Return Policies For Dummies

| Denver, CO, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests

(I use to work for a popular clothing store that does not give cash back refunds. I am working as cashier when a lady comes through with a bag of clothes.)

Me: “Hi. How can I help you?”

Customer: “I need to return these.”

Me: “Okay, no problem. Are you aware of our return policy?”

Customer: “Um, no.”

Me: “So, we don’t give cash back returns. You can do either an exchange or get store credit.”

Customer: “What?! No, I want my money back!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, our return policy is only for exchanges or store credit.”

Customer: “That’s ridiculous! I don’t want a store credit. I want my money back! Why can’t you just give me my money?!”

Me: “The register doesn’t allow me to do that, ma’am. I can only let you exchange these items for something else or give you store credit.”

(The customer is now raising her voice and she’s being to be rude which has gained my manager’s attention. I’ve explained to the customer that there’s nothing I can do about giving her her money back.)

Customer: “I never heard of that being the return policy. Get your manager and have them do it.”

(My manager, who’s been watching, starts to walk over.)

Me: “The manager can’t override it so they won’t be able to give you cash either. When you purchased these items did the cashier happen to tell you about our policy?”

(We are required to ask each customer when they checkout and inform them if they don’t know our policy for this reason.)

Customer: “No. And I don’t care! Now give me my money back!”

Me: “We’re supposed to always ask so I’m sorry they didn’t. Do you mind showing me your receipt?”

(Customer hands me her receipt which has the return policy on the bottom. Looking at it I immediately see that the previous cashier circled the return policy with a highlighter.)

Me: *turning it towards her so she can read it* “Do you mind reading the bottom of your receipt, please?”

Customer: *reads it and when she’s finished, looks up* “Yeah, but—”

Me: “Ma’am, generally before I go to return something to a store, I look at the return policy so I don’t look like an idiot in front of the cashier.”

(The customer turns red as I turn to my manager, who’s trying not to laugh.)

Me: “Can I go on break?”

Manager: “Yes, you can. I was going to help but you clearly had that handled.”

(My manager let me go on break while she gave the customer her store credit return. I could have been written up for it but my manager said technically I didn’t call the customer an idiot, I just implied it, and she was done listening to the lady yelling at me.)

Doesn’t Understand The ‘Custom’ Part Of Customer, Part 10

, | Adelaide, SA, Australia | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

(The store I work in is located in a large mall. Occasionally we get calls asking for directions to our store located in the mall, and when I answer this call I assume that’s where the conversation is headed at first. Note that I’m on my own in the store at this point, because my coworker is out the back on her lunch break.)

Me: “Thanks for calling [Store]; you’re speaking with [My Name].”

Customer: “Are you near [Store Next Door]?”

Me: “Yes, we’re right next door.”

Customer: “Oh, good. Could you pop in there and speak to them for me? I’ve been trying to call them about my order but no one’s picking up the phone.”

Me: “I’m sorry; you want me to go next door?”

Customer: “Yeah, just go in real quick and ask them to check on my order for me. My name is—”

Me:” I’m sorry, ma’am, but I can’t leave my store at the moment. You’ll have to call [Store Next Door] back to check with them yourself.”

Customer: “They’re not answering the phone, and I’ve been trying for ages. You’re right next door. Just go and check with them.”

Me: “As I explained before, ma’am, I can’t leave my store right now. I’m sorry, there’s nothing I can do to help you.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous. You’re just being lazy. This is terrible customer service!”

(The caller hangs up the phone before I get a chance to reply and I go about my day unaffected, until the phone rings again not ten minutes later…)

Me: “Thanks for calling [Store]. You’re speaking with [My Name].”

Customer: “Yes, hi. I was wondering if you could help me. I’m trying to get in contact with [Store Next Door] and they’re not answering their phone. I guess it must be a little busy over there. Would you mind popping next door and checking on my order for me?”

Me: “Ma’am, did you call about this just a moment ago?”

Customer: *flustered, since I’ve caught her out* “No. Look, I don’t know what you’re talking about. My name is [Customer]. Can you just pop next door and check on my order for me? I’ll hold the line.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but as I told you the last time we spoke, I cannot leave my store to check on your order. I’m on my own at the moment, and I have to serve customers here.”

Customer: “I’m a customer! Why won’t you help me?”

Me: “Are you interested in purchasing products from this store?”

(The customer promptly hung up on me.)

Doesn’t Understand The ‘Custom’ Part Of Customer, Part 9
Doesn’t Understand The ‘Custom’ Part Of Customer, Part 8
Doesn’t Understand The ‘Custom’ Part Of Customer, Part 7


| Wilkes Barre, PA, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body

(I am spending the day today with my grandmother to do some Christmas shopping, and because she has some birthday coupons for several of the stores to use. I need to use the restroom, so I tell her to go ahead and wait on a bench and I’d be right back.)

Me: *opens the restroom door just in time to see one of the stall doors SLAM shut as if someone rushed in there*

Woman: *is audibly scrambling around in the stall, presumably getting toilet paper to wipe the seat or something*

Me: *sneezes*

Woman: “Oh! Uh… You might wanna leave. I… I don’t wanna put anyone else through this.”

Me: *in partial disbelief of what I just heard her say, quietly exits the restroom and makes the long walk to the bathroom in the nearest department store*

(At least she was considerate. LOL!)

This Can’t Be Right

| MN, USA | Extra Stupid

(A group of teenagers comes in and one of them approaches me.)

Teenager: “Can you tell us how to get to [Location]?”

Me: “No problem. You just go out my door, turn left, and it’ll be just around the corner. Can’t miss it.”

Teenager: “Thanks.”

(They go out the door, look around for a moment and their spokesperson returns.)

Teenager: “Which way is left?”

Wearing The Bracelets Of Persecution

| AB, Canada | Bigotry, Criminal & Illegal

(Two women come in and pick out several hundred dollars worth of things. This is something that we watch for because it is an excellent tactic for shoplifting. Eventually they approach the counter.)

Girl #1: “Why are they watching us?”

Girl #2: “It’s because we’re Native, isn’t it?”

Me: “No, we have employees stationed at various point through the store at all times to create the optimal experience for customers to be able to locate an employee without much issue.”

(I watch the girl slip a bracelet into her pocket.)

Me: “So with the bracelet in your pocket, your total will be [Total]. And in fact they are one for [Price] or two for [Better Price].

Girl #1: “There is no bracelet in my pocket.”

Me: “That’s because your friend grabbed it while you were trying to cause an issue about your race. I watched you.”

Girl #2: “I’d like to speak with a manager.”

(My manager has been watching on the cameras in the back room. We have video of the girl blatantly taking the bracelet. The manager comes out.)

Manager #1: “Girls, security has been alerted. You have two options here. You can hand over the bracelet and pay for ALL of the items, or face prosecution.”

Girl #2: “You have no proof.”

Manager #1: *points at the camera* “We do.”

(They hand over the bracelet and a gift card.)

Me: “This gift card will not be sufficient to cover the costs of these items.”

(At this point security shows up and escorts them out of the store and asks if we’d like to pursue charges. Thinking they learnt their lesson, we chose not to go forward with charges but did place a ban on them from returning. On my next shift:)

Manager #2: “So, what happened the other day?”

(I explain what happened.)

Manager #2: “That’s not what [District Manager] said. She heard from the girls’ mother. Apparently they called her to lodge a formal complaint after the girls said you called them [derogatory term for Native women].”

Me: “Um, no, I called out the one girl for attempting to steal an item. Then security escorted them out.”

(They launched a full investigation into the incident and finally the girls broke down and explained that they were angry that I had caught them and lied to get me fired.)

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