(My mom has a habit of being a massive control freak. My older sister is getting married, and has made it clear to my mother that she and her fiancé will be planning things the way they want to — without my mother’s input. Naturally, my mother has thrown a series of temper tantrums.)
Mom: “Oh, you need to let me know when we’re going dress shopping; I need to okay your choices. I need to know that your dress is acceptable.”
Sister: “Mom, I already picked out my dress. I went dress shopping with my friends, because they actually gave me input based on what I like, and not what they like.”
Mom: “HOW COULD YOU BUY A WEDDING DRESS WITHOUT ME? I HAVE A RIGHT TO HAVE A SAY IN WHAT DRESS YOU BUY!”
Sister: “Well, if you were chipping in for it, I’d agree with you. Since you’re not, you don’t. And once again, you tend not to respect my tastes, so I left you out. If you could respect that you and I like different things and not insult what I like, I might’ve let you come.”
Mom: “You are such an ungrateful spoiled brat!”
(Two weeks later…)
Mom: “Your sister needs to know what her maid-of-honor duties are.”
Me: “Mom, [Sister’s Best Friend] is going to be her maid of honor.”
Mom: “No, no, you are. Your sister just has to accept that she only gets so much say in how this goes.”
Sister: “Mother, you do realize that since you aren’t paying for any of this, you get absolutely zero say? If you keep acting like this, I’m going to tell the ushers not to let you in.”
Mom: “You can’t do that! I’m your mother; I have a right to attend! You have no right to keep me away!”
Sister: “See, that’s where you’re wrong. If [Fiancé] and I are paying to rent the space — and we are — then we have final word on the guest list. You might want to consider that.”
(It is the day before the wedding, and I’m helping set up the reception hall.)
Mom: “None of this is the way I wanted it!”
Sister: “Maybe you missed the part where I’m the one getting married tomorrow, Mom.”
Mom: “Well, this wouldn’t be such a disaster if you’d let me help!”
Sister: “No, if I’d let you help, then our wedding would be what you wanted, instead of what we wanted. Instead, since you had no say, it is what we wanted, and we’re going to have happy memories of the day.”
Mom: “I am your mother! I had a right to plan your wedding!”
Me: “Mom, stop it. I wanted to just stay out of this but [Sister] is right.”
(I look around the reception hall.)
Me: “And besides, this looks great. It’s classy, it’ll be beautiful, and the only reason you don’t like it is because she did it without you!”
Mom: “Fine! I’m not coming!”
(She really didn’t come, and all because my sister and her fiancé planned the wedding without her. It was a beautiful ceremony and reception. Five years later, and they are still happily married.)
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