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A Scrabble To Find The Scribbler

, , , , , | Working | April 29, 2019

(At the factory where I work, coworkers suddenly start writing “funny” messages on the doors and walls of our toilets. It turns out it’s some kind of contest between them. Clearly, management isn’t thrilled, and issues a memo that if anyone is caught in the act they’ll be fired on the spot. But since these are toilets, it is illegal to install camera surveillance. Without any means of surveillance, the memo has no effect and the walls and doors get smeared with more new “funnies” every day. One day, the maintenance department thinks they’ve found a solution in a paint that is supposed to be resistant against all sorts of pens, markers, crayons, etc. They invite a salesman to demonstrate the product. The man comes in with a lot of samples and we all get to try to write on the samples with anything we can come up with: markers, pens, lipstick, pencils, and even spray paint. Nothing sticks to the samples. The salesman cleans every sample without any effort.)

Head Maintenance: “That’s nice. But I want to see this stuff on one door of our toilets.”

Salesman: “Sure you can. I’ll treat one of your doors with our product, but you’ll have to sign this order for it first.”

Head Maintenance: “There’s no way I’m going to buy a product if I haven’t tested it in real life. That’s why we asked for a demonstration in the first place. We’re done.”

(Management found a cheaper solution. They painted the toilets and hired someone to clean the toilets whenever workers used them. That man also checked the toilets for new scribbles. As a result, two coworkers were fired. The walls and doors stayed clean.)

 

They Littered Worse Than The Cat

, , , , | Working | April 12, 2019

Our property manager sends the building tenants a notice that the maintenance team will be coming in to check smoke detectors and take some photos for possible future upgrades.

My fiancé responds to the email to inform the manager that we have the front door blocked off with a small craft desk — we only use the back/outside stairs — so the team will need to enter through the back door. We also remind them that we have a cat and they need to be mindful of her when entering and existing.

The day comes and they do their thing while my fiancé and I are at work. When my fiancé gets home, he finds they have moved the desk halfway into our bedroom, knocked over everything that was on it, and shut the bathroom door in the process. That means they shut our cat out of her litter box for who knows how long and completely disrespected our simple request. There’s no way they could have gotten into the front door with the desk and chain lock still in place, so they went out of their way to move all of this stuff when they left, rather than using the outside doors to go to the next apartment.

Leak Out Leads To Freak Out

, , , | Working | September 10, 2018

(I am attending university and have started my third year. After some bad experiences with roommates, I have moved into an on-campus apartment where I live by myself. Everything is just fine until I come back from visiting my parents over winter break. One morning when I wake up and start to get ready for class, I notice an odd sound, like someone has turned on a garden hose and left it running at high volume. Because it’s winter, this seems very strange, but I need to eat and get to class so I put it out of my mind and continue on with my day. By the time I get home that evening, the sound is still going, and I manage to figure out where it seems to be coming from, so I submit a ticket to maintenance describing the sound and explaining that it is coming from somewhere beneath my ground floor apartment. The next day, I get a call from the maintenance office.)

Maintenance: “We have a ticket that says you think someone left a hose running on the premises?”

Me: “I don’t know if that’s what it is, but I’m hearing a lot of water running.”

Maintenance: “We don’t have any hoses out right now; are you sure you’re hearing water?”

Me: “Yes. It sounds like a lot of it, too.”

Maintenance: “Is there water on your floor?”

Me: “No, but it sounds like whatever it is is below my apartment.”

Maintenance: “If there’s no water, there’s nothing we can do. If you have no further questions, I am closing your ticket.”

(The whole conversation is a bit odd, but I don’t have much to report other than the sound. It continues non-stop for two weeks before the water pressure in my apartment suddenly dips. I send in another ticket and request that maintenance come by on an afternoon when I’ll be home so I can ask a few questions. When the maintenance person shows up, it’s the same man I talked to on the phone. I turn on the sink in the kitchenette and the faucet in the bathtub to show him that it’s not just a problem with one fixture when he asks about it. He tinkers around for a while before declaring that it’ll probably solve itself in a couple of days. Before he leaves, I ask about the running water sound. It’s been ongoing since he arrived, and it’s very loud.)

Maintenance: *giving me a skeptical look* “That’s your heating unit kicking on.”

Me: “Why does my heating unit sound like running water?”

(He shrugs and leaves. At this point I don’t want to argue because I need to head to work. As the semester continues, however, I find myself becoming increasingly concerned. Whatever this is, there is a lot of water involved, and whenever I try to talk to maintenance about it, they completely dismiss my concerns. By the time spring break rolls around, I have gotten the housing department involved in the hopes that they will take this more seriously. At one time or another, I have spoken to a majority of the maintenance staff, and I get the feeling they’re now convinced I’m a nuisance caller. Since I’ll be gone over the break and I want to get this dealt with, I print off copies of each ticket I’ve submitted and make a recording of the sound on my phone before heading over to the housing office to talk to someone in person. I am assured they’ll look into it and leave a few days later. I’m out with my parents when I start receiving frantic emails and a couple of phone calls. When I can, I answer the phone.)

