Your Demand Has Shattered

, , , , | Right | June 2, 2017

(It has just been Christmas so people are coming in to exchange or refund unwanted gifts. I am standing beside my coworker whilst he deals with this specific customer.)

Customer: “Hello, I would like to return this aftershave I bought. I have a receipt.”

Coworker: “Okay, no problem. Is there anything wrong with it?”

Customer: “Yes. I dropped it on the floor and the bottle smashed so I want my money back.”

Coworker: *opens the box and finds it is just a box of glass* “I’m sorry but you will not be able to return this item. You dropped it and it smashed. It’s a glass bottle; they smash if dropped. It’s not a fault.”

Customer: “I dropped it on SOFT FLOORING and it shouldn’t have smashed, so the bottle was faulty. I would like my money back!”

(At this point the customer’s friend interrupts.)

Friend: “Well, you did drop it on wooden flooring.”

Customer: “It shouldn’t have broken!”

Coworker: “I understand the upset but we cannot issue a refund because you damaged the product when you got home. It doesn’t work that way.”

Customer: *getting angry* “IT SHOULDN’T HAVE BROKEN! I work in a perfume shop and I know that the bottle shouldn’t have broken.”

(She then proceeds to grab the tester we have at the till.)

Customer: “Look, if I throw this tester on the floor it won’t break.”

Coworker: “Please don’t throw that on the floor. It WILL break and I will have to clean it up. I’m sorry your item got damaged but we are not able to refund it in store today. Is there anything else I can help you with?”

Customer: “WELL, I AM NEVER SHOPPING HERE AGAIN! YOU HAVE LOST A LOYAL CUSTOMER. GOODBYE.”

(She stormed out the shop whilst my coworker and I stood there in a state of shock.)


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Advocating Alcoholic Desserts

, , , , | Right | May 31, 2017

(I am buying drinks for Christmas with a friend. I pick up a bottle of Advocaat.)

Friend: “I’ve never had that. What’s it like?”

Me: “Pretty much just tastes like alcoholic custard.”

Customer: *laughing* “That’s brilliant! Does that mean I can put it on my dessert?”

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Overlook And Overstep

, , , , , | Friendly | September 5, 2016

CONTENT WARNING: This story contains content of a medical nature. It is not intended as medical advice.

(My friend and I are 16 and taking her younger sister, who’s 12, to the shop with us. On the way there, I spot a guy collapse half on the street and half on the road. I run over.)

Me: “Sir, can you hear me? Are you okay?” *to my friend* “Call an ambulance!”

(She does and I put the guy in the recovery position. He starts to come round.)

Stranger: “I’m sorry, girls. I have epilepsy. I’m so sorry.”

Me: “Don’t worry about it. Here, I have some water if you want it.”

(He collapses again and starts having a major seizure. All I can think to do is protect his head from hitting the ground so I shove my jacket under him and try to keep his head safe. One of his arms catches me in the face hard but I hang on. Then, a grown man and woman step over him to pass us. As they walk away, the woman turns around.)

Woman: “Are you girls okay?”

(The man is still seizing and I’m in tears from where he hit me. I’ve told my friend to take her sister a little way away as it’s upsetting her.)

Me: “Not really. This guy is having a seizure and we’ve called an ambulance but I don’t know what I’m doing.”

(The guy rolls his eyes and looks like he wants to walk away but the woman nudges him.)

Man: “He’s wet himself. He’s probably an alcoholic.”

Me: “What does that matter? He’s having a seizure!”

(The ambulance finally arrives and the man goes to greet them. He gives a wrong account of what’s happened and I keep interrupting to correct him. Finally, he gets angry.)

Man: “Listen, I’m a police officer and I’m dealing with the paramedics, so shut up.”

Me: *in disbelief* “You’re a police officer? You stepped over us without helping at all! You’ve been useless!”

(The paramedics raised their eyebrows at this and the man went a little red. The guy was taken away in the ambulance. I never did find out what happened to him but I’ll never forget how willing a policeman was to overlook a man in need.)


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Trident And Try Again

, , , , , | Related | April 15, 2015

(I am travelling in the car with my parents and little brother who is three. We are discussing what to get as a gift for my grandmother’s birthday.)

Little Brother: “Get her a devil stick!”

Rest Of The Family: “A devil stick?! What’s that?!”

(After questioning him, we establish that he means a trident. I have no idea why he thought a trident would be a good gift for an elderly lady.)


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The Height Of (Mt.) Misogyny

, , , , | Right | March 22, 2012

(I am a woman working at a shop that specializes in mountain climbing equipment. I happen to be very experienced when it comes to trekking, so often colleagues ask me to help people who are planning a mountain trek. My coworker is bringing a male customer over to me for trek-planning help.)

Coworker: “And here’s [My Name] now. She’s our expert when it comes mountain treks!”

Male Customer: “Don’t be stupid.”

Me: “Pardon?”

Male Customer: “Girls don’t climb mountains.”

Me: *laughs* “This girl does! Where are you hoping to climb?”

Male Customer: “Well, I’m climbing the highest peak in the Atlas region.”

Me: “Oh, Jebel Toubkal? Excellent, I did that last year. What time of year are you planning to go?”

Male Customer: “I don’t believe you.”

Me: “Pardon?”

Male Customer: “Can you just bring back the man I spoke to first? I’m sure he’ll know more about it than you.”

Me: “You think my male colleague, who specializes in camping, low-level trekking, and biking, will be more equipped to help you than me, a woman who climbed the exact mountain you’re planning to climb?”

Male Customer: “Yes.”

(I fetched my coworker, who was forced to continue checking with me to see if what he was selling was okay. The worst part: my staff identification picture is of me at the summit of Jebel Toubkal!)


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