That Comes To Minus One Dollars

, , , , , , | Right | September 11, 2019

(I work as a cashier at a big chain retailer. I am just finishing up ringing out a customer when they hand me a coupon.)

Customer: “Here you go.”

(The customer hands me a five-dollar-off coupon. I take a look at the total of the items. The total rang up to be around four dollars. I know the coupon won’t work but I scan it, anyway, to show the customer.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but it didn’t work.”

Customer: “I wanted to use it.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but you didn’t spend more than five dollars, so the coupon won’t work.”

(I hand the coupon back to the guest.)

Customer: *in a hushed tone* “This is ridiculous.” *pays for her items and leaves*

(Sorry, but I can’t give you five dollars off for a four-dollar purchase.)

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Has A Vested Interest In Your Jacket

, , , , | Working | December 11, 2018

(My mom works in a well-known grocery store. On this particular day, she wears her company vest to work. This conversation she has with her coworker follows:)

Coworker #1: “Hey, [Mom], can I borrow your jacket?”

Mom: “I didn’t bring my jacket. I brought my vest.”

([Coworker #1] proceeds to give her a blank stare.)

Mom: “You know, my vest?”

Coworker #1: *blank stare*

(Mom walks off for a second, and comes back with her vest in tow.)

Mom: “See? My vest.”

Coworker #1: *at this point, he is beyond confused* “But… where did you put the sleeves?”

Mom: “[Coworker #1], vests don’t have sleeves.”

Coworker #1: *blank stare*

Mom: “Would you like me to ask [Coworker #2] to get you a jacket?”

Coworker #1: “Oh, uh, sure. I just needed one because I need to go into the freezer.”

(Mom goes and asks her second coworker to get [Coworker #1] his own coat specifically for the freezer, and goes to give it to him.)

Mom: “Okay, [Coworker #1], this is your coat to keep. Write your name in it, and leave it in your car. Don’t leave it in the store overnight.”

Coworker #1: “Oh, okay. Who’s coat is it?”

Mom: “No, [Coworker #1], this is your coat.”

Coworker #1: *blank stare* “Oh. Okay.”

(Later on that same night, Mom asks me this:)

Mom: “Hey, [My Name]?”

Me: “Yeah?”

Mom: “Do you know what a vest is?”

Me: “What?”

Mom: “A vest. Do you know what it is?”

Me: *thinks I’m hearing her wrong, because this sounds like a weird question* “A vest? Do you mean jackets without the sleeves?”

Mom: *relieved* “Good girl.”

(Bear in mind, my mom’s coworker is a junior in college. But my mom did also say that he has ADHD, and you can tell when he’s on his medication due to things like this, so this whole exchange was apparently nothing new for him.)

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Smedium Rare

, , , , | Right | January 23, 2018

(I was a manager at a popular fashion retailer.)

Customer: “Don’t you carry a size between small and medium?”

Me: *thinking I must’ve misheard this person* “I’m sorry. What is it you’re looking for?”

Customer: “Sizes in clothes, between small size and medium size.”

Me: “Uh. No… I don’t know anywhere that does.”

(Over dinner that night my husband suggested that I should have tried to convince the customer that all tags marked with an “S” stood for size “smedium.”)

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