Unfiltered Story #124493

, , , | Unfiltered | October 25, 2018

(Canada recently eliminated pennies from circulation, resulting in some pesky rounding rules. For example: $2.47 rounds down to $2.45 when paying with cash, but $2.48 rounds UP to $2.50. This man pumped $5.03 worth of gasoline.)

Me: That’ll be $5.05.

(He hands me five dollars.)

Me: Sorry sir, but do you have a nickel.

Him: What the f***, are you serious?

(He gives me the filthiest look, like I just suggested his grandmother was a prostitute for  soldiers in the First World War. I stare at him in surprise, but he leaves without further incident and I forget about the whole thing… until he comes back the next day and pumps exactly $9.97.)

Him: I was thinking about you all day yesterday.

Me: Oh. I’m… flattered?

Him: Don’t be. There’s your three cents.

(He slams a ten-dollar bill onto the counter. I process the transaction.)

Me: Thank you sir, and have a nice day. I probably won’t think about you at all.

Unfiltered Story #124485

, , , | Unfiltered | October 25, 2018

(An elderly man approaches me as I am straightening the bread shelves. He is a semi-regular who lives in the nearby apartment complex.)

Him: Hey, I got a problem. I got nothing to eat.

Me: I’d be happy to help you find something.

Him: I don’t have any money until Thursday. Can I have a loaf of bread and I’ll pay you then?

(It’s currently Monday. I’m honestly very conflicted at this point, but I don’t have the spare cash to buy it for him and I know management will be upset if I give it to him for free.)

Me: I’m really sorry, sir, but we can’t give items on credit like that. Really, if I had the money I would help you myself, but I’m afraid I can’t let you have it. I’m sorry.

(Right in front of my eyes, he picks up the loaf of bread anyway and starts walking away. I am easily able to take it from him, however, and he doesn’t resist in any way. Still apologizing, I put it back and keep an eye on him as he leaves the store.)

Him: Fuck you. You don’t have to fucking follow me out.

Me: Have a good night, sir.

(At this point, I feel truly awful. Eventually the incident is forgotten until months later, when the same man comes in and approaches the sales counter.)

Him: I wonder if you can help me out.

Me: Sure! How can I help you?

Him: I need cigarette papers.

Me: Sure! We have [brand name], [brand name] and [brand name].

Him: Okay, but I have to come back tomorrow with the money.

Me: …Um, why don’t you come back tomorrow and buy the papers?

Him: So you’re not going to help me out?

Me: I’m sorry, sir, but you have to pay upfront.

Him: Well, fuck you then!

Can’t Catch Anything Worse Than That Rotten Attitude

, , , , , , , | Healthy | October 21, 2018

(My friend and I are walking down the street when an old man suddenly collapses in front of us.)

Me: “Sir? Are you all right? SIR?!” *no answer*

Friend: “Call 911!”

Me: “On it.”

(The ambulance arrives in less than five minutes. Sadly, the old man has died. He had a massive heart attack and was probably dead before he hit the ground.)

Me: *suddenly realizing* “Wait a minute. [Friend], don’t you know CPR?”

Friend: *looking shifty* “Yes. Why?”

Me: “Why didn’t you do anything for him?”

Friend: “Because he looked gross. I didn’t want to catch anything. Besides, he was dead already; it wouldn’t have done any good, anyway.”

Me: “…”

(We’re still friends, but I lost a lot of respect for her that day.)

That’s The Battle She Has Chosen For Today

, , , , , , | Related | October 16, 2018

(When I am a teenager, my mum takes me clothes shopping in the local mall. I find a top that I like and go to pay for it.)

Mum: *spotting the manufacturer’s label on the top* “Oh, my God!

Me: “What’s wrong?”

Mum: “There’s a typo in that label!”

Me: “Typo?”

(I read the label, which looks just like any other manufacturer’s name to me.)

Mum: “Yes! It’s a reference to [obscure centuries-old British folk song], but there should be an apostrophe.”

Me: “Um, okay.”

(I hand the top to the cashier.)

Mum: *to the cashier* “Doesn’t this store know anything? That label has a typo!

Cashier: “…”

Me: “Mum, she doesn’t care—”

Mum:Well, she should! Hasn’t she heard of [obscure centuries-old British folk song]?”

Me:Of course she hasn’t! And even if she has, she won’t care! No one cares! And even if she did care, what do you think she could do about it?”

Mum: “Hmph.”

(The cashier looked grateful. I love my mum, but she picks the weirdest things to get upset about.)

There Is A Special Kind Of Hell Reserved For Those Who RSVP “Maybe”

, , , , , , | Friendly | October 11, 2018

(My fiancé and I are getting ready for our wedding, which is only a few weeks away.)

Me: “Huh, we never got an RSVP back from [Friend #1] or [Friend #2].”

Fiancé: “Let’s call them. The caterer needs to have the final numbers today.”

(I call [Friend #1], and he calls [Friend #2]. The conversations are almost identical, with one important difference:)

Me/Fiancé: “Hi, [Friend]! Just calling to see if you’re coming to my wedding on [date]? We haven’t gotten an RSVP from you.”

Friend #1: “Oh, I’ve been so busy. But if you haven’t heard from me, you can assume that I’m coming.”

Friend #2: “Oops! I keep forgetting to mail it. But if you haven’t heard from me, you can assume that I’m not coming.”

(Sigh.)

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