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Giving Them Exactly What They McAsked For

, , , , , , , , | Right | September 20, 2023

We are short-staffed one day, and the girl working in the drive-thru is on break, so our manager steps in to cover her.

He is pretty old and doesn’t have the best hearing, so most customers are pulling around to the window to talk to him as he’s struggling to hear through the headset. One guy rolls up to the window and shouts:

Customer: “I want a large Big Mac meal with a Coke, please! Is that so d*** hard?!”

Manager: *Very calmly* “My apologies, sir. That won’t be difficult.”

He leans out of the window and points down the road, tipping his Burger King cap.

Manager: “There’s a McDonald’s about three miles in that direction. They’ll be able to help. Have a nice day, sir.”

Then, he just closed the window and walked around the corner out of sight. I laughed so hard!

The Strife Of Brian

, , , , , , , , | Right | September 19, 2023

Customer: “I’d like a [burger combo] meal, and the… uh… the…” *Mumbles*

He says the last item so quietly and softly that I don’t hear it.

Me: “Sorry, sir, what was that last item?”

Customer: *Loud whisper* “The salad. It’s not for me! It’s for my girlfriend!”

Me: “Of course, sir.”

Customer: “Can you like… hide the salad? I don’t want people to think I’m gay.”

Me: “Eating lettuce is homosexual?”

Customer: “Well, no, but… you know.”

Me: *Cocking head in confusion* “No, I really don’t.”

Customer: “It’s a kinda gay meal! It’s not like it’s a steak or a burger or something! Look, just double-bag it and keep it separate from my other stuff.” 

Me: “Okaaaay? Can I get a name for the order?”

Customer: “Brian.”

I take his order, but it’s my manager who puts it all together. (He’s one of those awesome managers who works the line with us). He also heard the entire conversation. 

Manager: “That’s one Pride Special Rainbow Salad for Brian! With extra pink radish!”

Brian is red but ignoring my manager.

Manager: “One Pride Special Rainbow Salad for Brian? No? Okay, well, it’ll sit here along with the burger and fries until it’s taken!”

After a good couple of minutes, Brian sheepishly ran up to the counter, grabbed the bags, and leaves. I think he was weighing up his options of complaining and causing a scene, or just getting his girlfriend her food as quickly as possible.

When You Wrong The Wrong Customer

, , , , , , | Right | September 19, 2023

Customer: “Gimme some smokes. [Brand].”

Me: “May I see some ID, please, sir?”

Customer: “I’m military.”

Me: “Thank you for your service, but I still need to see your ID.”

Customer: “Where is your manager?”

I call my manager over.

Manager: “How can I help you, sir?”

Customer: “Your stupid Mexican girl won’t sell me my smokes without ID, but I served in the military, so I don’t need no ID! And even if I did, I was born in 1990, so that makes me like twice the legal age to smoke!”

Manager: “Sir, you are so wrong that I think your wrongness went all the way around to being right and ended up being wrong again. I can’t list all the ways you’re wrong; technically, mathematically, racially, legally…”

Customer: “What the f***, dude?! I just want my smokes!”

Manager: “And all we’re asking for is ID.”

The customer begrudgingly shows some ID, which confuses me; if he had it to begin with why cause all the drama?

Manager: “Thank you, sir. However, calling my staff a ‘stupid Mexican girl’ is also wrong as she is smart, she is ethnically Venezuelan, and she is a woman. Apologize to her, or I will refuse your sale.”

Customer: “I showed you my ID! You can’t refuse my sale!” 

Manager: “I can, and I am. You just lost your chance to smoke in the next few minutes. Have a nice day, sir!”

Customer: “F*** you, you [gay slur]!”

Manager: *Flashes the rainbow tattoo on his wrist* “Finally, he gets something right! Bye!” 

It was a glorious exit.

No Matter How You Slice It, Retail Sucks

, , , , , , | Working | September 18, 2023

I’m starting a new management position at my first retail job. I’ve been bought in from outside retail because they couldn’t hire internally, which I thought was a red flag, but I needed the job. I am also one of those people who believes a manager should never give in to bad customer behavior, and I am looking forward to being one of those managers who has my staff’s back.

The store manager is giving me a tour during my first week when there is a store announcement I haven’t heard before.

Store Manager: “That’s code. That means that a customer has complained to a manager and hasn’t gotten their way, so now I’ve been summoned.”

Me: “Oh, so it’s like an escalation thing?”

Store Manager: “Yeah. It means the customer has specifically asked for the person at the top. Follow me.”

We head to where the store manager has been summoned to see a customer red-faced, nostrils flared, shouting at the checkout manager. 

Customer: *Spotting [Store Manager]* “You! Where have you been?! I’ve been talking to this idiot for ten minutes trying to get to you! Here! Refund this for me!”

The customer tosses a single loaf of bread toward [Store Manager]. It’s easily a month past its use-by date, and through the plastic packaging, I can clearly see that it is more mold than bread at this point.

Store Manager: *Sighs* “Are you aware that this bread is past its use-by date?”

Customer: “That shouldn’t matter! I paid for good bread; I should still get good bread!”

