(I have struggled with confidence issues in the past, thanks to an unsupportive family and being a misfit at school due to my ‘nerdiness.’ However, with the help of a few close friends, I’ve become less self-conscious. Though my weight was never a huge issue for me, I’ve always been a bit embarrassed for being slightly chubby, and have slowly come to accept it. At the moment, I’m shopping for a coat with my grandmother.)

Me: *tries on coat* “I really like this one. It’s definitely my style, and is really comfortable as well.”

Grandmother: “Ugh, you can’t buy that! You look so fat in it.”

Me: “But I don’t care if I look fat; as long as I’m healthy, I don’t mind being a bit chubby.”

Grandmother: “You should mind. You need to get rid of all that flab. And besides, the coat’s a horrible style.”

(I’m feeling a bit hurt, especially since I take a lot of pride in my somewhat nonconformist sense of style.)

Me: “Look, it’s my body, and I’m going to be the one wearing the coat, so isn’t it my choice whether I get it or not?”

Grandmother: “[My Name], stop being so disrespectful! You need to work on getting a better figure, and you should buy nicer clothes. I know best, since I’m older.”

(She insisted I get a coat I hated, and then said she’d pay. Afterwards…)

Grandmother: “Since that coat cost so much, I guess it’s an early birthday present.”

(My mom, my sister, and I are all at our local mall looking for a dress for my mom to wear to my sister’s wedding. For the most part, this involves me and my sister canvassing the racks for anything sparkly, blue or purple, or otherwise interesting, since we’re all well aware that some really pretty dresses look terrible on the rack and vice versa. The one Mom’s trying on right now is fitted through the bodice with a drape-y, cowl-like second layer on one side. It should also be noted that both the zipper and the tags are on the side on this particular dress.)

Mom: “So? What do you think?”

Sister: “I like the colour. And the fabric.”

Me: “It’s a little plain, but it would be very easy to dress it up.” *I twirl my finger, and she spins for us*

Mom: “I like it, except for this drape-y thing on the back.”

(My sister and I nod, totally agreeing, as a salesman passes by. He gives us an incredulous look before speaking in a tone that is trying very hard to be polite, despite his horror.)

Salesman: “Ma’am? The ruffle goes in the front.”

(Mom looks a little embarrassed, but gamely goes back into the changing room to turn it around. When she comes back out, both my sister and I try to stifle our giggles.)

Mom: *looks down at the front of the dress and speaks plaintively* “This is terrible. I think I liked it better backwards.”

(My mom, daughter, and I are shopping when we walk past a kiosk offering bathroom renovations.)

Salesperson: “Are you happy with your bathroom?”

Me: “I don’t have a bathroom.”

Mom: “Yeah, we pee in the woods.”

Daughter: “Can we really, grandma?!”

(My 12-year-old son and I are walking through a mall and come to a sporting goods shop. There’s a window display of skiing equipment, including a figure dressed in a shiny grey and black ski suit and brandishing, for some reason, a balloon sword.)

Me: “Ha! That looks like something out of Star Wars.”

Son: “Yes! It’s Mannequin Skywalker!”

(My boyfriend and I stop at a store that’s evenly divided down the middle between stuff catering to women and stuff catering to men. Most of the girls’ clothes are either princess-y and skimpy and thus very much not my style. I look around the store, and my boyfriend leans over.)

Boyfriend: “So… um… well I didn’t know what I was going to get you for Christmas. So, I want you to pick out two things you want.”

(I hug him and tell him how sweet he is, then start looking around the store some more. Then, eureka!)

Me: “Oh, my gosh! Dovahkiin!” *pointing at a ‘Skyrim’ shirt* “That one! I want that one!”

Boyfriend: “They only have it in men’s sizes.”

Me: “It’s Skyrim! I don’t care!”

(I’m fairly petite, so I’m almost literally jumping up and down to try and grab the smallest one they have. My boyfriend, who is much taller than me, reaches up and grabs it, then tells me to pick out one more shirt. I look over and finally spot something on the girls’ side of the store that I like: a fitted tee with baby Avengers on it. Baby Thor’s Mjolnir hammer has Nick Fury’s face on it. I ‘squee’ over it, of course, and grab it.)

Boyfriend: “Okay, but since this is your Christmas present from me, you can’t wear one of these until Christmas day.”

Me: “Aww!”

(I wore the Baby Avengers shirt on Christmas day, and it was awesome.)