Will Need Therapy After The Doctor

, , , , | Right | October 8, 2018

(I am sitting in the waiting room at the doctor’s office, playing on my phone, when a regular customer from my office comes into the room and recognizes me. I know his face, but I don’t know his name or anything about him unless it’s on my work computer.)

Regular: “Hey, don’t you work over at [Local Cable Company]?”

Me: “Yes, I do.”

(I really just want sit there in peace, but I now know this won’t be a possibility.)

Regular: “You’re still over there?”

Me: “Yes, I am.”

(He sits down next to me.)

Regular: “You probably don’t like to talk about work when you’re not there, huh?”

Me: “No, I usually don’t.”

Regular: “So, I’ve got this problem with my box in my bedroom. I’ve got a couple of boxes, but you know that already.”

Me: “…”

Regular: “So, this box… When I’m using the remote, it freezes up when I’m changing channels, as you know already, and the girl upstairs from me is a tech for you guys. You know who I’m talking about.”

Me: “…”

Regular: “So, she and the other girl, they’re, you know, ‘together,’ and we don’t really get along. I think she’s hacking into my box.”

Me: *long pause* “It’s most likely that your box is just getting old and it’s time to get a newer model. If not that, then it’s likely that your signal levels might be a bit off.”

Regular: “I don’t know. She really doesn’t like me, and I think she’s trying to get back at me.”

Me: “I think it’s unlikely that she would hack into your cable box just to slow down your ability to change channels.”

Regular: “Oh! You don’t think so?”

Me: “No, I think it’s more likely that it’s just time to replace your box.”

Regular: “Oh, okay.” *pause* “I’ve been having trouble getting Windows 10 to install…”

(He grilled me for another ten minutes about random software issues until I was mercifully called in to see the doctor.)

Unfiltered Story #122263

, , | Unfiltered | October 1, 2018

[ We have a somewhat regular customer, an older woman who always comes in with her small dog. The dog is not particularly well-trained, but not mean – just overly friendly, and she often lets it jump on other customers’ legs as she shops because of its long leash. We are not allowed to say anything per company policy. I always thought she seemed a little lonely and “out there” so I have never been anything but nice to her, although she has been rude to myself and a co-worker on occasion. On a very busy Friday evening as a snowstorm is ramping up, this particular customer comes in and shops around for a little before approaching my register. Note that I have a huge line and the only other employee in the store, my manager, has hopped on a register to help me. ]

Customer: *Putting her items on the counter* “Do you have any bottled water left?”

Me: *Assuming she means the 24 packs of water, since they are on sale and have been selling fairly quickly.* “Yes, the [brand] water? We have some in the back. I’ll go grab one for you.”

[ The customer says nothing to the contrary. I walk to the back of the store and to the back room and grab a case of water. I’m a small girl, so its not terribly easy, but I manage fine and return, expecting to proceed with the transaction. ]

Customer: *Staring at the water.* “What?…That’s…Not what I wanted.”

Me: *Confused, because I checked with her before leaving.* “I’m sorry…? You did say bottled water…”

Customer: *She leans down to pet her dog for a little while before responding to me.* “No, that’s not what I wanted. I wanted the bottled water with the handle!”

Me: *Sighing internally, but willing to let it slide because the transaction has already taken way too long already and the line keeps getting longer, even with my manager helping.* “Oh okay, I’m sorry about that, I’ll go to the back and get you those.”

[ I again walk to the back room and check the stock. We only have [brand] of water left, so I bring two of them out and walk back up front. ]

Customer: “This is spring water…? No…No, I don’t want these, this isn’t the brand I buy normally! Forget it.” *Mumbling incoherently.*

[At this point, I am getting frustrated, and begin ringing her items so I can hopefully move the transaction along. Meanwhile, her dog has been jumping on the other customers in line, though, gracefully, none of them got upset. The woman is now paying more attention to the dog than to the transaction. I am a patient person, though, and manage to stay pleasant.]

Me: “Okay, your total will be [amount].”

[ The customer then began fumbling through her wallet and her purse, which goes on for about two minutes. The transaction has already taken at least ten minutes. Its apparent that she can’t find her credit/debit card and I can feel the stares of waiting customers. ]

Me: “Ma’am, would you mind stepping aside so that I could take the next customer in line? You only have a few items so it won’t take long to ring you out once you find your card.”

Customer: *Ignores me, continuing to rifle through her wallet and purse while mumbling.*

[ I look helplessly to my manager, who just shrugs and tells me not to worry. I wait for about a minute or so, until she finally hands me a $20 bill, still mumbling that she has to find her card. As I get her change, I try to calm her down a little. ]

Me: “When was the last time you used it? Its probably best not to drive around looking for it in this weather. You should call your bank and have them cancel the card so that if anyone finds it, they can’t use it.”

Customer: “No, what do you know? I need to find my card! I just had it!”

[ She swipes her change and her items from and leaves with her dog, not bothering to  thank me, nor the line of customers behind her for our patience. ]

What’s Cooking? (Not Much)

, , , , | Right | September 26, 2018

(I witness this while stocking an aisle one summer. I work in a smaller store in a tourist town, so there is one counter for both fish and meat.)

Customer: “These lobsters look sick.”

Clerk: “They look healthy to me; they are wandering around in the tank pretty normally.”

Customer: “But they’re not red!”

Clerk: “Their shells turn red when you cook them.”

Customer: “I have to cook them?!”

(I hated working in a tourist town.)

Needs Excuses With Some Bite To Them

, , , , | Working | August 29, 2018

(I work in the kitchen of a tourist town restaurant. In the summer, buses of 50 or so senior citizens come from all over to eat and enjoy the view. We know about their arrival well beforehand and we have a prepared menu for them, which includes salad, their choice of steak or fish entree, and a dessert. Since it is summer, the restaurant is full already and the kitchen staff are a little stressed. Having the seniors’ food prepped and ready to go makes the whole process easier. A waitress comes down with six steak dinners on a serving tray. The kitchen is very busy, so she shouts to get noticed.)

Waitress: “Hey, boss, I have six orders of steak for the senior bus that need to be fish, instead.”

(The boss, who is also the head chef, slams something on the counter and yells back at her.)

Boss: “What the h***?! They get what they pre-ordered! We don’t have time to remake orders for them for no good reason!”

(The waitress, who is also pretty frazzled, slams down the tray.)

Waitress: “You want a good reason? I’ll give you a good reason! These poor old people forgot their d*** teeth and can’t eat their d*** steak! Now can I get six fish dishes, please?!”

(I have never heard a place go so quiet so quickly in all my life. Props to my boss, though, for saying, “Now that’s a d*** good reason,” and making them the fish.)

Getting An Odd Reading On This Situation

, , , , , | Right | August 6, 2018

Customer: “I’d like to find out information about upgrading my membership.”

Me: “Okay, if you were to upgrade it would be $100 instead of $70, and the coverage would be an extra 100 miles of service.”

Customer: “Can you print that out for me instead of just telling me?”

Me: “Sure!” *prints information out and hands to member* “There you go.”

Customer: “Can you read it to me? I can’t read.”

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