Store Manager: “Bread only stays good before this date. After that, it will go bad.”

Customer: “I kept it in the plastic! It should stay good until I open it!”

Over the next few minutes, I see the store manager try to talk this customer down from a refund to store credit, but they are really digging their heels in. I’m actually embarrassed for them making such a fuss over a single loaf of bread.

Sighing again, [Store Manager] turns to the checkout manager.

Store Manager: “Please process the refund. For the reason, please write down that the customer thinks that when plastic encases an item, it causes the flow of time to come to a standstill.”

The checkout manager sighs and the customer — not realizing they’ve been insulted — smiles smugly over their “victory.” The store manager and I start walking away.

Me: “We didn’t have to do that.”

Store Manager: “I’ve met that type. They will not give in no matter what. It’s a matter of principle for them.”

Me: “It’s a matter of principle for me, too. Not giving in to them is how they learn.”

Store Manager: “These people don’t learn. I once had to refund a customer trying to return mushrooms because they thought it was growing fungus. I’ve learned that when the customer’s only two brain cells are both fighting for second place, life is too short to try to educate them.”

I understand that retail had jaded him, but I still told him I would try to stand my ground, and he simply told me “good luck.” It’s been three months and so far no customer — including the very same one from this story — has managed to win with me, but yikes, do they wear you down! I can totally understand why some managers “give in” after a few years of this. 

Sometimes, it’s the end of your long shift and you just want to go home to your dinner and your cat, and giving in to the customer is the only way to do that in a reasonable amount of time, so I’ve stopped judging some managers that are at the end of their rope.

This Customer Keeps On Ramping Up

, , , , , , , | Right | September 18, 2023

I have a disability that requires a wheelchair, but when required, I can stand for a minute or two. My friend and I are entering the store where we both work, and the wheelchair ramp is blocked by someone using an electric wheelchair that seems to have run out of juice. I can see him arguing with an older woman, and it doesn’t look like it’s going to be resolved any time soon.

Not wanting to be late for work, my friend asks me:

Friend: “Think you can make it up those five stairs or shall we wait?”

Me: “I can do those five.”

Very clumsily, I get up from my wheelchair, and holding the rails, I make the slow climb of five steps while my friend carries the wheelchair. I’m not even halfway up when I hear the other customer in the electric wheelchair shouting at me.

Customer: “Are you mocking me?!”

Me: *Getting back into my wheelchair* “What? No.”

Customer: “Yes! You are! You’re calling me fat and mocking my disability!”

Me: “I’m lucky enough that I can move short distances, so we thought we would use the stairs since we could.”

Customer: “Because the fat blob is blocking the ramp, is that it?!”

Me: “Sir, you obviously have a chip on your shoulder about some things, but please know that I just want to get into the store as quickly as possible. I didn’t say or do anything to you.”

Customer: “Lazy fake-a** liar! Pretending to need a wheelchair when people like me really need it!”

My friend glares at him, but he’s learned that I prefer to fight my own battles, and I have deemed this one not worthy of my time. I clock in and wheel myself over to my checkout and start my workday.

An hour or so later, the same customer comes through my lane. (I work at one of the extra-wide disabled access lanes.) He is still with the older woman, and neither of them seems to recognize me as I start scanning his items.

Customer: “All the other register operators are standing, but you’re sitting down. Are you mocking me?”

Me: “Seriously, sir? Again with this?”

The customer then looks at me properly and notices that I am sitting in my wheelchair and not a regular chair.

Customer: “You again! Are you following me?! Spend all day making fun of the disabled fat guy, is it?”

Me: “Sir, I am literally just trying to scan your items and get you sent on your way.”

Customer: “Where’s your manager? They need to know that they have hateful staff who like to discriminate against disabled people!”

I sigh, call my manager over, and continue to ignore the customer as I finish scanning his items. My manager comes over expecting a simple question about pricing and suddenly is hit with a wave of shouting from my custome.

Customer: “This hateful person has been mocking my disability all morning! He laughed at me when I got stuck coming into the store, and now he’s pretending to need a wheelchair to make me feel like a [slur for disabled people].”

Manager: “Uh… sir, [My Name] here genuinely needs his wheelchair. He is not mocking you or anyone else by using it.”

Customer: “Bulls***! He climbed the stairs like it was nothing!”

Me: “It took me a full minute to make the climb, and I was holding on to the rail the entire time! It was not nothing!

Customer: “You were mock—”

Manager: *Cutting him off* Sir! I am not going to entertain any such accusations against my staff. Now please pay for your items and leave.”

Customer: “But he’s mocking the disabled—”

Finally, the older woman speaks up as she has seemingly had enough.

Older Woman: “Jesus Christ, [Customer]! You’re not disabled; you’re just fat! This poor man doesn’t have a choice but to use his wheelchair, but you do! So shut up, buy your f****** mac and cheese, and let’s get out of here! You’ve embarrassed me enough already!”

The man sheepishly pays for his items and starts to leave, with the woman still muttering:

Older Woman: “I thought I stopped raising a baby thirty years ago!”