Curler Me Surprised

| Related | April 27, 2012

(I dye my hair different colours a lot. I am out with my mum when I see a girl with hair the colour I want.)

Me: “I want to dye my hair that colour.”

Mum: “What? Curly?”

Me: *sarcastically* “Yes, I want to dye my hair curly. It’s my favourite colour.”

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A Punky-Dory Christmas

| Related | February 22, 2012

(I’m out with my Mom and Grandmother. We are shopping during the Christmas season.)

Grandma: “Oh, look at that young lady’s festive jacket and hair! It’s got Christmas decorations on it.”

(Mom and I turn to see a stereotypical punk girl. She has colourful patches all over her jacket. Her hair is red, though.)

Me: “No, Grandma. She’s being punk, not in the Christmas spirit.”

Grandma: “And see, that’s why you’re here. I would have gone over to her and raved about her coat asked her where she got all of the decorations.”

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The Adults Are Naughty, The Kids Are Nice

| Right | February 15, 2012

(Over the holidays, I work as a Santa that little kids can take pictures with. One particularly large family cames through with just one little girl. She comes to me and we take a picture. While the rest of the family is looking at the previews for the picture, I’m talking to the child.)

Me: “And what would you like for Christmas this year?”

Girl: *goes through a few things*

Me: “Anything else?”

Girl: “Crabs.”

(I pause for a moment and look up at the family with widened eyes.)

Me: “Did I hear her right?”

Family member: “What did she say?”

Girl: “I want crabs.”

(The entire family bursts out laughing at this point. One of the family members holds off laughing just long enough to describe to me a toy crab that the girl’s been asking for.)

Me: “Oh, whew! I didn’t know what to think!”

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The Bag Is A Steal, But Nanny Is A Riot

| Related | February 6, 2012

(My grandma is pretty cautious about everything. We’ve been shopping at a teen’s clothing store. We call her ‘Nanny’.)

Nanny: “Here, let’s put our bag under the car seats so no will steal them.”

Me: “Who would steal them? Desperate teenage girls?”

Nanny: “Or, hooligans. They may want a gift for their girlfriends!”

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Skirting The Real Issue

| Romantic | January 30, 2012

(I am shopping with my boyfriend. I try to describe to him what I’m looking for.)

Me: “I’m looking for black leather shoes with heels.”

Boyfriend: “You don’t really think I’m helping you with your shoe shopping, do you?”

Me: “Oh, come on! I was helping you when you needed new trousers, new shoes, and that new belt!”

Boyfriend: “Well, I love to come shopping with you when you need new underwear, skirts, tights, bras, bikinis…”

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