Not The Sharpest Pencil In The Pack

, , , | Right | August 8, 2018

(A friend working in a makeup store sees a customer walk in.)

Employee: “Hi, can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I’d like to return this eyeliner pencil.”

Employee: “Okay, was there anything wrong with it?”

Customer: “Yes, when I tried to sharpen it, it wouldn’t sharpen.”

(The employee stands there dumbstruck; the pencil is not retractable and should sharpen just fine. The manager walks by with an eyeliner sharpener and sharpens it no problem.)

Manager: “It seems okay to me.”

Customer: “Well, it clogged my sharpener when I tried.”

Employee: “What kind of sharpener do you use?”

Customer: “You know, the electric ones you get from [Office Supply Store].”

(After five minutes of them explaining to the customer why what she was doing was stupid, she bought a $2 makeup pencil sharpener and left. The employee and her manager started laughing.)

Your Story Doesn’t (Lip)Stick Together

, , , , , | Right | January 14, 2018

(A customer comes in to return two items. She does not have a receipt or the boxes for either product. She looks like a hippie version of a Jersey Shore cast member.)

Me: “Without a receipt or the original boxes, we can only do an exchange or give you the money back on a merchandise credit.”

Customer: “Oh, no, that won’t work. I really need the money, and I can’t use these products on my face because my friend just started an organic skin care line. I only use organic products on my face now. Please, I just really need the money.”

(My manager is right next to me. I explain the situation and she tells her the same thing I did. She continues to ask if we can call someone else over. We call another manager over, who tells her the same thing.)

Customer: “Please, I need the money for my rent. Can I buy something with the merchandise credit and return it and get cash back?”

Manager: “No, we can only refund in the original form of payment.”

(She decides to take the merchandise credit, which is over $100. I ask for her email for our rewards program.)

Customer: “Oh, I don’t trust computers, except for Facebook!”

(I show her some products she’s interested in. She proceeds to apply a lipstick directly to her lips without it being cleaned off and disinfected. Thinking this would be a concern, since she only wants organic products, I tell her I can clean it off for her.)

Customer: “Oh, I don’t care!”

(When she checked out, she spent the whole merchandise credit, plus $30. I thought she “really needed the money.”)


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Getting Under Your Skin

| USA | Right | March 11, 2017

(I work at a popular makeup store doing people’s makeup and hair. A woman walks up to the counter and taps the table to get my attention.)

Me: “Hi! How can I help you today?”

Customer: “I need my makeup done for a date. I haven’t seen him in a while and I want to look different.”

Me: “What do you mean by different? ”

(I’m thinking that she means a hairstyle, so I begin to grab some of our booklets with the styles we offer.)

Customer: “Like your skin!”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “What do you use to make it so brown? The tanning spray I use makes my skin look orange.”

Me: “This is my natural skin tone, ma’am.”

Customer: “Whatever, you don’t have to tell me. Just do my makeup. I don’t want to be late.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t do that.”

Customer: “Why not?”

Me: “I can’t change your natural skin tone; it’s not possible.”

Customer: “Fine! Screw you! If he doesn’t like how I look I’ll get you fired!”

Coworker: “Easy, Breezy, Colored girl.”