(It’s New Year’s Eve and the mall closes at six pm. Anchor stores that have outside access can choose to stay open later. We have just closed our door and I begin to close the register. A customer bangs hard on our glass doors with both fists and screams something inaudible.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, the mall is closed.”

Customer: *screams inaudibly again*

Me: *walks to the door to better hear her*

Customer: “I need to buy [item] right now!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but the mall is closed. It’s New Year’s Eve. We close at six pm as posted in several locations in the mall.”

Customer: “BUT I NEED [ITEM] RIGHT NOW! IT’S FOR MY NEW YEAR’S PARTY!”

Me: “Again, ma’am, I’m sorry but I cannot help you. As I said before, the mall is closed and has been for the past ten minutes.”

Customer: “THAT’S A LIE! [Anchor Store Across The Hall] IS OPEN!”

Me: “They have outside access through their store. We do not.” *starts to walk away*

Customer: *starts kicking our glass door*

Coworker: “Ma’am, my manager has already told you we cannot help you. If you continue to kick at our door we will be forced to call security.”

Customer: *runs*

(The item she wanted was a rather expensive hanging wall piece that had nothing to do with New Year’s. It most certainly wasn’t worth being detained.)

This story is part of the New Year’s Eve roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

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(For the record, my hair is as straight as can possibly come and past my waist, and so is my sister’s. We are currently wandering the local mall trying desperately to finish Christmas shopping amid throngs of insane Christmas shoppers. Also of note, we have dodged this guy’s over aggressive sales pitch at least three times before this happens…)

Kiosk Guy: *literally LEAPS in front of us brandishing a straightening iron* “LADIES! I have exactly what you need!” *waves the straightening iron like a wand*

Me: “Uh… no.” *attempts to keep walking*

Kiosk Guy: “No seriously.” *steps in the way again* “This [Model] is exactly what you need to tame curls and get the sleek, smooth, straightness you’ve been looking for.” *grabs my sister’s arm and attempts to drag her to his makeover chair* “You’ll see, once I’ve shown you what it can do.”

Me: *grabs his wrist to stop him and in a very loud voice I say* “LOOK at her hair!”

Kiosk Guy: *doesn’t look at her hair* “But once you see what this does to unruly curls with little to no damage!”

Sister: *looks at him like he’s insane and tries to dislodge him*

Me: “No, really, look at her hair.”

Kiosk Guy: *turns very slowly toward her as I flip my hair over my shoulder to emphasize my point* “But once I show you what it can do, you’ll know you need…”

Me: “What can this thing possibly do for us?”

Kiosk Guy: “But it could be straighter!”

Me: “Seriously, dude, get help.”

Kiosk Guy: *jumps in front of us again and tries to get back into his spiel*

Me: *as loud as I possibly can without screaming* “I DON’T WANT YOUR MAGIC HAIR STRAIGHTENER! NOW, BACK OFF!”

(He finally did back off, staring at us like we might bite him as he noticed a crowd of Christmas shoppers had formed. They applauded wildly as we made our escape. Evidently we weren’t the only ones that had had enough of the guy.)

(My friend and I are walking around our local mall, when we are approached by a lady.)

Lady: “You two look very alike.”

Me: *smiles* “I know! We actually get that a lot—”

Lady: “Yeah, both ugly.”

(I have a slight accent, as my dad is from the UK and often goes there. However, I haven’t ever been out of the country. I’m on break at a mall, and a stranger hears me talking with a friend.)

Stranger: “You have a beautiful voice. Where are you from?”

Me: “Thank you. I actually live in the city.”

Stranger: “Well, where did you live before here?”

Me: “Uh… [City].”

Stranger: “You’re not from here! Nobody from [City] has that accent!”

Me: “They do if their dad is from Europe.”

(The stranger stormed off. My friend and I stayed away from the busier halls after that.)

This story is part of our “Where are you from?” roundup!

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(I’ve just found the piece of underwear I was looking for, from the mall’s own brand. The closest check-out happens to be their shop-in-shop lingerie store, so I go there to let the cashier ring up my item.)

Cashier: “That’ll be [total]. Would you like to get a savings card?”

Me: “Perhaps. What does it get me?”

Cashier: “€5 off on your next purchase at [Lingerie Store], over €25 and up.”

Me: “Oh, no thanks. I never shop here.”

Cashier: *gives me a strange look*

Me: “I mean, I never shop for €25 here at [Lingerie Store].”

Cashier: “Oh…” *hands me the receipt* “Well, have a nice day, then.”