It’s Not Easy, Eating Green

, , , , , , | Learning | November 4, 2019

When I was in high school, I went through a phase of being a vegetarian. I was also on the school’s free lunch program. At one point during my vegetarian phase, the school tried to open a salad bar, which was very helpful for me; on most days, neither lunch option was vegetarian, and bringing paid-for food from home didn’t make sense when I got food from the school for free.

Unfortunately, most of my classmates weren’t fans, and halfway through the school year, the salad bar was shut down due to running at too much of a loss. Not wanting to burden my parents by having them pack me lunches with fresh veggies and/or tofu “meats”, neither of which were cheap, I tried to make do with what I could still access. So for a while, my main entree was whatever that day’s main side was, usually french fries; that’s not the healthiest option, I know, but at the time, I was too stubborn to just stop being vegetarian because it would have been more practical.

One day, I saw a tray with a bowl of salad sitting on top of the counter from further in the line. When I got to the counter, the lady handed it to me, at which point I saw that it was how I usually made my salads from the salad bar. Turns out, the ladies decided to just start ordering the ingredients necessary to make sure I wasn’t relying on carbs most days. Looking back, I’m sure there was some bureaucracy they had to jump through to be able to order these, unless it was out of their own pockets, which would still be impressive considering, again, fresh veggies aren’t cheap.

I eventually gave up being vegetarian anyway, and made sure to inform them when I did so they knew to stop ordering the necessary ingredients — though I added that I would happily finish what they already had in stock so it wouldn’t be wasted.

Among the horror stories of how poorer kids are treated with regards to school lunches nowadays, it warms my heart to remember how my old lunch ladies looked out for a poor student who just wanted to try eating healthier for a while.

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Do You Have To Let It Lingerie

, , , , | Right | November 4, 2019

(We have an outage that affects the registers in about a quarter of the store. We quickly make signs pointing customers to the closest working registers and instruct our employees to tell customers the same. I get a lot of complaints about the inconvenience, but this one takes the cake.)

Customer: “Excuse me, are you the manager? I have a complaint!”

Me: “How can I help you?”

Customer: “I wanted to buy shoes, but they said they couldn’t ring me up there. They said I had to go to—” *drops his voice to a barely-audible whisper* “—women’s lingerie.”

Me: “Yes, I’m afraid a number of our registers are out and we have to direct people to the next closest register.”

Customer: “Yes, but why women’s lingerie?*he’s using the same, incredibly soft whisper*

Me: “It’s the closest register to the shoe department.”

Customer: *looking flustered* “But, I can’t be seen buying something in women’s lingerie. What would people think?”

Me: “Well, you’d be buying men’s shoes, and I think all the customers know that there’s an outage…”

Customer: “But they might think I’m buying women’s lingerie!

Me: “Or… you can use any other working register. There’s one in the men’s sportswear section that’s working.”

Customer: “Oh… oh, that will work. Thank you.”

(He walked away. I turned to an employee who had been close enough to hear and whispered, “Women’s lingerie!” and they just started giggling.)

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The Barbers Equivalent Of “It Didn’t Scan!”

, , , | Right | November 3, 2019

Me: *towards the end of haircuts* “How would you like your neckline shaped?”

Literally 75% Of Men That Get In My Chair: “Doesn’t matter to me!” *laughs* “I never see it anyway!”

Me: *yet again, fakes light laughter, soul crushed from hearing the same joke eight times a day*

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Unfiltered Story #174556

, , | Unfiltered | November 1, 2019

(Had just finished putting a customer’s subs into the toaster with the help of a co-worker.)

Customer: “So ladies…do you have life insurance?”

(This wouldn’t even be a story if it weren’t for the fact that she paused dramatically and said it in a way that made us feel like we would need life insurance after that.)

They Made It Physical

, , , , , | Working | October 28, 2019

(Back in the 90s, my parents volunteer as treasurers for their community pool. Each year, the pool has to be inspected by the state before it can open. As the pool is only open from May to September, normally the inspection office will send a notice to the PO box saying when they will be around to do the inspection and someone with a key will meet them to let them in. One year, as opening day approaches, my mother begins to get nervous as she has been checking the PO box and no such notice has arrived. The pool cannot operate without the inspection, so after having no luck getting through to someone, she drives downtown and marches into their office.)

Inspector: “We sent someone down there but no one was there to let the inspector in.”

Mom: “Right. Because we didn’t know we had to be there. No one sent us a notice so that we could let them in. The pool is only open three months out of the year.”

Inspector: “We sent the notice.”

(They go back and forth on this. Mom checked the PO box diligently so she knows nothing has been sent.)

Mom: “What address did you send the notice to?”

Inspector: *flips her computer screen around so Mom can see it* “We sent it here.”

Mom: “That’s the physical address! There is no one there when the pool isn’t open, which it says in the notes.” *points to another area on the screen*This is the mailing address! It clearly says that on the screen. Not only that, but I also see that you have six phone numbers you could have called if you needed someone to let you in.”

Inspector: “Look, ma’am. We sent the notice. We sent someone out. You weren’t there to let us in. That’s not our fault.”

Mom: “Do you not know the difference between a physical address and a mailing address?”

Inspector: “I know the difference, but—”

Mom: “Good. Then set up another appointment for the physical address right now for any time before Memorial Day weekend when the pool is supposed to be open. I’ll be there myself to let them in.”

(Mom got her appointment and left. The week before the pool opened, some volunteers went over to the pool to clean and found the inspection notice stuck in between the gates.)

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