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What Do You Need All That Space For?

, , , , , , | Right | CREDIT: koritsakii | February 25, 2022

I am the maître-d at a busy Manhattan spot. On weekends we mainly seat reservations, but we take walk-ins, as well.

Customer: “Can I see a menu, please? I have a party of two, if we choose to stay.”

I give her a menu. She takes it outside and proceeds to sit at one of the tables, which is reserved. I can’t have her sitting there as it is for parties of four, and I have one coming in soon.

Me: “Ma’am, can I offer you this table over here that’s meant for two?”

Customer: “No, I want to keep this table.”

Me: “I have reservations coming in that need the tables for four.”

Customer: “Put them at that other table you offered me.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t comfortably put a four-top reservation at a two-top table. And it wouldn’t be fair to do that to people who booked in advance.”

She finally takes the two-top after LOTS of arguing.

Then, her friend comes, and things get worse. She comes up to the front.

Customer: “Can you please move us? My friend is allergic to the sun and she can’t sit there.”

Me: “I’m glad to move you to an indoor table.”

Customer: “We don’t want an indoor table. We want that one!”

She points to another four-top.

Me: “Ma’am, what you see is what you get. The table I have you at is the only outdoor one I can give you. Would you like to speak to the manager?”

Customer: “Please.”

The manager, who is also my boyfriend, takes a look at my iPad and tells her what I told her.

Manager: “We can’t offer you any of these four-tops. You can sit where we seated you.”

She puts up another fight but then goes back to her two-top.

The host, who works beside me, walks by them not even five minutes later to seat someone else. They flag her down and tell her I’m awful and difficult. I go out there again to see if she’s still causing problems for staff and see that she and her friend have moved themselves to a larger table. I walk over and she goes on her whole “my friend is allergic to the sun” spiel. Her friend is pulling an Oscar-worthy performance, acting as if she’s ill. Meanwhile, it’s raining and there’s not a spot of sun out.

Me: “Once again, I am happy to move you inside to accommodate the sun allergy.”

Customer: “No, we can’t do that! We want this table!”

That’s it. I get the manager and he goes to tell them they have to move as we have a party of five coming for that table in ten minutes. They look at each other.

Customer: *To her friend* “Just ignore him and keep eating.”

They made conversation over him as he was trying to talk to them.

My boyfriend is an extremely chill guy. Not much gets to him, but I could tell that this was pushing him to the edge. He ended up calling the owner and the cops. He told them that these women were disrespecting his staff and he wanted to put a stop to it. He told the women he was going to call them beforehand, but this didn’t deter them, and they stayed put at the table.

The cops showed up and offered to escort them out, but the manager said no because at that point they were already basically done. (I would’ve just let them escort the women out because they were already there). The cops said they were happy to do things like this especially, when it comes to entitled customers, so that was nice, but they ended up leaving without talking to them.

I set up the five-top around them as they were eating, adding chairs and place settings. They ended their experience by telling the server he was wonderful and that he wouldn’t believe what “they had to go through”. Please.

It Was A Humbling Time For All Of Us

, , , , , , | Right | March 2, 2020

(I’m working at a coffee shop in Manhattan. Today is September 11, 2001, and it is about 20 minutes before the first reports of a plane hitting World Trade Center 1.)

Customer: “Can you hurry up? What is taking so d*** long to make my coffees?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. Usually, we have a large staff to take big orders but today most of the staff are out.”

Customer: *irritated* “Well, how is this my fault? You should be ready to take any orders that I give you! I have a big meeting at 9:00 at the World Trade Center! That makes me important and I should be the top priority!”

(I ignore him and continue making his drinks.)

Me: “Here you go, sir, your order of [ten different coffees] ready to go. Your total is [total].”

Customer: “About f****** time!”

(He rushes out, and then ten minutes later, the news stations start talking about that first plane. The whole ordeal of 9/11 happens. Then, about a week later, the same customer comes in with presumably his wife and daughter.)

Me: “Hello, sir, what is your order today?”

Customer: “Yeah, I’m not actually ordering anything, I just wanted to thank you.”

Me: “For what, sir?”

Customer: “I’m the jerk from last week yelling about his important meeting in Tower 1. The time it took for you to make my coffee made me just late enough that I was walking up to the building when the plane hit it.”

Me: *tearing up* “Oh, my God!”

Customer: “But that’s not important. You saved me from that horrible attack and I am still here for my wife and daughter.”

Customer’s Wife: *starts sobbing on her husband’s shoulder*

Customer’s Daughter: “Can I give you a hug?”

(I happily gave her a hug through my tears. Still to this day, knowing that I was able to save one family from those terrible attacks warms my heart.)


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They Know How To Push Your Buttons Even When They’re Not Pushing Any

, , , | Right | January 13, 2019

(A client calls in reporting issues with his laptop. After several minutes of trying to get their laptop online, and him just repeating “I’m trying what you said but it’s not doing anything.”)

Me: “Okay, sir, please reboot your computer.”

Client: “How do I reboot?”

Me: “With the Start menu, then Restart.”

Client: “Where’s the start thing?”

Me: “The same thing you pressed to get to the Control Panel options.”

Client: “I’m not sure what you mean… I haven’t pressed anything… I wasn’t sure what you were asking me to do… ”

(And people wonder why computer techs seem anti-social sometimes.)

The Mother Of All Awkward Photo Shoots

, , , , , , | Friendly | November 29, 2018

(Due to circumstances, I end up as the photographer on the day two of my best friends get married. Since I have some experience with photography and they have an excellent camera, the photographs turn out pretty well. We are in the middle of a short shoot when suddenly the groom’s mother seizes the opportunity and gets me to take some photos of her during the end of it, quickly and smoothly. Afterwards, my two friends and I huddle around the camera to see how it all turned out.)

Groom: “So, how did it go?”

Me: “This isn’t something a guy should normally say to his friends, but I got some nice photos of your mom.”

Scorn On The Fourth Of July

, , , , , | Right | October 5, 2018

(I work the front desk at what is considered to be one of the more “upscale” hotels in the area. Most people who book with us tend to be on the wealthier end of the financial spectrum, and some are well aware of this fact, to put it kindly. I have just gotten in for my shift at seven am on the fourth of July, and I immediately witness this interaction between a guest and my coworker who has been there since four am.)

Guest: “Do you have any newspapers today?”

Coworker: “I’m sorry, sir, we haven’t received any today. We don’t get papers delivered to us on holidays.”

Guest: *in a very frazzled tone* “Well, can I buy one from you? Is that an option?”

Coworker: “Well, no, we, unfortunately, don’t have any papers anywhere in the hotel today. There are a few places just a block or two away that may be selling newspapers today, though.”

Guest: “This is outrageous! I spend this much money to stay at your hotel and you don’t even give me a newspaper?! It is your patriotic duty to provide me with the news, and you have just failed as an American by not doing this!” *storms away*

(It’s people like this that really make me question the state our society is in. He did, however, becoming the laughing stock of the front desk for a good week or two after, so at least some good news came out of it.)


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