in her mouth and a lighter in her hand, getting ready to light up.)

Me: “Ma’am? I’m sorry, but smoking isn’t allowed inside the library.”

Patron: *points to the cigarette* “It’s not lit, is it? Do you see smoke coming out?”

Me: “Ma’am, if you have it in your mouth, I have to assume you intend to smoke it by default.”

Patron: “Oh! Uh… sorry, my mistake.”

Me: “That’s fine. But no smoking in the library, okay?”

(At least she apologized. But yeah, I totally stick cigarettes in my mouth with no intention to smoke them all the time.)

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Sweet, Sweet Karma

, , , , , | Right | January 13, 2020

(I’m at the local mall and I decide to poke my head into the candy shop to see if there are any interesting specials. As part of the displays, the store in question sets up chocolate boxes that have cellophane in them so you can see inside and admire the designs on the candy. As I look over them, I notice that one pack clearly has a chocolate missing.)

Me: *calling over the young woman working the floor* “Miss? I think one of your display chocolates got pinched.”

Employee: *coming over and looking at the box* “Yeah, I noticed that, but I’m not worried.”

Me: “Okay, as long as someone knows about it… How do you mean, not worried?”

Employee: “We’ve had that particular box on display for months now; if that chocolate did get stolen, the thief is probably gonna get sick, and if the thief gets sick, it’s not like they can come back on us about it, because they won’t have a receipt!”

(I couldn’t deny her logic!)

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Having A Bad Tray

, , , , | Working | January 12, 2020

(I am a customer placing an order at a popular fast food restaurant.)

Me: “Hello, I’d like to place an order for here.”

(The cashier proceeds to take my order.)

Cashier: “Is that for here or to go?”

Me: “It’s for here.”

Cashier: “So you want a tray, right? Not a bag?”

Me: “Yes, a tray.” *thinking “Wouldn’t it be funny if he still put it in a bag?”*

(Sure enough, five minutes later, he handed me a bag with my food in it. I just laughed it off and ate my food from the bag. The guy must’ve been having an off day.)

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Unfiltered Story #182247

, , , | Unfiltered | January 11, 2020

*A customer places an order on our website on a federal holiday. We receive the order the very next morning, when we open, and sadly we are out-of-stock. An e-mail is immediately sent to the customer informing them of the issue and offering an exchange to another product.*

Our E-mail: …free upgrade to [superior product]. If you would like to accept this product, please contact us at [contact information].

Their Response: That’s fine, but since it’s delayed I’ll need to change some things.

*I looked at the dates and times of the order. They placed it at Noon on a federal holiday and we contacted them the morning of the very next business day… less than 24 hours later. Given our orders take a day or two to ship out, not to mention several more days to arrive at their location, I’m not sure how fast they were expecting this.*

Unfiltered Story #182211

, , | Unfiltered | January 7, 2020

My store generally has classes and all of our information is posted on the website. We have one girl who knows the class list and she had left for the night.

Me: thank you for calling [store] this is [my name] speaking, how may I direct your call?

Caller: I’m calling to find out if you have a certain class.

Me: okay well, unfortunately the girl who knows about our class list has gone home for the evening. But all of our class information can be found online on our website.

Caller: I didn’t see what I was looking for which is why I called. Do you know when she will be back in?

Me: I don’t, but again, everything can be found on our website.

Caller: can you take a message?

Me: yes ma’am I can-

Caller: nevermind just give me the name and I’ll call back tomorrow.

Me: okay her name is [name]

Caller: okay. *click*

She probably couldn’t find it because we don’t have the class she’s looking for.