Housing Rep: “Hello? Is this [My Name]?”

Me: “Yes, hello. May I ask who this is?”

Housing Rep: “This is Student Housing. I’m calling regarding your apartment on campus. The building has been condemned by the city, and we’re trying to move all student residents to other units. Do you have a preference for where you would like to move?”

Me: “Wait. My apartment is condemned? What happened?”

Housing Rep: “Due to a leak in the water main, the city has declared the building unsafe for residents. We are evacuating all apartments above the leak and moving you into alternative housing.”

(When I got back and went in to move my stuff, I found out that they had an “oh, s***” moment after jackhammering into the concrete pad under my apartment. I guess three months of leaking water destabilizes the ground when you’ve got buildings on a sandy floodplain. Who knew?)

 

Won’t Lose Sleep Over Losing A Job

, , , , , , , | Working | January 19, 2018

(I am a college student, working as a summer cleaner for my former school district along with three other students and the district custodians. I am paired up to work with another girl. Our task mainly consists of scraping gum off the desks and moving said desks out of the classrooms so the custodians can wax the floors. This girl has been known for wandering off and hiding in one of the classrooms so she can sleep while I do all the work. I go to my supervisors about it. A couple of weeks later, we are cleaning the gymnasium, and when I turn around to ask my coworker a question, I notice she is lying on the gym floor, sound asleep and snoring. Right at that moment, my supervisor and the head custodian walk in to check on us and see her sleeping on the floor. Then, they look at me. My supervisor looks irritated because he has caught her many times sleeping on the job after asking her not to, but the head custodian looks amused and smiles. As my supervisor goes over to wake her, the head custodian stops him.)

Head Custodian: “Don’t wake her up; I have an idea. [My Name], go to the supply cart and pretend you’re looking for something.”

(I don’t ask any questions, so I walk over to the supply cart and bend down to get a garbage bag, and out of the corner of my eye, I see him walk up behind her and start to yell, “FIRE! THERE’S A HUGE FIRE IN THE BUILDING! GET OUT NOW!” My coworker jumps up, startled, and when she sees the head janitor and our supervisor standing in front of her, she goes white in the face.)

Head Custodian: “I think we need to have a little talk, [Coworker]. This has been going on for way too long and is getting out of hand. [My Name], do you think you will be all right by yourself?

(Trying not to laugh, I nod, and my supervisor smiles at me.)

Supervisor: “Poor [My Name] is so used to working by herself by now, and she always does a great job, too. She will be more than fine!”

(As they left, I went back to work and when it was time for lunch, I informed my other two coworkers what happened. When I was about to clock out for the day, my supervisor informed me that they would be bringing in someone from another building to work with me because they had decided to fire my coworker. I worked this summer job for three years, and every year I made sure to warn any of the new employees not to fall asleep on the job, especially when the head custodian was around!)

A-Salted With Your Fishy Tale

, , | Right | April 18, 2016

Me: “Hello, this is [Pool Store]. How can I help you?”

Customer: *on the phone* “Hi, I just bought a house with a pool and had some questions.”

Me: “Certainly. First I need to know if it’s a salt or freshwater pool.”

Customer: “I don’t know; how could I find that out?”

Me: “I need to you check to see if you have a salt generator or not.”

Customer: “All right, I think it’s a salt pool. How would I start it up?”

Me: “Do you know the gallonage of your pool?”

Customer: “Yes, it’s [average size pool].”

Me: “All right. Well, looking at my chart, you’re going to need 625lbs of salt to reach the required concentration if the concentration is currently 0ppm.”

Customer: “That’s a lot of salt.”

Me: “Yes, it is, sir.”

Customer: “How would I add the salt?”

Me: “Just toss it into the pool; there’s no special way of adding it.”

Customer: “That’s not how you do it.”

Me: “Yes, it is, sir. There may be other systems out there but if it’s our pool then you don’t have a special salt system attached.”

Customer: “Are you sure that’s how you add it?”

Me: “Yes. You want to raise your salt level to between 3000ppm and 3500ppm and to go to that from scratch, for your size pool, you need to add 625lbs of salt.”

Customer: “All right. Is it going to taste like salt?”

Me: “That’s a common misconception with salt pools. If the salt is within that range you won’t taste salt; if it’s 6000pm or higher you may.”

Customer: “So you’re telling me I need to add 1250lbs of salt?”

Me: “Not unless you want to taste salt.”

Customer: “What if I want to?”

Me: “Why would you want to taste salt?”

Customer: “Because I want it to be like the ocean.”

Me: “Ok…”

Customer: “How much salt would I have to add to my pool to be able to put fish in and swim.”

Me: “Are you telling me you want to make an open air salt water aquarium out of your pool?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Then I suggest you talk to a pet store. We can sell the salt but I have no experience in maintaining marine life.”